Best way to end it after the first date. Ideas?

So, here's my question. Let's say you go on a first date. It goes as planned, no problems, but you just aren't feeling the sparks. No real connection has been formed and at that point, you can't see it going on for a long time.

Would you tell her at the end that even though the date was fun, you don't want to keep it going? Or, would you give yourself more time to think and tell her later via phone.

Personally, I would want time to analyze the situation, but I don't want to come off as a coward by not telling her in person. I want to make the right choice.

I am especially interested in what the ladies have to say. If you had to be turned down, how would you want it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Call her and be honest, and I tell you this for several reasons: If you are not sure and need time to think and simply disappear, if you decide to call her again some time later, you will have lost the chace because she will be mad at you. She will have noticed you have disappeared and she will feel very rejected because she hasn´t been informed about what your feelings are about the situation.

    Call her and tell her: listen, I want to be honest with you because I don´t want to hurt you ( she will be very thankful for this, believe me), and I´m not sure if I want to date you/ have a relationship with you now etc...

    Make sure she feels free to date other guys, because it´s not fair to string someone along just because you´re not sure. Also, remeber that sometimes, love and affection grow with time and when you get to know the person.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I feel like a first date is all about figuring out whether or not something is there. I would definitely give yourself some time away from the first date to decide if you'll want another one or not in the event that your feelings about the night seem lukewarm at best. In the end though, for me, the best way for me to know that a first date was fun, but isn't going anywhere is for the guy not to ask me on a second date.

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  • Personally I would very much appreciate a frank approach. I don't like to waste my time or his.

    Just say it. There is no easy way. She can handle it.

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  • I think in the best-case scenario, you would see her a few days later in a normal setting (wherever it is that you got to know each other, like after class, at the gym, etc.) and you two might talk about it, and you could tell her in person then. If you don't regularly see each other, I'd go with the few days later by phone, that way, the date isn't a bad experience to remember, just a nice date that didn't quite work out afterwards.

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  • tell her straight up, you weren't feeling no sparks. no need to make this girl feel all fancy pancy when you don't give a true f***.

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  • If you weren't feeling it, I'd suggest that she wasn't either.

    I wouldn't think too much about it, she's probably talking to other guys already and hoping you feel the same!

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  • I would rather someone told me straight!

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  • you really have no need to verbalize... your actions are way better than words!

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  • I've had a guy from pof that I met later say "See you around". But ofcourse I wasn't feeling it either. Then another guy from pof that I met for a date, texted me later "so Jenna?" "guess not:p" when I didn't reply. He was such a jerk on the date and told me "I should consider other offers when I told him some creepers story on pof.

    Basically just say hey I had a good time but I think we could become good friends/or just friends.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I think few hours wouldn't really tell you a lot. Because in many cases people are not them self's when they go out on a first date, so you can't actually say that this is a bad or a wrong person, because you saw them but NOT them, nobody will tell you who she or he is and what drives them and why they are in whatever position they are at first date. I would say to you give your self and her at least a week of time to see how things ACTUALLY are, then you can decide.

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  • I feel like if the first date went well then you should know whether or not you want to see her again by the time the date is over. If you have to go home and think about it, that's not a good sign and I'd guess that 9 times out of 10 you won't want the second date after thinking more about it. Go ahead and tell her when you drop her off. Chances are she's not expecting another date either.

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  • Make appropriately vague plans that you will contact her, and if you don't change your mind, just don't.

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  • I want it to be outright.

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  • if the date doesn't end with sex it's a failure.

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