How do I get my boyfriend to act how he did in the beginning of our relationship?

I have some trouble understanding my boyfriend because he seems like he's not as into me as he used to be, but I could be wrong. We have never said I love you to each other yet. However, when we first started dating he would text me all the time like in the morning good morning, at night good night, and we would have texting conversations twice a day. It gradually decreased to only one texting conversation a day closer to night time. Recently about 2 months ago I asked him if we could talk on the phone instead because its more personal. He does call me now at night time once a day and we talk for only 15 minutes usually. However, it now has gradually decreased even more that there are some days when he doesn't text me good morning at all. I have texted him first, but when I don't I expect him to. Some times he will and other times he won't. Same goes to as with the calling. There will be a day when he doesn't text or call all day and then at night Ill reply good night. I want it to go back to him texting me good morning, good night, and texting me maybe once during the day and calling at night. How can I get this to happen without me telling him to because I don't want him to do it because I tell him to I want him to talk to me because he wants to.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is completely normal. The honeymoon phase is just ending. It doesn't necessarily mean he likes you any less. It's just that he doesn't feel the need to do all those things anymore now that he doesn't have to (because you're already his girlfriend). And to be honest, texting and calling that much every day sounds boring as hell, sorry. I don't really blame the guy for not wanting to keep it up. Why don't you just meet face to face more? You said calling feels more personal. Well, guess what's even more personal! Actually meeting up! Or spending a night or two once in a while with him. That way you'll get to say good morning and good night face to face. A million times better than a dumb text message, if you ask me.

    You're reading too much into this, and putting too much weight on the relationship you two have through the PHONE. It's exhausting to always behave the same way and do the exact same things. Spice it up a little. Do other things than sit around with your face glued to your phone. :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • it is normal for a guy to lose his flirting instinct when he has accomplished his goal. Sad but true. But, you can give him some new goals. Men can be romantic too. Tickle his creative ego. Creativity and romance go well together. Send him text that does nothing to do with romance, tell him things you like that day, things you did, tell about interesting people you met...Enlarge the scene..He will again feel the need to distinguish himself.

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  • Girls always complain about this, but this is what women need to understand:

    Guys only do that stuff in the beginning so we can bed you or make you ours. We really don't care about that romantic courting crap.

    If women didn't make it such a requirement men wouldn't do it. He already got everything he wanted and is bored now. I'd say leave for a partner who actually genuinely cares.

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    • Not all guys are like this, of course. My boyfriend of 5 months still asks how I am multiple times during the day. And I don't think he's doing it just to get in my pants because I never say no when he wants sex and he still checks up on me by calling or texting.

    • 5 months is too early. I'd say your guy is still in the honeymoon phase, give it another year and a half. But I don't think your boyfriend was how I mentioned above.

  • just relax, he may be in some sort of a period...guys have periods too although they may be longer

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  • let him be who he is, he will appreciate it and will come back

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  • Make an effort to make the relationship fun, he will hopefully return the favor.

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  • You need to act how you did to him as well during the early phases of your relationship. That's how you can make him take action as well.

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    • What if I don't remember how I used to act because I don't think I'm doing anything differently though?

What Girls Said 6

  • "How can I get this to happen without me telling him to because I don't want him to do it because I tell him to I want him to talk to me because he wants to."

    Yeah it's often a problem that occurs when the relationship moves past the honeymoon stage, as other people noticed. One thing I've learned is that you can't maintain a relationship and keep it from dying if you don't communicate your needs with your SO. It's IM-PO-SSIBLE. Yeah, I know, you probably think to yourself "Well, we do talk to each other so...". Talking to each other isn't it. It comes down to finding the courage to tell your guy "Hey. I wish you would text me (or whatever) because if not, it makes me feel like ____ ". I know it's hard to say, and it feels silly to say to someone but you MUST do it if you intent on making things work long time. And you might have to do the same thing regarding multiple things that you'll care for long-term in the relationship. I know it sucks to have to say it, but I've learned along the way that expecting your boyfriend to know your needs and notice that you're discontent about something NEVER WORKS. He can't read your mind. If you feel discontent about something, it's your responsibility to share it with him. If not, you're accepting to settle for less than you wish for.

    And as far as saying I love you goes, it all depends of how long you've been together and everything. For you it might feel like a long time, if it's been 2 months for something, but in my experience, it could happen way later than that, like 4-5 months. Let's not rush things. Take them as they come and communicate with him as things go, that's it.

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  • It looks like your honeymoon phase is ending. Its a natural thing that happens in most relationships. When you're courting someone or a relationship is fresh and new, most people automatically put in a lot of effort. But that's a lot of work, and once you've secured a girl/guy, its easy to start becoming a little lazy. It doesn't mean he likes you less, only that he's more comfortable and doesn't feel like he needs to do these things to keep you.

    Nothing is going to change unless you talk to him about it, however. Someone suggested acting how you used to earlier on in the relationship. What he means is invest a little more of your time, and maybe he will start doing the same. Maybe cook him dinner, surprise him with some sexy lingerie, be a little more daring sexually (only whatever you're comfortable with), etc. Little things to make him happy, and hopefully he will start doing it too. Good luck!

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  • It's the way most guys are, unfortunately. They give you what you want in the beginning of the relationship but after a while they get bored. And trust me, you don't want to be with someone who is already bored of you after 5 months. Find a guy who will make you his world :)

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  • Break up with him so he realizes what he has, and when you take him back hopefully he appreciates you more. If it fails, and he doesn't want you back then he's not worth it and you can find someone else who is :)

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    • Well, or you could just try new things. Do things out of the ordinary so it's not repetitive rutiene that you both get comfortable with. do something different spice it up?

  • You should talk to him about how you feel.

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  • Maybe because your relationship is not as new, he might just be getting lazy. You could give a hint like saying you appreciate the small things or something of that sort.

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