Online dating; is it overall more beneficial for men or for women?

There's been a lot of questions today about online dating!

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My question to all of you is; does online dating overall create more benefit for men or for women?

Vote and elaborate as much as you like. Thanks for answering! :-D

  • I've done online dating before; it benefits men more
    10% (6)4% (2)7% (8)Vote
  • I've done online dating before; it benefits women more
    16% (9)42% (22)28% (31)Vote
  • I've NEVER done online dating before; I think it benefits men more
    16% (9)6% (3)11% (12)Vote
  • I've NEVER done online dating before; I think it benefits women more
    14% (8)23% (12)18% (20)Vote
  • I think that online dating is equally beneficial / detrimental for both genders
    44% (26)25% (14)36% (40)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I've done online dating. It's definitely a bit more of a benefit for women. I did it because I can't stand bars and finding new guys to potential date is a bit tough when you work 50+ hours a week and you live in a small rural town.

    So far, the two guys I've talked to and met (just starting this whole online thing LOL), I messaged both of them first. One was definitely based off of how attractive I thought he looked and we had similar interests. The other, I liked what he wrote, there wasn't a picture but since I've met him, I still think he's attractive too. I'm quite happy to be honest. The few guys who messaged me, I only replied to 2 of them (out of 10 or so, I don't get many messages). Neither one was interested in ever meeting. Which is fine. I think I've messaged 6 guys in total, 5 replied and two actually wanted to meet.

    There are a lot of odd profiles online. I tried to be as honest as possible in mine which I think adds to the apparently low number of messages I've gotten (been there for about 2 months). I'm average-looking but with a lifestyle that not many guys want to deal with. Both of the two I've met and still talk to (got some dates planned) work in the same industry. We would have never met in real life because none of us really go out.

    I'm still saying its more of benefit for women because in the end, one of those two will end up not too happy. I still get the final choice. It's more concentrated in online than in offline but its different too. There's less of a chance for friendship. And it is focused on looks for a big part of it but that's the same offline. I will say, I have no problems approaching guys in the real world. I'm not shy, I'm just quiet and working all the time.

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    • Wow...a near perfect summation of the online dating experience lol. I like all the math involved.

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    • You're seeing two guys but are you sure they are only seeing you?

    • Does it matter? If I'm seeing 2 of them... yeah, I'm expecting that they're also seeing other people. It's dating after all.

What Girls Said 23

  • Online dating; is it overall more beneficial for men or for women?

    I think that online dating is equally beneficial / detrimental for both genders

    It seems the intentions are generally out of sync as it appears gals are generally seeking long-term relationships and guys are generally seeking one night stands, booty calls, and friends with benefits so gals getting X amount of messages tends to mean sh*t when almost all of those messages aren't offering what they want a relationship.

    As well the desires are generally out of sync as it appears gals see most guys as below average though they still respond to and message guys of varying looks and most guys (2/3) are messaging 1/3 of the most attractive gals.

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  • If you mean beneficial as in they get more dates from it, then women probably get more dates purely because they own a vagina.

    If you mean beneficial as in their likelihood of getting a date is higher, then I would say men get more of a benefit. Men usually have to make the first move and online dating helps them with that. Most women don't need to go online because they get enough male attention in real life.

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  • I've done online dating and I noticed that people don't read the profile, but look at the picture. So I would say it benefits only hot people, because everyone tries to message them. Even extremely ugly people won't go for other ugly people, they go for the hot ones.

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  • I thought I'd try it to go on dates with other girls (bisexual, and not a lot of open bisexual girls where I live). I didn't reply to any of the guys, but one stood out for his intro in the message. He didn't have a clear picture as well.

    Turned out he lived in the same city and 9 Months later we are engaged.

    Its equally beneficially in the sense that you get to know each other first. I feel that looks can blind you when you meet someone in person without knowing nothing about them, like this you get to detect their personality. It is basically a more thorough filter method for those who are wary about dating the wrong person. I had come out of an awful relationship, and this allowed me to pick someone who is more suited to me.

    Luckily, when I met him, he turned out to be just as attractive as his personality is.

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  • I've never done online dating but from what I understand, it's dependent on the site you use. If you use a free site, it's not beneficial to anyone. Yeah, girls get more action because there are more guys, but the guys are often creepy sleezebags that aren't worth the girl's time.

    If you use a paid site, then your success would be the same as it would be in real life if you were able to mingle more. As long as you're decent looking and have your life together, both genders win.

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  • I am a woman and I've tried online dating before. It has certainly benefited me a lot - I've tried it when posting a pic (I get SO many messages!) and without posting one (I still get a lot of messages, I have a good profile). However, I've noticed that a lot of the guys that I meet on there just want to get laid or don't really look like that in person...(like their picture). I try not to take it seriously...I enjoy meeting and connecting with people in real life. I find online dating to be too tiring because going on dates with several potential candidates can be very exhausting...

