Girls, how can I minimize clinging?

So I've been tapping 'dat azz for the better part of a month, and this girl feels entitled to text me morning, noon, and night. She insists on holding hands whenever we're in public and becomes visibly unsettled whenever I break eye contact.

I've done absolutely nothing to indicate that I'm boyfriend material, but she seems to have no cognizance of the fact that I'm just looking for sex (not a relationship). I don't pay for her dinner; hell, I don't even take her to dinner. I just call her when I'm drunk, and she comes over; does this sound like a relationship to any of you?

So I pose the question: what is the easiest way to convey to this young woman that I'm just looking for a hook-up and nothing more? Oh, and one more thing, this obviously excludes telling her how I feel. A heart-to-heart discussion is the last thing I want.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey man,

    The problem lies with you; you have been giving her the idea that there is a relationship between the two of you.

    Yes, I know, you never told her you were her Boyfriend but you still do everything a couple does and basically treat her like your BF.

    General rules for keeping a booty call (what you want) are these:

    - Don't spend time with her if you're not getting some (or else you will start to genuinely like each others company and the relationship will grow further)

    - Don't see her more then once a week, preferably only once every 2 weeks (if you do the same with several women you'll still get laid a few times a week)

    - Don't go on dates with her (you can deny all you want but you said you are seen in public with her, which means that you kinda go on dates. The moment she is showing you off to the world it already means she's proud of you and wants to show you off as her BF. Avoid this as much as possible. If you're doing it right, nobody should know that you are sleeping with her.

    - Don't get introduced to her family and best friends, they will associate you with her as her BF. The same counts for you own family and best friends because some girls will use everyone around you to "get you". Examples are; taking your friends or family's number to hang out with them so she can get in your regular life. You don't want her hopping in your life at her will so avoid this at all cost.

    Don't give her your phone number etc either and try to only sleep over at her place.

    If you read all these common rules I've written here it should be obvious to you what you have been doing wrong and why she is trying to escalate the relationship further.

    You need to learn to keep a good distance from booty calls and not getting to deep involved with conversations etc. Keep everything superficial and don't see her as much.

    The best way to fight your urge to constantly want to see her (because you have that, because no sane guy would be sleeping with his booty call for "the better part of the month") is to date and sleep with other women on the side so you that you have a wider range of choices to choose from when you are feeling horny and can rotate your girls to optimally not seeing any of them more then once a week.

    Also, it's better to tell girls upfront what you are looking for and make them decide if they still want to go for it. Most girls will still sleep with you if you are upfront about your intentions and if their not, you're still lucky because that means you just dodged a "commitment bullet" :D

    And last; you talk in a very disrespecting tone about women you sleep with, although this might sound fun and cool it will lead to people thinking you are using them and girls will start to avoid you.

    It's better to use a manner of talking trough which it seems that she is using you or at least that the both of you have a mutual understanding and both enjoy it.

    If you talk like that, other girls will also be like "I wanna c what I'm missing out on" :D

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What Girls Said 4

  • wow! grow a F***ing pair and tell her. you all ready probably hurt her so do yourself and her a favor and don't act like a bigger ass and lie to go on with your stupid games cause your afraid you won't be able to "tap that azz" (ew! by the way). get over fear of not getting any and tell her the truth to her face. god guys can be such assholes! congrats you just made the list!

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  • Be honest and tell her that you don't want a relationship!

    If you don't want to see her cry, then text it to her. It's a cowardly act, but hey... you're already on that path, right?

    Quit leading her on... you can tell she wants a relationship with you. if you don't want it, then find someone else who doesn't mind being your f*** buddy.

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  • You probably should have had this discussion before you started tapping that azz.

    I would say that you're a jerk, but we don't really have any evidence that you're leading her on. I'm sorry but some girls make the rest of us look stupid as a whole. If you have lied to her or made it seem like you like her then you are totally wrong for that. But she sounds delusional and stupid when it comes to men to me. You don't take her to dinner and only call when you're drunk and basically put no effort in - she is stupid for thinking you like her. I know this probably goes against "girl code" or whatever but I have to be honest.

    The best thing to do would have been to have a discussion of what your relationship status would be (friends with benefits? relationship?) BEFORE you started hooking up but obviously this situation benefits you greatly and she is the one getting hurt. But the girl has to take responsibility for this too. You don't even take her on dates, why would she think you like her? Sex is sex.

    I think you should just keep it strictly sex. You have to tell her you are not interested. Why didn't you say that before? Was it because she wouldn't have gave it to you if you did? If so shame the f*** on you. You need to keep it real with her and tell her. If she cries take responsibility for it because had you not kept this charade going she would be less hurt.

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  • DOUCHE BAG!

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What Guys Said 2

  • you're a scumbag, a coward and a poser.

    if you have *any* balls at all, you'll tell this girl "I want only sex with you. that's the only thing I'm after. I don't want to be your boyfriend, I don't care about your feelings or your pet cat, I barely remember your last name." then, you'll have the balls to deal with her reaction without calling her a bitch.

    but you won't do that. why? because you're a coward.

    If you want to minimize clinging, stop screwing emotionally needy girls. there are tons of girls who'll screw your brains out and never care if they see you again. but those girls often have standards, and can probably smell your bullsh*t from a mile away.

    You've not no more right to complain about this girl's neediness than you have about the guard dog biting your ass when you ignored the ATTACK DOG sign and climbed the fence anyway. her clinging is a direct result of your actions. cause --> effect. payback's a bitch.

    And you're playing word games: any time you interact with another human, you're in a relationship with them. this includes the guy at the gas station when you say hi and talk about the weather, it includes your dad you hit him up for a loan, and it includes when you take advantage of girls who are desperate for affection. the only question is what *kind* of relationship you have, and whether or not you exhibit a shred of decency.

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    • You're the coward. You p*ssed your pants during Jurassic Park III.

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    • She is a real woman (two breasts, a vagina, etc.)

      I didn't intend to waste my time attempting to refute your comment. Most of it is true, anyway. I would never say that to her face; she would cry. I hate seeing girls cry. What they do on their own time is their business, though. I just don't like to see it.

  • LOL funny how his profile says "I'm a nice, innocent guy. "

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