Need Dating advice!! Are there expectations?

How do you know if you're in a relationship with someone? Sorry dumb question but I've never been in a relationship with someone and I've been on two dates with this guy and there's definitely going to be a 3rd. I don't know what the norm is for dating and what is considered normal on a 3rd date and when it's normal to have sex with this person. Help! Also age is 21 and I'm female haha.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Women tend to view 3rd dates very different than guys.

    Many women make up their mind about whether they would want to be in a relationship with a guy by the 3rd date, and they mistakenly assume that guys have the same perspective.

    More often than not, guys look at 3rd dates as a chance to get laid...and are not really thinking about making a personal commitment of their own. A guy can easily wait for the 3rd date, have sex with you, and then never see you again. To a guy, a woman who sleeps with him on the 3rd date isn't a whole lot different than a woman who sleeps on the 1st date.

    I'm not saying all guys are like that. I'm saying that many of the ones who are primarily in it for sex rather than a relationship are. To guys there is nothing at all special about a 3rd date beyond how the woman views it.

    The thing to realize is that guys tend to already know how they feel about a woman before they ask her out on the 1st date. Obviously, there's a lot they don't know about the woman at that point, but they've generally already thought beyond the 1st date. Regardless of how the 1st date turns out, he already knows if he will ask for a 2nd and 3rd. He knows if his main goal is to have sex or he's looking for a relationship.

    The thing to remember is that since guys have to be pro-active, they plan things in advance. They don't have the luxury of seeing how things go and making decisions later. Now as a woman, you do not need to go along with his plans. And indeed to a guy, the prospect of a relationship isn't even something to decide about until he knows that's something you want. He has a plan if you want to be in a relationship and a plan if you don't.

    For the 1st and 2nd date, he's really just concerned with making a good impression so there will be a 3rd date. He has some idea before the first two dates if commitment is even an option for him, but he's not going to consider it further until he knows what you want. The first two dates for a guy are really him learning what you want.

    By the 3rd date you can sit down and tell him what you want, and ask him what you want. There need not be any expectations, but it's a good idea to make sure you're on the same page before anything goes further.


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What Guys Said 5

  • I think a relationship starts only when you both agree not to date other people, and that requires an explicit conversation about exclusivity and expectations. I generally say I'm "dating" someone when we've been out a few times, and move on to saying I'm "seeing" someone when the dates become more frequent but exclusivity hasn't been discussed yet.

    And no, I don't "expect" sex on the third date.

  • what's normal is what you think is OK. before you have sex at least talk about sex with him or try to make the teasing and flirting a little bit sexual but still lady like

  • Not necessarily. Some guys are thinking its the third date, most women think it's more like the 5th or 7th date. It doesn't have to be anytime, if you don't want it to happen. Remember, just because a guy takes you out on a date, in a relationship or not, it doesn't mean he deserves your body. Many guys tend to think this way.

  • It can only be a relationship if both of you come into a verbal agreement that it already is.

  • I don't usually have sex for a month or so. We aren't kids anymore and ask the other person out, I would just address if you two are exclusive or not in a personal setting.


What Girls Said 1

  • DO NOT EVER assume that you are in a relationship with someone before discussing it, and do not assume he is serious just after 3 dates. Very recently I went on 6 dates with someone...i thought it was going amazing since he kept asking me he's slowly fading. I don't think I did anything wrong...I was my usual self.

    Don't have sex until you are in an exclusive relationship or you might be hurt if you have sex and assume exclusivity...

    unless you wanna have sex...then its up to you!

    Answer mine please?