    Answer mine please?

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    • "I find online dating to be too tiring because going on dates with several potential candidates can be very exhausting." This.

    • Is it fair to say that you aren't one to "serial date", as in date multiple people at once?

  • I don't have anything to say about it that all the other commentors haven't alreayd said just as well. It's nice to get both perspectives though, so much about online dating I never knew.

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  • I don't see how it could benefit one gender more than the other...

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  • in my opnion its equally beneficial, I've tried online dating and I the past two years I've had 2 boyfriends, one which I'm still dating now, and we've been together almost a year, I love him so much and wouldn't have wanted it any other way :)

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    • What did he say that got you intrusted enough?

  • Women.

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  • i think it benefits the ones that has the online dating sites and services the most.

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  • It can benefit both

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  • Haha I just asked something like this...I personally I think men are more benefited why "selling themselves" and attempting to conjur up dates. women are more skeptical and put their guards up to some extent.

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  • Depending on the way the site is designed and the types of users it attracts it could go either way.

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  • equally beneficial/detrimental...

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  • It can be for both

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  • I tried online dating for years. It did get me dates, but it didn't really get me quality dates/good relationships.

    I think online dating helps a certain type of person, men and women alike. It helps very shy people break the ice, no cold approaches and it gives you something to talk about upon first meeting, rather than being completely clueless.

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  • I've dated online 2 times it the relationships were the best. Except I got catfished... The first time the second we Skyped all the time he is the best thing that's ever happened to me. He knows everything about me things I couldn't right down on paper and read again

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  • waste of time for both...

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  • My boyfriend and I met online and we both had about the same experiences. For both of us, we didn't think it was any better or worse than dating in real life. From what I read and from our experiences, I think that you have a better chance of doing online dating if you:

    a) use a paid site

    b) are at least average looking -- including height and weight

    c) have a middle class career

    d) have average to above average intelligence

    e) Are 25-45

    Just because women get more messages sayng "U R Hot! Wanna meet?" by guys who don't even read their interests doesn't mean that it's more beneficial to them.

    There are definite douche bags online, but it can be easy to spot them by their profile. Refraining from messaging the chick who is bent over showing her cleavage in every shot or the guy who takes bathroom mirror topless photos is a good start ...

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    • "Refraining from messaging the chick who is bent over showing her cleavage in every shot or the guy who takes bathroom mirror topless photos is a good start" Damn, is that what I've been doing wrong?

    • d) have average to above average intelligence

      I'm below average intelligence no lie, my 8 year old cousin is smarter then me.

  • Probably women

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  • I used online dating for a short time. I didn't not have very good luck, the people that responded to me were often old creepy guys (I specified that I wanted to meant someone my age). Eventually I did meet someone that I decided to date for a little while. He told me he wasn't seeing anyone else- he was still fishing online. It didn't last long, but on the bright side I did meet the guy I am currently seeing though him.

    I think it can be beneficial for both genders, but then again both can use the system to manipulate each other.

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  • I don't think you can necessarily generalize whether dating sites are better for men or women...it depends on the person, I think.

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What Guys Said 18

  • Online dating is fundamentally like offline dating, just allows more connections faster.

    Men who date well offline can date well online too. Same with women. It can help shy people of both genders a little, but ultimately, its just compressing a lot more dating opportunity in to less time.

    I'd hazard a guess that online dating helps younger women and older men a little. When opportunities arise, younger women have a dating advantage since they are desired by a wider range of men. Older men are better off then younger ones. I'd guess that in 'offline' dating, people are more restricted to people their age who they tend to run into socially. So online dating, which throws together wider demographic groups, benefits those groups who do well dating outside their demographic.

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  • Women easily.

    I have been on online dating and men have to put a lot of effort in to make it work. Women can just post a photo without even writing anything in their profile and pull out any date they want at will even if their physical appearance is a 5/10. If it's any less they can simply tweak their photos(which a lot of them do!) to hide their weight etc and they can get a date.

    Men play the numbers game and I don't blame them because girls can be very reluctant to respond to certain messages and we'll never get that specific person's reason because they will simply not reply. I honestly am probably more likely to get a first contact posting a casually oriented profile than posting about wanting a relationship and what my preferences are and this gives me a bad vibe since a lot of girls claim they want a relationship in their profiles.

    I also notice(both from their profiles and many of their responses) that girls online have a signicantly higher degree of narcissism than guys do when it comes to online dating. I have messaged many girls in the past and they will reply but yet show no interest back in me so I would simply drop the conversation. I have also met some girls who are very narcissistic in person.

