BJ on 1st Date Is It Too Much To Give Or No?

I want to know if me and this guy already are a couple, even though we never went for a date yet (we planned but due to some circumstances we couldn't meet). But we already exchanged picture and all and we like each other a lot, so he sort of took me as his girlfriend already, even though I keep saying I will let him know the answer after the 1st date. So if during the 1st date, things escalated quickly, is it too much if I give him a BJ? (we have a really high sexual tension between us)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Despite what's often said about 'giving it up' too quickly, I really think that having sexual contact early won't drive a guy away.

    I think some girls feel that they don't have much to offer other than sex, and therefore they have sex early in the relationship. But those girls would drive the guy away even if they never gave the guy sex. Many girls are confused on this point, and that's where the myth came from that a girl shouldn't give a guy sex too early.

    In my opinion, if you have a lot to offer (such as personality, intelligence) not just sex, having sex with a guy early isn't going to drive him away. As I said, if you don't have a lot to offer, he'll get bored of you anyway.

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    • Couldn't agree more of what you said, I just keep wondering why all this issues about not giving him sex on 1st date. I was that girl before until I had sex on 1st date with my previous ex, and with my ex before than I went overnight at his place on 2nd date, and they both stayed until I called it off! And up to today, one of the guy keeps coming back, not giving up on me. So clearly it has nothing to do about you sexing them up early isn't it?

    • Yeah, exactly.

What Guys Said 5

  • This is incorrect: I will judge you for that. This whole "BJ on the first date" requires things like how long you have known the person, whether or not you enter with the mentality of doing this, what you want your first impression to be, etc. If you have all of these answers then go ahead. Odds are you don't.

    I would not recommend, esp. on a 1st date, throwing your first impression to the wind and rolling with it. I mean if it's clearly a scenario for mutual pleasure, fine, but uh if it's not and you're just sucking a penis in a car seat to prove you're really "freaky" you might gain or lose points. Especially with the whole "I want to know". You to do not test by sucking a penis. This is a horrible test.

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    • Well, I am not really sure what are you trying to say but we both enter the relationship with a really high sexual desires over one another. I'm trying to keep it slow like no sex, but guy keeps persuading me to give bj to at least cool him down (he's afraid he can't stand it). I'm more than willing to do it, as I'm as horny as he is, but I just think that is it appropriate on the 1st date? Or should I just endure and drag it longer? But what's the point?

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    • That just means you passed your previous test. Well if it's been a whole month I think I'll let you decide. Ain't nothin' I'm sayin' gonna leak through that. As for why I answer harshly: I'm not.

    • there you go again naming it as a test, I honestly believe either you got dumped by your ex girlfriend or being fooled in a similar way by a girl, or else what could explain your anger? Just bear in mind not all girls on GAG are your ex. So confront her instead of taking it out on people on GAG, that's of course if you're man enough

  • Na I slept with plenty of people on our first date

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  • Do what's natural for you.

    Having any sort of sexual encounter on a first date is not a bad thing. It's only perceived as bad because society has established such action as "slutty" or "whoreish" which is not true at all.

    Were supposed to have sex, why do you think there are 7 Billion people in this world and counting?

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  • Are you kidding me?

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  • You know, there are still people out there who think kissing is too much for a first date.

    Is this a hook-up or a date?

    Remember that you don't need to give a guy anything sexual on a first date. That's not something you owe a guy.

    Also, he can't commit to you until you commit to him. Doesn't matter what he's said about how he feels about you. It doesn't work that way. You both need to commit to each other at the same time.

    So if you told him you won't decide if you're his girlfriend until after the first date, then he won't decide about being your boyfriend until he knows that's what you want.

    If the two of you have sex before you've decided, then that is a hook-up by definition.

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    • it's a date, not a hook up, we met for the 1st date, he agreed to only kiss me not even to touch me even though he's super horny, in the end that's really all what he did. I have a great time though :)... I had a long talk with him last night, he's not persuading me for anything, he said he will as how it will be comfortable with me, which is great I think?

    • yep sounds good...just take it at your pace

What Girls Said 3

  • Personally, I think that its too soon to give someone sexual pleasure on the first date. Maybe you should try it on the next couple of dates. That way you know what type of person he is and that way you can see if he's a h*e or not. Because what if girls he's went out in the past did the same thing? Also, if you do it you don't want him to think anything bad about you.

    But if you can't wait it out and you feel that it is in the right moment, then by all means do it :)

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  • I really don't think giving him that on a 1st date is a good idea, but other things should be taken into account: how long have you spoken with this person before you were going on a date with the person?, how comfortable you feel around this person & how much you trust this person?, Do you genuinely feel that you're ready to do this and/or do you just feel that you have to so he'll know that you two are now a couple?,How much would you regret giving him a BJ?, etc.

    In relationships, know that you don't have to rush into anything. If you feel pressured to do something, you shouldn't just do it. Sometimes people do crazy or wild things in the heat of the moment or when not in the right state of mind and then regret things later.

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  • By all means, if you want to do it, it's your choice. No one's going to judge you for that.

    it just depends on the heat of the moment.

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