Does he just want the goods? Lol

So I'm 16 and this guy that I live by told me that he likes me. After he told me this we text All the time !But one time we were texting and he said "what's the farthest you've gone with a guy" and I answer "just kissing" and then he asked me "have you ever sent nudes" and I said "no" and now he texts me less than he used too. Also He usually sits with this one girl on the bus and she likes him and she always sits on his lap and touches him a lot and he doesn't seem to mind. But he tells me that he doesn't like her. One day before these texts,he asked me too sit with him on the bus(the other girl wasn't there) and he kept like poking me in the stomach and staring at me and stuff. The day after he told me he likes me ,we were on the bus and the other girl got on and he wouldn't let her sit with him. But I don't know how to explain but I think he just wants"stuff" from me and doesn't really like me.But I don't know cause he is really sweet to me and I already told him that I wasn't gonna do anything with hi but he stills texts me and talks to me so I just don't know , do you think he really likes me ? Should I play hard to get and not text him and not text him back for a little bit and see what happens ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • LOL, yeah. I don't even ask girls for nudes.

    For me there is a big difference between liking a girl and getting some. He's trying to confuse you saying he "likes" you. What he is really saying is "You look like a fine specimen to satisfy my penis". For instance, there is this one girl I actually like. I think she is very pretty, has beautiful eyes, an adorable personality, etc. I don't think sexually about her, just mostly about holding her hand. Sadly I wasn't successful with her because she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. Now, I am with a different girl, but I don't like her. She and I aren't dating, don't like each other and don't do romantic stuff. However, we both touch and rub each other sexually A LOT. We are playmates. I have testosterone to get rid of and she is constantly horny. We actually bypassed 1st base and went straight to 2nd and 3rd. (No home plate though, I don't want to be a daddy).

    My advice isn't to play hard to get but to watch for signs of romance. Does he try to hug or hold your hand or instead try to touch your thigh? Does he compliment your eyes or smile or does he compliment your figure? Are his compliments genuine or simple trying to point out every single thing he can to try and make you like him more?

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What Guys Said 3

  • Mlle.

    You should let him know you like him, but don't let him take advatange of you. Remember, you are the Lady.

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  • Yes, just the goods.

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  • (face . . . motherf*cking . . . palm)

    I really don't even know where to begin. I think I need a minute to let my brain cells regenerate after reading that.

    I hope you can see the difference between:

    - WANTING "the goods"



    and,

    - WANTING ONLY "the goods"

    or,

    - WANTING "the goods" ONLY

    or,

    - WANTING JUST "the goods"

    Some quick grammar on the last one. Do you see the difference between "just wanting the goods" and "wanting just the goods"? The first one means that he "only wants" the goods; that's the only thought or motivation in his mind WITH RESPECT TO "the goods." The second one means that he wants "only the goods"; as in, he wants NOTHING ELSE BUT (EXCEPT FOR) "the goods."

    The two are not the same.

    Yes, heterosexual men want sex with women. Yes, heterosexual boys want sex with women. That much is true.

    Can you infer, from those two truisms, that men or boys want sex "with YOU"? No. Can you infer, from those two truisms, that men or boys want "ONLY SEX" and "NOTHING ELSE"? No.

    So, don't "conflate" the two.

    With that in mind, consider the possibilities:

    You think: he wants ONLY sex . . . and NOTHING ELSE

    He actually: wants sex . . . along with other aspects of a relationship

    You: don't have sex . . . and wait for him to do other stuff

    He: gets frustrated because he really wants to have sex, like a puppy that really wants to play, loses interest in you, and moves on

    You think: that was close, thank God I didn't waste my time with someone who was only interested in just sex and nothing else

    He thinks: that was close, thank God I didn't waste my time with someone who clearly has either a low or no sex drive, that would have been a nightmare, I would have ended up like one of those guys trapped in a sexless marriage

    That kind of "error" is called a "wrongful rejection." But there's another kind of error too.

    You think: obviously he wants sex . . . but that doesn't mean he wants "just sex" and nothing else.

    He actually: wants only sex . . . and nothing else

    You: have sex . . . and wait for him to do other stuff

    He: doesn't really do other stuff following the sex, but instead just leaves after the sex

    You think: OMG, I feel so hurt, I feel so used, I can't believe I fell for that, how could I be so stupid?!?

    He thinks: LMAO, wow, I can't believe she actually thought I wanted more than just sex.

    That kind of "error" is called a "wrongful acceptance."

    As you can see, there's an inherent conflict (tension) between which kind of "risk" of error you want to expose yourself too. If you want to be conservative and not risk a "wrongful acceptance," you will run into "wrongful rejection" errors and shut-out otherwise great guys and relationships. If you can tolerate being more risky and having some "wrongful acceptances," yes, you will get hurt, but you'll also less likely "wrongfully reject" an otherwise great guy and relationship.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Sweet girl, if he was texting you more before you told him that you won't do anything sexual and suddenly switched up, there goes your answer right there. He wants lust not commitment which is understandable due to the age you guys are. Don't feel bad though, he won't matter in 3 to 6 months if that.

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