Hi! I recently started online dating (again) because I don't meet peope at school or work. Does anyone have any tips? The main problem I have is that some guys (who want kids) keep messaging me, when I don't want biological kids myself (I'm OK with my partner having a previous relationship's kid or two though).
Most Helpful Guy
1) The most important part of your profile is your photos.
I know this sounds superficial, because it is. You need to weed through the wrong guys as fast as possible so post something that's recent, but that's the BEST you. Even if you have to have a friend take some profile photos of you until you find that puts you in your best light.
2) In your profile you should make it pretty clear what YOU'RE looking for in a relationship. Don't waste any time trying to sell yourself because it'll come across as needy or insecure. So if you don't want kids be up front about it in your profile.
3) Try to express your personality in your profile. The more playful and fun you SOUND the more guys will want to contact you. Obviously avoid anything sexual or angry sounding.
4) It's okay to contact guys first, even if it means you get "rejected" by them. Sitting around hoping the right guy will contact you is a really passive approach. Men usually face the pain of rejection in the bars and clubs, but online rejection is pretty harmless. If someone doesn't write back then who cares, right? You might have wasted 5 minutes writing an email, that's it!
Sometimes you have to go after what you want.
5) Don't ignore Red Flags in his profile and emails to you. This is the most often reason online dating goes wrong... agreeing to meet someone that already sounds wrong. If they sound awkward online they'll likely be way worse in person, so skip them asap.
6) Make it fun. If you find it stressful or overwhelming then you're doing it wrong. It's easy to become WAY TOO invested in online dating when it doesn't need to be. Instead try to see it as a fun hobby while you're busy keeping your real life busy and social and fun! This way you'll bring relaxed version of yourself to the emails you write and the dates you meet.
7) When in doubt ask a female friend for advice. They will have the perspective you might be missing.
Good luck and have FUN!
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