Did I ruin it and now he lost interest ?

Long but please read as every part is important to the story. Just to mention were both in our twenties.

So I met this guy through fb from mutual friends. In the beginning we would like each others pictures untill he messaged me. That moved towards text. We then agreed to meet. When we were together it was a bit of silence as I would describe him as a little cold in general but we decided to get some drinks. I got a little buzzed but by then the conversations were more free and I didn't feel as nervous. We decided to leave the bar but I still wanted to spend time with him so I initiate to go to his place. I know I didn't want to have sex but of course we were in his room kissing that led to touching but I said I didn't want to. He said he wasent trying to but that it was okay. So we cuddled and kept kissing and just fell asleep together. When I left he told me to text him when I got home but I didn't. Few hours later he asked me I got home okay I replied yeah thnx. He wrote me again we made small talk. Next day another hello, I replied. No text. Later that week I went out with friends and got beyond drunk. So I called him like 7 times. I had woken him up, I needed him to get in contact with one of my friends to come pick me up. He said hell try. Then texted me saying he couldn't get in contact to just text him because he had work in a few hrs. Later that day after waking up from a hangover. I texted him apologizing for calling that many times and being a bother as I was drunk and just really needed to get in contact with that friend. He said it was okay are you good. I replied yeah I'm okay. Again no reply. I waited three days and texted him still no reply. I know and I know I really messed up with the drunk dialing I regret it now that I know I did it. I feel super embarrassed as I feel like I have been giving the wrong impression. I feel like I ruined my chances and he thinks I'm a drunk or clingy which I'm far from. And ever since the cuddling that's where feelings came up because to me it was more intimate cuddling as if we were a couple, I never experienced that. Will I hear from him or should I stop thinking about him ? I just wonder if he ever liked me in the first place, I feel super clueless.

Btw I did ask him what he was looking for he said he wasent looking for a relationship but if it happened then it happens.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're lucky he isn't a scumbag or anything as you've set up yourself perfectly for a pump and dump.

    "Sorry baby I've tried I've really tried but you have to get your drinking problem under control before you have a relationship with me or anyone" - a player would say (and be right - the caveat being he'd say it after using you)

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What Guys Said 2

  • the time you went to his place and then went home not texting him even after he asked to do so and replying with one word or two that's being cold and if I were him I would think why she is acting like that. he may have got a wrong impression on you that you are not happy for what you did at his place or something.

    drinking and calling him, I don't think that's a drawback. he didn't answer at least the 1st time you rang, which means he was really busy at work or he is ignoring you or both

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    • Yeah I noticed the cold reply too but to be honest I just felt weird afterward. Your right I wasn't too happy. We still had polite conversation later that day through texting though. You really don't think it was the drunk calling ? He wasn't picking up because he was sleeping. These calls were being made around 6 am. I'd thought that would really turn a guy off.

    • i'm pretty sure it's not because of the calls. personally I like my girl to wake me up :D even if you think he got pissed because you called early in the morning he could have switched off the phone. but he didn't.

      if he is OK with you drinking then calling him in the morning can't be the problem :)

  • You didn't ruin it

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What Girls Said 3

  • He seems like a decent guy who just got too far into something when he shouldn't have. If he said he wasn't looking for something he probably isn't. I would try giving him some space, (a few weeks of little to no contact), then hit him up again and see how it goes, or doesn't. You should get your answer judging by his response.

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    • I agree but you don't think he'll think that I'm being clingy or desperate because if I do write him in a few weeks that would be my second message. I just hate looking like a sucker or needy.

  • He obviously isn't & was never interested in a relationship. He's just a good cuddler. I don't think there was anything to ruin in the first place

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  • I think your short replies to the texts might have made him think that you aren't interested. I mean, you said he didn't reply, but your replies didn't really leave rooms for him to reply. His messages might be short, but they are always questions that are supposed to start a conversation, but your "yeah thnx" and "yeah I'm okay"? How is he supposed to continue the conversation without looking too clingy by keep asking you other questions?

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