Is it possible to keep a friends with benefits without developing feelings for them?

I've been seeing this guy and we have kind of a friends with benefits thing going on. I like that we cuddle, kiss and do all the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff just we aren't committed to each other although I personally am not really looking for anyone else nor do I really want a commitment from him. I want things to stay how they are, we hang out, cuddle, kiss, bang and then go on with our day lol. Is it possible to continue on like this without getting feelings for each other? I mean I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with him it's just he's really the only good thing in my life right now and I like things how they are now and I don't want him to feel the need to commit to me, but if he wanted to I would, but we would have to kinda go backwards and take things slow because I was hurt bad in the past and it's hard for me to open up to people.


Most Helpful Girl

  • well really a friends with benefits is someone you mess with that you have found undatable to you so you have them around till you find someone better, yes its possible but you would just have to really have your mind on the main poin( sex). It sounds like youve developed a bit of feelings already. If you guys do boyfriend girlfriend stuff such as dates that you actually leave the house on and go out in the public (movies, etc) then that's not a fwb, instead you guys are dating. If all you do is trade sex faces and you guys never actually go on dates, then its friends with benefits, When youve been hurt bad in the past the last thing you want is a friends with benefits relationship. Ask yourself this: If he were to get a girlfriend tommorow and tell me we can't talk anymore would I be hurt? ...if the answer is yes then you answered your own question .

    • We don't go on dates in public or anything. Mainly cause he works second shift and only gets one day off a week so I usually go see him after work. I mean I care about him in a friends kind of way but I wouldn't be mad if he got a girlfriend and didn't wanna talk anymore because I've learned to not let people bother me with their actions and I know that it is a possibity of that happening. I think he's more attached to me then I am to him. He keeps telling me he loves me and wants me to be his gf.


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What Guys Said 3

  • It's possible, but tough and usually unlikely.

    But usually it's the girl that gets feelings, so in your case it should work.

    I wish there were more girls like u, who are cool with FWB-ship and don't get clingy.

    • yeah, what guy wouldn't love to get have his cake and eat it too, sex and all the things boyfriends are entitiled too without having to commit ... boyfriend treatment but don't have to put in boyfriend work, get something for nothing.

    • thats what I want too. Just to hang out cuddle, watch movies, kiss ect. And just be friends and nothing more.

    • oh boohoo. feelings. its really natural to have feelings. if you don't have feelings you end up going on killing sprees and eating peoples tongues in your mothers basement. ryan its not clingy is being alive. get a life. you want sex with a corpse there's a name for that -necrophilia- as well as psychiatric treatment.

  • Yes, it's quite possible. You should just go with the flow and everything will be alright.

  • It's possible for guys - but I don't think it is possible for girls.

    • I know it's usually the girls that fall for they guy lol. I'm not really worried about me falling for him because I'm keeping myself to a point where I know he could stop talking to me today or seriously ask me to be his girlfriend. I'm worried that he is gonna fall for me because whenever we are together he always asks me to be his girlfriend, move in with him and one time he told me he loved me and wouldn't stop saying it till I said it back and I didn't want to because I didn't mean it.

    • Sounds like he never wanted FWB, he sounds like the guy who wants to marry you after 3 dates.

    • Yeah and that's what I'm worried about. I really like him and all but I'm not ready for a relationship just yet, I just like things the way they are

What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, but you cannot control whether or not it will happen. And most often its the female who will get attached. Ever gotten into bed with a Boyfriend and had an amazing time, but just didn't feel that spark? That's an ideal situation for a FWB.

  • i feel like it's not possible. someone is always going to end up wanting more or getting emotionally atached and hurt