Can this guy be trusted? And is he leading me on?

I met a guy online two months ago. Went out 5 dates. Did become intimate the last two meetings. He seems very into me. The only issue is not much contact between dates..last few times, we did have a bit more phone conversation. And it seems like we are getting to know each other a bit more slowly.

Big red flag...he is a businessman and often travels a lot. So the last time he promised he would call once he returns and did straight from the airport (I heard all the a/p noise) and saying he wants to catch up once he returns in two weeks. We had a good conversation, him asking about my days and stuff...and him telling me his updates as well as teasing a bit.

He is gone for two weeks, I emailed him last week, no reply. He will be back next two days.

I am wondering if he is just playing with me...or leading me on. Last time he went away for 10 days, we had a few email contact.

At this point, we are not in the Skype committed relationship yet...its rather early in the dating timing. I am letting him lead and don't want to seem pushy.

Well, I became insecure due to no email respond, so I checked and found he had an old closed online account from my city. He has only been in my city a few months and told me he is new to the online dating thing. Is this guy worth trusting?

At this point he has not done anything that would make me think otherwise aside from the closed dating account, however, if one wish to hide something its rather easy.

Also, everything seem too good to be true like, he is a very gentleman and very attentive to me while on a date.

Any insight would greatly appreciated.

Updates:
i text him to say hi, he called back and was in airport lol...he wanted to phone me tomorrow to chat more and want to see me next week when he gets back... :)


so far so good I guess he is genuinely busy..


thank you all for helping.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think he's necessarily doing anything malicious, but I don't think he's fully invested in progressing this relationship either. He enjoys talking to you and seeing you when he's around, and when he's not, he's focused on other things. He may not be interested in a relationship right now in general. I would advise that you take a big step back once you start feeling insecure the way you are now. It will help you to rebuild the trust issues you have with relationships, and it will also help you weed out the guys who are no good. Sometimes, there is a very good reason you are sensing you can't trust him, even if there is concrete evidence not to.

    Start thinking of yourself as a hot commodity. Don't waste time on guys who don't communicate the way you would like or make you feel insecure so early on. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, or get so bent out of shape over one guys' behavior (there are plenty others). This attitude will keep you carefree and fun, not so invested in one guy, until one guy turns out to be great for you.

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    • I agree with you. I still chat with other guys and have gone out on other dates, but I don't become intimate with anyone and everyone. even though I share lots of insecurity here I don't with him, and at this point I am letting things work its way out. I myself my not be really for a something serious ...so I will use it as a learning experience.

What Guys Said 1

  • Hi,

    Going from your profile, I'm a few years younger than you, therefore I'm sure you know better than me; However Ill still say something =).

    I would start with trusting your gut instinct, I really think humans have an ability or "sence" that has the answer, But we have all been taught to ignore it or our minds play so many games we can no longer feel it. Anyway, Forget the inconsistencies in his responses, I'm an am extremely loyal person but my god I'm hopeless when it comes to keeping in touch or maintaining relationships in a healthy way.

    I can see how him being a travelling business man can create insecurities for you, but really if a person is loyal; They are loyal regardless of circumstance. You said its early days so honestly just take a breath and let it play out!. If it doesn't work out...better now than in 3 years ect!.

    Good luck =)

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    • very true... I want to give him the benefit of the doubt...till I found his old online account that says closed and he has only been in my city for a few months time and told me he is new to this online dating...

      i will just see if I hear from him next two days..i will keep you posted lol

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    • i agree...even though I am showing lots of insecurity here. I believe this is better for me at the moment so I can work on myself. thank you so much for your time. if I hear from him the next two days, I will keep you post it . have a great day.

    • You are very welcome! all the best =)

What Girls Said 3

  • If you feel like you can't trust him you probably can't. Do you get this feeling often?

    Usually when I get strange feelings about people they're true.

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    • i don't know because I was with my ex. for a long time and we were inseparable from the start..so now...some distance is not bad..time to also work on myself and when he is back, I will just have a good time with him...yes, my insecurity is within and I will work on it while he is gone :)

  • Forget about him.

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  • I can't tell you if you should trust him or not,but just watch his actions...that will tell you everything in due time.If someone isn't communicating the way you would like...address it.And if it continues,act accordingly.There's no reason to sit back and be helpless just "waiting" for someone to act right.

    Maybe he is legit busy on his BUSINESS trips?Maybe he is not as invested as you think?Maybe you should start dating others instead of putting all of your eggs in one basket?I think women do this all of the time and then get upset once they realize the guy is NOT on the same page.When will we learn.*shaking head*.

    That's all I can really say about this.

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    • i understand exactly what you are saying about continue dating and I am doing just that lol...i went out with someone last week...and another guy asked me to be his g/f...but I am very attracted to this one if you know what I mean...lol

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    • you are correct, and I have come a long way from my situation. I have been separated over 9 months. spending lots of time here and have helped a lot For fun, I got online and boom, met him right away who I like. I never knew that would happen..i have met other guys just not to my liking though I don't shut my doors...even though I am very insecure here however, I think in front of him I am okay and he does seem to like a lot and I will just let it play out and heal at the same time.

    • i look back and think to myself, things happen for a reason and I am happier now...my confident level still have a bit to work on...so we'll see. thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions...now I just have to share this joy when he gets back today or tomorrow...i want to show the happy, bubbly personality that I am with all my friends as myself...him, I still get way too nervous..so I will work on that :-)

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