Why is it not made a big deal of when an older guy dates a younger girl but the opposite always is?

38 year old Bradley Cooper is dating a 20 year old but no one mentions that this is pretty creepy.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think its weird just because he looks like a gay guy so he shouldn't be with a pretty young girl

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    • So if you look gay, you shouldn't be with a pretty girl?

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    • huhhhhhhhhhh

    • Considering I am a girl I can not answer that question because I would never date a girl** is what I meant..

What Girls Said 24

  • I honestly don't think it's creepy when people are older and dating younger, usually in their twenties is when I find it less creepy because although 20-somethings are still young and do some stupid stuff because they're learning about life, I also think that the responsibility that comes at that age (being a legal adult, gaining or finally being financially independent etc, figuring out who they are and their place in the world blah blah) MAY make them able to have a great relationship with someone.

    I'm 21, and I've casually dated a few guys in their late 20s/early 30s just because they admired my level of maturity and my conduct at a young age.

    I DO find it INAPPROPRIATE when people are dating younger, as in they are in their 20s/30s etc, and are dating barely legal people in their teens REGARDLESS if it's a man or woman.

    The only time gender comes into play for me is the reasons WHY people do it. When women date younger men, I usually tend to think it's about control and power. I had a friend dating an 18 year old while we were in our third year of college. They eventually broke up because of differences that came because of how much their age difference was. And it seemed like he was struggling to be the "man" but never could because she was "Older".

    With dudes I usually see it as a sexuality/proof of masculinity thing.

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  • I don't think it's that creepy, but maybe just a little iffy. If I were 20, personally I wouldn't date a 38 year old. But hey, they're both adults and they're allowed to date whoever they want. As long as it's legal, of course. Same goes if it was a 38 year old woman and a 20 year old guy.

    Why a lot of people might find it weird is because of the old gender roles, and partially even because of the still existing sexist views on the matter. As long as the age difference isn't crazy, the older men are just seen as wise and mature men, who will take care of and admire their younger woman. Whereas if it was an older woman, she would just be seen as a hungry cougar who probably is just in it for the sex. I mean, older women even get a distasteful name for it, "cougar". What do the older men get? Possibly a high five or a pat on the back. It's pretty damn unfair. Sexism and gender roles at its finest.

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  • The idea that men are the breadwinners and generally the more dominant gender, makes it OK for an older man to be with a younger woman, as it still fits the stereotype where the man is "taking care" of the woman. Another assumption that is made, is that the older you are, the wiser you are, therefore more "in charge". Therefore, when an older woman gets with a younger man, it tramples on the old and overused gender roles. So the society deems it unusual.

    Of course, all this stereotypes and assumptions are horse sh*t, but nevertheless society still goes by them.

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  • It's been a historical trend for a long time, because women often didn't live long due to childbirth or what have you (thanks to the crappy medical care, or lack thereof when a woman gave birth). Think of Colonel Brandon courting young Marianne in the Jane Austen book Sense and Sensibility.

    I think it's fine as long as everyone is over 18, and the age difference does not exceed 15 years. More than 15 years, and you could have major problems, like one outliving the other by a lot of time, not much in common, risk of the older one taking advantage/controlling the other one because of the "respect/influence/wisdom" people assume come with age, the older one using the younger one as arm candy/a trophy, the younger one using the older one for money, etc. Not that those things can't happen with a closer age difference, but you know what I mean?

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  • I actually do think it's really creepy and thought so the first time I saw a picture of gramps all over the child.

    Maybe it's because I find him cute too

    Still...it's not cool in my humble opinion

    She could be his child..

    What do they have to talk about?

    No girl is really that mature...

    It's off both ways to me

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  • Its been socially acceptable for older men to date younger women throughout history why it is taboo for women I don't that part. Men don't realize that it hurts us to see young girls with old men we know they are after money and the men are stupid so we laugh but men will always pick a younger woman over a broad his own age even if she was faithful and everything he wants. Women date younger men for the same reason as men date younger women it makes us feel good to catch someone younger then us it shows we are still desirable. But since most cougars are the same age as the mothers of the young man they freak out the same as a father would if his little girl brought home one of his friends. Its taboo either way its just written in society that men can do things women can't and that old way of thinking holds us all down. I think its gross either way specially being a mom now it would be like f***ing my own son even though I don't have a son lol. People want to hold onto beauty and youth and they can't so they find a trophy instead.

