Why does he tell me about his past relationships on our date?

Been dating this great guy for a little over a month and a half, see each other ALOT, but most of the time with our kids Because he has his full time and I usually have time. We have gotten a few alone dates though and last night was one and I was really excited since usually its us and our kids and the whole time he talked about his past relationships! He said he was telling me so that I know why he is being reserved and he just doesn't want to get hurt and wants me to know what he doesn't want. I just thought that we could talk about each other like what we like to do and what's his favorite things to do music wise or stuff like that...

Updates:
I decided to just let him know that although I appreciate where he is coming from, that I think we should focus on us and not either one of our pasts. That was going well, still seeing each other a lot and having fun. We are talking about going away just him and I now for a few days but The other day he said something to my kids about if me and your Mom were really dating, this would be different. My son was very upset about that stmt, saying what is he doing here if your "not really" dating?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My advice to you is; PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT HE IS SAYING TO YOU. If this guy is telling you who he really is which is, reserved and afraid of commitment and afraid to get hurt then, believe him. He may be carrying baggage from past failed relationships but, it is not your job to fix that or prove yourself to him to be different from his past girlfriends or put his mind at ease. If anything it should be him trying to prove himself to you as a good guy who wants to date you and never bring up past relationships on a date with you. If he has intimacy and trust issues with women then, he is going to have to do the work on his own to resolve them. But, if a man tells you in so many words that he either needs space, is afraid or not available RUN. Because He will prove to you that he is not ready later in the relationship and he will hurt you perhaps, not intentionally but, it will happen if you ignore the signs. Based on what you wrote it seems like you are open and ready to date but, be fair to yourself and give yourself a chance to dating a guy who's open and ready just like you. You deserve to be happy. Good luck and God bless :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • Telling the truth or not hiding anything that ma cause some irritation in future is a good thing for relationship. If this guy is telling you who he really is which is, why he is reserved or why he is afraid to get hurt simply believe him. You need not to do anything for his past or you need not to do you do not like to do or prove yourself different from his past girlfriend. If he has intimacy and trust issues with women you should be careful and limit your self.

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    • I do believe he is afraid of getting hurt, I mean who isnt... I certainly am, but I know that if I don't at least try then its on me. We knew each other a long time ago and just finally saw each other again and starting see each other. We didn't date before, he says he always had a crush on me, we used to live in the same apartment complex and would talk at the pool and the laundry room. He was nice, but I had a boyfriend so didn't go there. I'm just gonna take it SLOW I think

    • Both of you know each other for a long time and so so are aware of most of social and family status. There is no harm in going with him. I hope it will be an verlasting relation between both of you.

    • I hope you have now talk to him and all things are clear. Enjoy everlasting relationship with him.

  • It seems that it's the only thing that he can talk about.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Be careful if he's focusing on his past relationships still, because it sounds like he might not be ready to move into a new relationship. It's fine to discuss them a bit, but worrisome if they become the center of discussion. Who knows, though? He could be having an off day, maybe he won't bring it up again. If he continues to drudge up his previous relationships, however, he really might not be over them and could need more time to be single and figure out what he wants.

    Best of luck!

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  • you need to be straight up and tell him the past is the past and that your not comfortable with it and that is better if you both just focus on each other...

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  • I think he thinks your relationship is serious and wants you to know how much it means to him

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  • Because he's a jackass.

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