Should I tell my friend the truth?

We met these guys who got our numbers and said we'd tell each other if they texted either of us. None of them texted her but both of them texted me. And I actually really like one of them. Should I tell her that one texted me? Or should I try to avoid hurting her feelings and just say he texted me insisting he wanted to hang out with BOTH of us again?


0|1
6|7

Most Helpful Guy

  • Lies are not good for a friendship.

    And she doesn't 'own' this guy. If she's a true friend, she'll understand if you want to go for him.

    Does your friend only like this guy you like, or does she also like the other guy? If she likes the other guy, why not text that other guy and say something like, "You're a great guy, but I actually think you'd be a better fit for my friend". Or something like that. If you can do it tactfully, why not? Maybe that other guy liked both of you but didn't want to be rude by texting you both at the same time, so he flipped a coin or whatever. You never know.

    1|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 6

  • I don't think it's good to lie to your friends. These are just guys you met casually, and if they're like most guys, they'll text the blond first.

    Not much depth in these guys, you know? I doubt your friend will be too anguished about it,.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Hahahah why would they text the blond first what?

    • Most guys have a blond woman fetish to some degree. Why, I don't know. Maybe the film industry and the blond bombshells of decades ago. So many guys' fathers have pin ups of Marilyn Monroe, and even the young guys have that tendency. I think every brunette woman knows this, and just dismisses guys who automatically go for the blondes.

  • I'd say that if you don't tell her about the one guy you really like at least, she will eventually find out. Maybe eventually you and this guy will be really close and he'll come with you somewhere and either you'll see her somewhere accidentally or you'll think it has been a long enough time that if the three of you hang out, she won't care. But trust me, she'll care. Okay, I don't know her. But still, keeping secrets from a good friend will only end up ruining the friendship in the end.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its eventually going to come out. These things have a habit of coming out. Simply be honest, tell her everything. That both guys texted me and I actually like one of the guys. And I want to go out with him or at least hang out with him. As a friend she should understand that. Of course naturally she might feel rejected, but you being her close friend would know how to talk to her, and how to put it to her.

    You wouln't have to lose her because you guys aren't competing for the same guy. They only made contact with you. It'll be even more upsetting if you tell her they want to hang out with both of us and she finds out it wasn't true. So be honest from the start IMO. Simply tell her the whole thing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If I was you and it was my friend id tell him, a true friend wouldn't care and would be happy for you. So id tell her !

    0|0
    0|0
  • Be honest with her. Isn't your loyalty to your friend, not some random stranger?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes, tell him.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 6

  • I would just be upfront that they texted you and tell her you're interested in one of them. She might have hurt feelings by this but if she reacts badly (like being angry at you over it) then I'd question the friendship anyway. Its one thing to be insecure but she can't realistically blame you for being you and getting texted by them because they are interested in you. Everyone likes different things and there are plenty other guys in the world.

    4|1
    0|1
  • I think you need to think about your friendship. You should NEVER choose a guy over your best friend. What if you started dating him and then it didn't work out? Then you lost a guy and your friend!

    From personal experience, I liked a guy my friend liked, never told her, he ended up liking me back, and we starting seeing each other. Needless to say, she was really hurt that I: A) Never told her that I liked him and B) that I was secretive. She didn't speak to me for a year.

    If your friendship is strong and want to keep your friendship will her: TELL HER. Maybe those guys texted her too and she didn't want to say anything to you either.

    It's always best to be upfront and honest. The saying "Secret secrets are no fun, secrets secrets hurt someone" could happen here.

    Say something like this:

    "Listen, I know this may make you upset and I'm really sorry, but both of the guys texted me. And I kind of like one of them"

    Don't lie and say that he wanted to hang out with both of you.

    You could see if the guy wants to hang out with you both or just say that both you and your friend is coming to hang out.

    Hope this helps.

    2|2
    2|0
  • Tell her.

    1: She is your friend and lying to her will hurt her more.

    2: What if you and this guy want to become more?

    3: Maybe she isn't telling you for the same reasons you are thinking of not telling her.

    1|2
    1|1
  • tell her the truth, if not she will feel stupid and betrayed if she learns the truth.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Don't lie about but don't tell the truth either

    0|0
    1|0
  • whatever. is she really that emotionally unstable that she can't handle the truth?... there will be more guys, can't win em all.. Don't lie... its just not worth it. Save lies for important stuff!

    2|0
    1|0
Loading...