    Girls can easily gold dig off of online dating. I have been contacted by girls and even met girls who have dates with multiple people setup prior to even meeting me. One girl was telling me how she had been seeing many guys off of match. Another girl once contacted me and I threw her number into Facebook and found her statuses about her husband problems and how she was being wined and dined off of a guy from online dating. It's very scary.

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    • Its real scary to think in todays age, men can still get rejected over a computer screen. I would of thought by now single guys like myself, who are to afraid to approach in person and fear of rejection, would have the upper hand with, online dating? I guess I was wrong.

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    • True and sad at the same time. Women want Ken and Men want Barbie lol.

    • Yah I am going to stick to normal people now offline.

  • 100% women and I have the stats to back that up.

    There are 4x as many men on online dating as women. Also most relatively attractive women I've personally known who used online dating, were all getting near 100 emails a week. I don't know any guys who have even come close to that. Most guys would be lucky to get 2-3 in a week. I've used online dating and actually met one of my GF's on match.com. It wasn't uncommon for me to send out 15-20 messages and get next to no replies. As some other women have stated, they've gotten replies to almost all of their messages.

    So if we take this into account, and do a little math, we can think about what this means in a real sense. Assume we have 40 guys and 10 girls (4-1 ratio). of those 40 girls, lets say 4 of them are above average in attractiveness so most of the if not all the guys are messaging them instead of other girls. That means each girl is getting 10 messages. Assuming simple math, that means that as a guy you always have a lot of competition.

    Some women go as far as to exploit this fact, by either just using online dating as an ego boost to flirt with guys, or to get free meals by going out on dates almost every night with a different guy (yes I've seen news reports about this).

    Obviously if your not an attractive women at all, this doesn't really apply, but then again, they're likely having issues outside of online dating as well so its not really anything new.

    I think the only somewhat of a counter argument I can offer to my own point, is that this isn't really anything unique to online dating. We can argue the real world pretty much operates in much of the same way, which is why some men actually get quite frustrated at the perceived advantage our system of dating gives to women, being in the passive role that they are in.

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  • Online dating has been on and off for me.

    I would say it is much more beneficial to women, but at the same time, they have the bigger risk. Men are much more likely to be creepy and dangerous than a woman.

    A woman's profile, especially if she's attractive can easily fetch 50 messages from different men. I know this because several of my friends met their husbands online, and they received over 100 messages from different men over the span of their 3 month subscription. I on the other hand, only received approximately 10-15, and only 3 were willing to meet. That includes both girls I messages as well as ones that messaged me.

    For me, even though its not the norm, the paid site match did not work for me at all. It was so difficult to talk to girls and most didn't message back.

    On the other hand, a free site called Okcupid has worked for me extremely well. I've met 9 women on there, all were awesome. Four of us remain friends. one of them actually became my girlfriend and we meshed really well, until distance got the best of us. Now, I'm seeing another girl who is by far the best date I've ever had. The free sites actually seem much more affective to me.

    The down side to online dating is that its a huge competition between a bunch of men competing for the same woman. Competition is what its all about, and that's the stressful part, and most likely, the women are talking to at least double the amount of people than men are. There obviously is nothing wrong with that, because that's what these sites are for.

    If you're considering online dating, go for it! You have nothing to lose. To start out, I would suggest one of the free sites. If you find it doesn't work, then try out match. Different things work for different people.

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  • Much more beneficial for women, since it's pretty much hapless guys throwing themselves at their feet for the most part. I can't blame women for getting a complex on sites like that, who wouldn't when your waking up to hundreds of emails a day.

    I've done online dating, I mainly just stood back and let them come to me. The fact is there are probably 30-50 guys for everyone one girl on a major dating site. Then you have to think of the ones that are worth messaging...You pretty much have the same odds as getting a letter back from Justin Bieber.

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  • For a guy, once you write your profile well and have good pictures, it's a decent way to get hot girls to email you, lol. If you let girls email you first, they're a little more eager. If they're not emailing you, even occasionally... you're not doing it right.

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  • I think it is beneficial equally. You can use "search" criteria to the finest details when looking for a potential date/partner. You can search for characteristics that you would never dare ask them in person.

    Now, the actually meeting and dating part might not always work out, but it might not work anyway regardless of whether you used online dating or not.

    But, overall, I'd say it comes in quite handy just because of the search options alone.

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  • I've done it and are currently doing it. I have to say it benefits women way more then guys.

    Guys have to be good looking, tall, make lots of money etc before they can even get looked at by a woman.

    Women just have to be pretty or cute.

