Do you think dating advice books are any good? Does anyone know any written for women, by men

I'm not sure why, but dating is really hard for me. I'm reasonably attractive and smart, I talk to people,like watching and playing sports but guys just aren't interested.

I'm 20 now and never had a boyfriend, so I was thinking of buying one of those dating advice/self help books. But there are tons of them, it's hard to filter out the good ones.Also most seem to be written by women and I'm not sure but I think men would get better advice there.

I borrowed steve harveys "act like a lady, think like a man" from a friend and I guess it had some valid points but a lot of the advice was obviously for girls older than me. Like when to introduce your children


Most Helpful Guy

  • The problem with using dating advice books are that it is aimed at people who do not have any luck or success in the dating game. The reason these people are not doing well with dating is that they lack the skills, or dare I say personality, to be able to get a date in the first place.

    The problem here is that these kind of books force a person to change themselves in order to make themselves more attractive to the opposite gender. I don't know about you but I don't want to change myself drastically just to be more successful with the opposite gender. You're putting on act and being fake, and the guys/girls you are attracting will not be attracted to the real you.

    It's a lose-lose situation. You're paying for books which tell you that being yourself and being true to who you are is the reason you are not successful with dating. It also ends up with you dating the wrong kind of person for you. You think this person is attracted to you but they're not. They're attracted to the person that you're trying to be. So even they, as well as you, will be disappointed once the chemistry is gone and you find yourselves drifting apart and losing contact with each other. And that WILL happen. There's only so long this particular charade can go on for.


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Guys Said 4

  • They are all written by people who really have a good time in the dating 'game.'

    The problem? People looking for advice are NOT having a good time in the dating game!

    The advice is never aimed at the people who are looking for it..but at people who already are having a good time, and just want pointers on doing evgen better.

    Mostly, they don't need that advice; if they've got the game figured out, they can also figure their way past problems they find.

    Almost all the people I know who read such books, already have all the dates and attention they want. They just want MORE!\

    • so you think I wouldn't get anything out of it?

    • Show All
    • An older friend? Someone you work with, a religious person, aunt, uncle, grandparent?

      The last choice here would be a professional relationship counselor. A personal friend/relatie would be better for this situation.

      Yes, I agree, probably your mom would be TOO close, but maybe she could recommend someone to you.

    • Good luck..Best Answer?

  • Don't know how much reading a book will help, but go out and practice just chatting with people and improving your social skills.

  • I'ts always good as a guideline when you're tight.

  • Guys can give you all the great advice in the world - but girls won't take that advice because they are too scared.

    Too scared to look too desperate, too scared of rejection, too scared of what other people might say...


What Girls Said 2

  • I've only read a couple by women and I don't think they were that useful. They obviously write from the perspective of what worked for them and some of their advice just seemed silly or plain manipulative.

    As far as men, the only other one I've heard of is Matthew Hussey. He has a few videos on YouTube and I thought those were more useful than the stuff I read. And I believe he has a book that you can check out.

  • It's good for the author :)

    His or her bank account shall increase in abundance :D