Do you ever date someone even though you like someone else?

This girl used to hook up with this guy. It ended up causing a lot of problems between them because I think he was getting attached. She avoided him for a few months.

She's always seemed interested in me. She would rub my arm and tell me I should come over more often (she lived with one of my best friends) and things like that. I was interested, but I didn't really think of her as someone I'd date.

At the end of March, there was a case race. She was trying to get me on her team, but I had already told my friend I'd be on a team with him and she didn't have room for both of us. I ended up bringing a girl (apparently it's well-known that we had a thing last year, but now we're just friends). The first girl ended up hooking up with that one guy that night.

So I just assumed they started hooking up again. A few weeks ago I started looking at her differently. I was getting ready to ask her out when I realized that she is actually dating that guy. I've never seen them hold hands or get cuddly together. He'll just start getting frisky with her and she'll get frisky back, so I don't know how serious they are.

So basically, is it possible that she's still into me even though she's dating this guy?

Updates:
So the reason why I didn't ask her out was that she is 5 years younger than me. I'm already 2 years out of college (well, at least my first degree) and she just graduated from high school last year. She seemed mature for her age, but she would still have those fresh-out-of-high-school moments. But now I feel like over the last year she's grown up a lot and it seems like we'd be able to connect better, so I've just recently thought of her as girlfriend material.
Also, it may be relavent that the guy she's dating is a year or two older than me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I dated a guy I wasn't really into while I was really into another guy. We'll call the guy I dated Aaron and the guy I really liked Bryan.



    I think Aaron and I were on the same page when it came to us dating- neither of us was that serious about it, but we enjoyed each others' company and had a mutual attraction we acted on. We were never touchy feely or cuddly and we definitely didn't do any of the cute stuff couples normally do. It was just a very casual, laid back thing that never went anywhere and I don't think either of us wanted it to go beyond what it was.

    During this time I was extremely into Bryan- a friend of mine who I spent a whole lot of time hanging out with almost every week. We were affectionate with each other and at times acted more like a couple than Aaron and I did. Bryan knew about the Aaron thing, we even talked about it, but it never stopped us from sitting on his patio and talking for hours. I was totally infatuated with him...

    So- if I liked Bryan so much, why did I date Aaron? Well, because while Bryan and I hung out a lot and he generally seemed to care about me, he was also in a phase of dating a lot of girls- probably like 2 a month. I wasn't interested in being one of the many and I was kind of afraid of risking what we had if it was only an experiment for him. And, I'll admit, in some ways I guess I hoped he might get a little jealous of Aaron.

    Of course, Bryan knew me too well for that (he still does) and he knew I wasn't serious about Aaron. He pretty much just waited until the thing with Aaron ended completely, then he invited me over one night to hang out and told me he liked me, had just been waiting to be sure he was completely over his ex before he asked me out because he didn't want me to be a rebound, I meant more to him than that. And that pretty much sealed it for me- how do you say no to that, especially when you like the person to begin with? We've been together for 2 years now...

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What Girls Said 7

  • She keeps waiting for you.. but you don't make a move. She either got tired of waiting, and moved on.. or she's with him for now, until you show interest. My advice is don't step up to her now, since she can easily say "Times up, I'm with someone new" But you should find out how serious they are right now. So ask. If she says "Oh, its nothing." Then that's your opening for "Drop this loser, and get with me"

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  • I've dated guys I wasn't super interested in...

    I've dated guys, while wishing I was dating someone else..

    But.. it's always messy...

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  • love is diffrent form like but no boy what's going on in your mine if you like some one you have to go to them (mostly if you are a boy ) if some one who you like has a boyfriend or a girl friend then you have to date or if you are brave go and talk to her.She wased to like you but she was to scaryed to tell you well you were to stuid to realize that she like you.You liked her to in side but you didn't know it. But you didn't really think of her as someone I'd date. later you was starting to know form you heart and mind that you liked her. than you almost asked her out but she was dating someone else.The thing that is wrong here is you you were to stupid to think about her heart it was all about you and your best friend.And yes she is into you even through she is dating the other "guy".sometimes girls try to make you jelous so just go and talk to her at her house. girls are so confusing like guys.but just go and talk to her and ask her out and tell her that you like her if she still into you she will tell the truth

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  • Yes, I have been doing this since last year.

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  • yea because I knew I couldn't be with the other guy.

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  • I started dating guy 2 even though I wasn't over guy 1. Guy one and I had a thing for over a year but he just wouldn't commit to a relationship and I couldn't let go of him.

    Luckily, I did and agreed to date guy 2...we've now been together for a year and I couldn't be happier.

    It's hard to say where she stands with you now, but she was obviously interested before. That usually doesn't go away that fast. It also depends on how serious they are. Are they dating as in just literally dating or are they exclusive? If it's the latter, you're best to move on.

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    • @update: If you feel like the age isn't a factor, then go for it. A lot of girls I know date guys that are a good bit older than them, including myself. When I was 21, I dated a guy that was 30. Now, I'm dating a guy 7 years my senior. Plus, the older you get the less it seems to matter, really.

  • it's possible but she just sounds like a flirt, not sure if she's sincerely into you

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What Guys Said 2

  • Basically, it is possible, but I am not saying that is a good thing. You have to ask yourself if you really want to be with a girl who would hook up with some other guy while she is into you. I think it says something about how much she truly likes you and it is not positive.

    I don't think girls would want to hook up with other guys if they are really into one guy.

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    • The younger girl will date others, not knowing that it's affecting the prospect of the real guy she's waiting for, psychologically. An older lady already knows this, and will patiently wait for the guy she still has hopes for.

  • I have, because the one I liked wasn't interested, so I moved on to the next prospect.

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