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    • I date older men and I am not after their money. I can make my own...

    • I don't agree with you there. I'd pick a girl older than me or my age, if she loved or cared about me more than the younger girl. I don't judge much on age, but more on how I feel with that person and how they feel about me.

  • Lol I went on dates with older men and people gawk. It's kind of annoying.

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    • And people say I have "daddy issues".

      I think it's more of a problem if you view every older man as a father figure. Age is just a number!

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    • Haha I even get weird looks when I am with my dad because we don't look alike at all!

    • creepy

  • I know right? my aunt married a man 40 years her senior and my grandparents freaked, but he just talked it out with my grandparents and they let her marry him and everything, I never thought much of it because they where together but then I sometimes would think it was totally creepy, and sad because now that my aunt is a widow she is alone and I don't like her being that way.

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  • Its not always true. I was 15 and I dated a 19 year old (with permission), but all of my friends and teachers made huge deals about how Its not acceptable and I should be with guys my age.

    But his mom said "Its different'. Guys are usually less mature than girls. I don't know why. They just are. So say a guy about 3 years older, dates a girl, they are most likely on the same maturity level." I don't know if this is true exactly, but it seems kind of accurate.

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  • Because men are supposed to take care of women and be the protector, so that is why it is less weird. In the case of Bradley Cooper, I don't find it too weird. He's handsome, rich and successful. But I found it disgusting when that 52 year old Lost star married a 16 year old.

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    • Interesting answer ... so you don't think a 52yo could take care of a 16yo or do you only feel disgust because 16 is *too* young? What if he was 32 and she was 19?

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    • Yeah I know. She looks likes 25 too.

    • no answer?

  • i have wondered about this before too. I think it's strange. I can't understand why people think it's OK. I would never.

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  • I think its a bunch of Sh!t, if you love the person age shouldn't really matter I have a 30 year friend that I mayh have a chance with and I'm 18!

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  • It's a double standard, but girls mature faster than guys; physically, emotionally, and sexually. And the older you get the less the age difference matters, i.e. 12&17 is creepy but 32&37 is normal.

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  • it bothers me too! ty for asking. basically it just shows how society approves of "bad" male behavior but when ever a woman does something were wrong or sluts.

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  • I am over 40 but I don't look it so I could date a 28 year old an no one would really tell.

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  • Just makes me think the guy is looking for someone to care for him like a mother

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    • why can't I friend you?

    • Haha ;) love the down votes, I'm only saying cause 90% of the time, from my experience, e younger guy lives with his mum still and they ALWAYS go for women in their 30s and 40s. Don't tell me that's a coincedence.

    • accept my friend requestttt?

  • I agree it is creepy..

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  • That's just how society has classified everything.

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  • It's not creepy. They're both adults.

    I crushed on 40 year old men all the time when I was 20, still do, haha! It's not like he's some old fart or anything. He's in his prime, actually.

    It doesn't bother me, they're both consenting adults, they're not doing anything wrong. And frankly, why do YOU care? Haha!

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  • Because he is sexy and doesn't appear his age.

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  • It is weird well anywaysI have a 14 year cousin who I think Is having sex with a 31 year old preacher but nobody else seems to notice their behavior but me

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  • I'm 20 and I was FWB with a 33year old, is that also considered creepy?

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    • yes you are a rhymes with flut

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    • the same thing. I don't hold double standards.

    • Nope. Not creepy at all.

  • because its less common.

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  • I know right. It's annoying

    But it's because traditionally the man is supposed to be older

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What Guys Said 5

  • Because most people don't question the status quo and have an inside the box thinking. When something is separate from the "norm" people tend to freak out. I don't see what the problem is.. I've dated girls older than I am and I don't think it's a big deal at all. Age isn't even something I focus on. I just focus on emotional maturity more.

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  • Frankly its none of your business. let them be happy and you go on with your life

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  • I think its expected that they are going to be moochers so its fine but if a guy does that its wrong because he should be the one doing all of the work

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  • They rarely work. THey have no business being together. Looks like she wants some moola and be taken care of and not do anything.

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  • Differences in biology and differences in priorities.

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