I used to be very shy, and then came out of my shell and made friends (grade 9 and beyond).
Now I'm done college but still have not had my first kiss! I'm 22.
However it wasn't until I got to college that I actually hugged a guy for the first time so sad.
Then, I wondered how to make guy friends, would blush while talking to guys I didn't even like! I'm Indian but born and brought up in Western society. However my parents were very strict and I think that has something to do with my lack of flirtation and interaction permitted with the opposite sex.
Anyways, I forced myself into uncomfortable situations and eventually learned now after 2 years how to become friends with guys and not be all weird/shy/awkward although it happens from time to time still. College guys pretty much rejected me romantically I think as no one ever made a move, except for one guy who I really didn't like.
Last year I went on pof, got like 3 first dates all guys were not my race. Mostly like non-Indian or white guys. These guys I wasn't really interested in after I saw them/got to know them and they didn't feel the same way as I never head back from them and one was a real jerk during the first date I really had.
Now I'm trying to read dating tips more frequently online...
my plan is 1) stop acting like a bitch/ignore guys I find attractive, as they've rejected me but need to stop feeling so bad and reject another guy if he likes me or not...but don't be rude is the motto.
2) try to increase my circle of guys I know (try to be more social somehow even though college is over) ANY IDEAS OF HOW TO GO ABOUT THIS?
3) Try to get my first kiss at club or somewhere lol I need this money off my back seriously, I feel lost. Any advice?
4) Loose weight! I'm current 175 lbs and have a medical condition which I'm monitoring but its hard for me to loose weight. I look like a size 8 because I'm 5 feet 7 and girlfriends say I look around 150 lbs. However I want to loose 30 lbs, that way I'll look around 135 lbs.
Guys I find attractive seem to like skinnier girls, so if I need to get to my "target market" I have to tweak the product I'm selling lol
Anyways, what do you guys think of my plan... I know its long but any comments/advice/tips etc. would help!
Most Helpful Guy
So I agree with #1 and #4.
#1 is very important because of karma. You want to protect yourself from jerks, but at the same time, you don't want to be a jerk. What happens is a bunch of guys are jerks to you, so you act like a jerk to the one nice guy who isn't. Don't let this happen. You don't have to be a push-over or go along with a guy's plans, but don't be rude either.
Be suspicious of what guys want, but humble and not rude. Also, don't completely ignore your parents wisdom.
As for #4, it is a reality that thinner is more attractive, but don't obsess over looking exactly a certain way. This isn't the only important thing.
At 5'7" you are also on the taller side for an Indian girl, so that stood out to me. You are average for a white girl, but tall for an Indian girl. This could work in your favor if you market yourself the right way. But you need to be aware that most non-Indian guys who think about Indian girls will presume they are very short.
One of the biggest issues for you is that you straddle two different cultures. Guys will either see you as Indian or Western, when in reality you are both. Some nice guys may hesitate to get involved because they will assume your upbringing means that you could only ever be with an Indian guy raised the same way. Other Indian guys may similarly reject you because you are too Western.
Try to be as upfront with guys as possible about your expectations. That will help.0