or do you feel that way at least?do you feel bad about hanging out with guys of the opposite sex that you were/are attracted to?
Most Helpful Guy
It depends. This is not a black and white answer.
There is an ediquette in terms of what is appropriate and not appropriate when you are in a relationship and dealing with the opposite sex. Some things I don't think are appropriate are.
1. Having out 1v1 on a regular basis. 1v1 is OK hear and there, but it becomes quite common, its not going to look good to your SO so out of respect you best not do this.
2. texting/calling all the time. Again, you can text and call your opposite sex friends, but if you find yourself doing it excessively and more than with your SO, then its a problem.
3. Spending the night, is just not OK unless there are other people involved (like a party).
4. Doing activities that would be perceived as a date, like going to the movies, getting dinner, going to a wedding, etc. Obviously I'm talking about one on one and not in a group.
5. Any type of flirting. If things stay very platonic then usually your OK, but if you start getting flirtatious and sexual, its not right or fair to your partner, regardless of your intentions.
6. Hanging out with your friend too often. The general rule of thumb is that your SO should be your best friend (at least of the opposite gender). If you are spending more time with another girl than your GF, then you've crossed the line for sure.
7. Having an account on an online dating site. I don't think I have to explain this one.
What you have to realize is that your interactions with people of the opposite sex, when you are in a relationship, isn't about intentions or even the actual act. It's about how its perceived by your partner. It's simply respectful to not do things to your partner that will toy with them emotionally. You might have just wanted to check out that new movie with your best opposite gender friend, but that's not what its going to look like to your SO which will cause them to worry, distrust you, feel betrayed, etc. Not feelings you want to bring upon someone you care about.
Obviously there is a point where a person can be over the top and controlling, but I find that in most instances where there is relationship drama caused by one person have an opposite gender friend, its typically the person with the friend who is crossing the line and rarely their partner having unrealistic expectations.1