I just can't let this go.. He has one big flaw. HELP ME

OK well its kind of a long story but I'm dating this guy. He's liked me a lot since I can remember for over a year at least and only did I start giving him the time of day a few months ago. So at a party he asked me out on a date and its not that I didn't like him, he had just made me really nervous and I was honestly just scared so I said "I don't know" he almost seemed mad and he kinda walked away. Literally 5 minutes after asking me out on a date he went and had sex with my "friend" in the other room. I kinda shook it off because I kinda did reject him first but I was still really hurt .the next day I was at another party and he was there too and he was hitting on me a lot and almost following me around. And the girl that he had sex with the previous night was there as well and he wasn't even looking at her... so now were dating and he seems to still really like me. But I always have it in the back of my mind that he went and had sex with this girl 5 minutes after asking me on a date and it scares me. She goes to my school and he still talks to her and he called her pretty today. He also drove her home from school with my other friend. I mean I guess you could consider this harmless behavior but its not just any girl, he had sex with her multiple times and I feel like its just inappropriate and almost disrespectful to me... I don't know what to do... do you think he still has feelings for this girl? should I talk to him about it?.. should I stop dating him? Its just always in the back of my mind how quickly he was to go ahead and have sex with another girl after basically telling me how much he likes me and wanted to date me. And even today he defends her and asks me why I'm not friends with her. I think its pretty obvious. But iim just really hurt about the whole thing so what should I do


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Voice out your concerns to him, especially since he had sex with her right after asking you out. Ask him if he honestly still has feelings for her. If he does it'd be dangerous to continue the relationship because you could just end up getting hurt and things could end very badly.

    If I were you, I wouldn't have started dating him after he did what he did because it looks like all he's interested in is sex. His doing it right after asking you out almost seems to say, "You didn't put out so I went and looked for someone who did." That being said, quite a number of guys are open to both committed relationships and friends with benefits type relationships. In that case, it could be that his way of thinking is you can have sex without feelings but if you're in a relationship it's wrong to cheat, which is why he had sex with another girl right after asking you out. It could also be that he thinks he can have sex with other women while still loving and being "committed" to you. I think it's good if you also clear up this issue and ask him what his take on it is. If you're not on the same page things could get bad.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I read your question and I'll give an honest answer (whether you want to hear it or not)

    IMO, if you haven't even had your first date with someone yet, it's not your business what he does sexuality, you have no authority on that matter, and he doesn't have any kind of obligation. If you two have been dating for a while and then he does it, big concern. But if you haven't even had a first date, no way.

    What if you ask out a guy and then first thing he does it tell you his expectations of where he wants your vagina to be and where it shouldn't be? I don't think you would like that, even if you prefer to wait for sex.

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  • Stop dating him. This will bother you for years and it's not because of the localized behavior.

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  • It's quite clear that he's not going to be faithful to you at the long term.

    You can have a relationship now, and you might just hear that he's having sex with one of your friends again.

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What Girls Said 2

  • well he did have sex 5 minutes after you rejected him but by dating him knowing that you set yourself up for his now behavior,it didn't bother you to the point where you ended up dating him anyways so he figures its a free card..in other words,u accepted that behavior so what's the big deal now...(in his mind)..u need to drop him

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    • if a guy can jump in the sack with a girl that quickly,he can not be trusted

  • ugh, men...

    okay now that I've got that out of the way...it sounds like this flaw is the same flaw most men suffer from, the inability to say no to sex, which also sums up all his feelings for your friend, she's ready and wiling and he's like a bee to a honey comb.

    Now having said that, I would not date a guy who asked me out and then had sex with my friend 5 minutes later just because I said I don't know and hurt his little pride. A guy (or girl) who handles rejection poorly is a guy or girl who is insecure and therefore unfit to be dating anyone, cause that just has drama written all over it.

    What happens if you get into a fight down the road and his pride gets hurt again? What's he gonna do to make himself feel better? and considering that your friend will still be availble at that time, it doens't look good.

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