    Take my online profile on match.com I told them I made over $100k a year, which is not even true or close. I live off a Social Security Income for a learning disability. I knew if I told the real truth about my income all the women on there would never even look at my profile. I did post a pic of myself on there in my PF but I believe its all because I said I was rich.

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  • These answers are BS.

    TO ALL THE GUYS:

    Make a profile on eharmony or OKcupid. You are now an OIL EXECUTIVE.

    wait 5 minutes... watch

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  • I was reading a blog page where the author had created 10 profiles which were identical other than the picture and then left them for a length of time. This was the results after 4 months link

    Now try and tell me that women aren't getting vastly more attention than men and that they don't have vastly more options than men. Also looks matter people, stop denying reality.

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    • Hahahahahahah the guy with zero! Sad but true. Learn from this people.

  • i think its more beneficial to people who put up good photos, are patient and got their act together.

    not so much divided by gender boundaries.

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  • I've never done it, but from what I've heard it's more beneficial for women.

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  • I think it is definitely better for women.

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  • It is beneficial for both, but in different ways. If you're trying to get a date, I'd say it's more beneficial for guys because most women have no problem getting dates in real life.

    It benefits women more in the sense that they screen out which guy is the best fit for them considering they get tons of messages. A lot of guys, myself included, will take what we can get. That isn't to say I have no standards, but women can be more picky in their partners than men can.

    It's also beneficial for men because it makes it easier for them to approach women. I'm not socially awkward or necessarily afraid of approaching women, but if I have nothing to say then I don't bother. This makes it so guys will have something they can start a conversation about.

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  • It's more beneficial for women since they can pick among hundreds of suitors.

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  • Women.

    All they gotta do is post a profile that proves they're a female human and the messages come rolling in.

    I did an experiment for a sociology class where I made a really crappy female profile (generic, boring text and average looks) and a really stellar male profile (male model, impressive job, exciting hobbies most women would enjoy).

    The female profile got a ton of messages, mainly from guys just going "Hey beautiful" or "How's it going?" and the male profile got about a 7% *response* rate (the messages were well-thought out, incorporated jokes and proved that he read their profile and they "had a lot in common")...an actual date arraignment was even lower.

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  • I've done online dating, and I know guys and girls who've done it, and I would say it's much more beneficial for women. Women get a lot of messages. Guys get very few, if any. And it's difficult for a guy to get a reply because he's competing not just with all the usual confident guys; he's also competing with the shy guys who try online dating instead of approaching girls in real life. An experiment I read about showed that an ugly girl would actually receive more messages than a hot guy. I think, as a guy unless you look literally like a model, online dating is pretty useless. I think you're more likely to be successful with a hot girl in real life than an ugly girl online. That said, as long as you don't waste too much time on it, and as long as you don't use it as a replacement for approaching girls in real life, it's not a problem as such.

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    • Good points, however: I'm pretty average looking and up there age wise. The same photos I have on this site, I had on a dating site, which resulted in dating a couple of girls one of whom was model level and another was pretty hot too. It did not work out with either one unfortunately in terms of a relationship longer than 6 and 3 months respectively, but that had to do with how our personalities meshed i.e. nothing to do with the dating site and its process. So it is possible to meet someone.

  • I honestly don't think it's beneficial to either sex more than the other (if either AT ALL).

    From the girls' standpoint, the more attractive they are the more guys they have trying to message them. And when you have tons of idiots and horndogs messaging you, it's easy to be very cynical of any guy that so much as says "Hi" to you. And let's face it, online dating is a picture and a blurb about yourself, so the hook for anyone would be someone they find attractive (just as in real life).

    For guys, they all want a girl they're attracted to and end up falling into that pool of messages that I mentioned in the paragraph above. You can't get to know a girl, or even get your foot in the door with her, if she has her guard up because of all the people that contact her. As a guy on an online dating site or in real life still, it's a numbers game. This is something that at most I think girls might understand somewhat, but never truly.

    Also a point to note, I've seen friends use online dating sites a lot and have created profiles for myself to see what kind of people are on there (like an observation profile) and not insulting or talking down about anyone, but the pool of people on online dating sites leave a lot to be desired. They are chalked full of insecurities that prevent them from meeting people in person. In general, it's just a different "breed" of people and that is the part that sounds like I have a superiority complex. Seeing my friends (who have insecurities underneath that I can tell plain as day) find girls on there that have just as many insecurities or just odd behavior, I would say that anything short of solid proof would not convince me that online dating sites have an equal amount of secure, confident people on them.

    People rave all the time about how online dating sites are the new, revolutionary thing but I imagine they will maintain or even lose their luster with more time. "Many relationships start from online dating sites"...I've witnessed these relationships in my friends and other people in my life, and they aren't the healthiest and happiest relationships by far. That statement hides too much for it to be an actual positive statement.

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