Usually good at this but...Is he playing me or actually genuine?

I've dated this man for about 2months now. Things have been going really well. Last night we were fooling around, we are sleeping together, and he was getting text messages, several, it was midnight, I thought odd, and he got out of bed to check them. Now he got out of a relationship with a woman 12 months ago, they were together 7 years. I asked if I should bother getting emotionally invested with him, he said he didn't know just yet, that he felt he was still 'finding himself' after his last one. That he really likes me wants it to be exclusive but wasn't sure of a relationship at this stage, he said if things continue the way they are it could grow into one. But to me that just seems like he wants to keep his options open. Plus who the hell was texting him at midnight. He asked me to stay the night, I usually do but I went home, he seemed pretty upset I didn't stay. I don't know what to do... I don't want to be strung along but we do have a lot of fun together and the sex is great. But I also want to maintain his respect. He also told me that night that he had missed me for the first time, prior to the convo. I am meant to see him in a few days, I was just going to leave it and wait for him to contact me and catch up. Any advice would be appreciated.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It might not be either. He might be totally devoted and in love with your or he might be just using you for a while. More likely he is somewhere in the middle, he doesn't know where he is with you.

    When I first started going out with my current girlfriend (8 months now...) I thought it was just to be a quick purely sex thing. She came on to me, I thought she was merely OK, lets do it. She grew on me though, now I see it as something real and serious. Even if he still has doubts to do with his ex things can still change.

    Also, even if it isn't something serious...you're having fun, he's having fun. So what? There is no 'respect' for women who don't put out. You don't gain or lose any standing by going with him or not. Are you having fun? Do you like being with him? That's all that matters.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He's just playing with you. He just want to have the sex.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Hum... Well, first of all you shouldn't be thinking "of him" You should be asking yourself "what do I want" Second, him saying "I missed you" is just a typical guy move to be forgiven.. Don't buy it. When a guy says "I miss you" when there's nothing wrong, That's when its genuine. Third, did you ask who was texting him at midnight? Have you met his friends yet? Is he hiding you? Do his boys text him at midnight? Ask yourself these questions. You have enough for your own answer.

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