I've realized that I don't make the best decisions when it comes to dating... I have a lot of issues...
I always fall super fast for guys only to be disappointed
Guys always pick other girls over me or already have a gf
I feel super defensive when I can tell a guy wants to get to know me on a deeper level
I'm sick and tired of attracting emotionally unavailable guys. I think I'm also partially unavailable, I just realized this recently. I've been in denial for a long time. So I want to take a break on dating, I always like to rush things. I'm 21. I just want a husband already so I don't have to deal with this mess. I always get caught up. I always do the wrong thing. I don't want to run away from my problems but I feel like I have no choice because I make bad judgements...
Last 3 guys I dated:
-has a girlfriend. Let him use me essentially.
-guy I REALLY liked lives in another country (I met him before) and decided one day to "date his ex again"
-is going nowhere with his life. and texts me like once every 2 weeks. pretty sure he's hiding something..
I'm so frustrated/confused/disappointed :(
Has anyone else been through this?
Most Helpful Girl
My friends and I call taking a break from dating putting ourselves in the tower (like in Rapunzel). It's not that there is absolutely no way that guys could get to us or that we become complete shrews, we just step far away enough from the dating scene that any guy who wanted us would have to work for us (which guys seems to like). Being in the tower doesn't mean that we play around with guys feelings or misrepresent where we're at emotionally, just that we're not throwing ourselves at their feet (because we're better than that).
It's my experience that the best way to attract the kind of guys that make great boyfriends is by not worrying about attracting them. First and foremost you have to put yourself in the places where the kind of guy you want to date would be found. I tend to hang out in libraries, at concerts, in bookstores because that's where my favorite guys tend to be. Beyond that when I'm in the tower I spend my time trying to become the kind of girl that the kind of guys I want would want back. I'm not saying that I change who I am. I work to become more of who I am so that they'll recognize that I'm the kind of girl they've been looking for.
Chin up Buttercup! It's going to be okay. The right guy is out there, and he'll even come looking for you in the tower if that's where you are when it's time for him to make his appearance.1