Yesterday was the worst day of my life, by far. I am sitting here the next morning pounding on what's going to happen and what am I going to do.
Alright, me and my serious boyfriend have been sneaking around my parents. I am not allowed to date anyone. Why? Stupid parent rule and there is no reason behind it. My parents know that me and him are best friends (he used to live in my neighborhood). They always suspected something going on between us, and it was OK because they still let me hang out with him and my other best friend as usual.
Since I can never have alone time with my boyfriend, we came up with this thing about a month ago where he sneaks into my room and he spends the night with me. We always have such a good time. We talk about things in the past and before we started dating. And yes, we are sexually active, so we did end up having sex sometimes. He sneaks into my room by my window that has no screen. Then he leaves early in the morning back to his house. That was all there was to it.
I was taking a nap yesterday and my mom came in my room yelling at me about a condom outside my window. I totally forgot that we have left one there a week ago. My dad was mowing the lawn and found it. She preceded to yell at me and ask me if me and him were "f***ing around." My first reaction was: "No, I don't know whose that is." My dad found dirt on my floor and I admitted that I snuck out last weekend and that's why it was like that. Not because I was bringing him into my room.
I stuck to this story.
But obviously my parents didn't believe me.
I am obviously grounded. My mom told me I can never see my boyfriend again. I don't know what's going to happen. This is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me and I don't know what to do to fix it. I don't plan to tell my mom the truth because it's too late and it'll just make things worse.
But, my mom eventually came into my room about 2 hours later and said sorry for freaking out on me and said "You surely understand why." and my dad later gave me a hug. I thought that things were looking up a little bit, but then my mom came into my room drunk a few hours later and was telling me how I totally lied to her and she tried to say other stuff but she was drunk so I couldn't understand anything else.
I know that it was probably wrong to sneak around in the first place, but honestly, I couldn't do anything else. I've tried telling my parents that I can handle a boyfriend but this doesn't work. Me and my boyfriend were best friends for two years before we started dating and I am so in love with this guy, I can't just stand idle and not be together with him.
So, what do I do? PLEASE no sarcastic answers. I want honestly advice because I am really so torn up about this, it's absolutely horrible.
I still don't know what I am going to do because my parents are NOT listening to me. SPECIALLY my father. I am hoping that this gets better with time.
Most Helpful Girl
Hey girl, I know how it is difficult to deal with overprotective parents. They don't allow you to do things that they feel they won't control in the future, they want to enter and control your life and they want to give you your life totally solved without you moving anything (even if their intentions are good ones, they ocassionally mess it up).
I know it is difficult, but you have to stand up and face them the next times this kind of issues came. And also if your boyfriend knew about it, he can give you support, besides, you have a strong relation, isn't it?
In fact, you didn't and you don't anything wrong about having a boyfriend (especially if he has been your best friend, for the love of God). However, it was bad that you hide them the truth. That's why you should have had to be brave and tell them.
Don't try to let them control your life. It's normal with this kind of parents that when they feel they lose the control, they want to start to prove that you are still their little girl by making you get out of control. Maybe the thing that really upset them is that you hide and lied about the fact.
If they start with the typical stuff like why you didn't tell us about it, why you don't trust us, why we can't be your friends whom you can tell everything, you don't love us anymore, etc.. Just don't take it seriously and tell them calmly that the way they have been reacting with you is the reason about why you didn't tell them (if they say it calmly , then tell them because when I talk with you this kind of topic, you always overreact or I think that you would be angry with me if I told you). If they don't want to listen you, the that is their problem, you wanted to talk to them in a civilized way and if they don't want to listen, well they had their chance and you go calmly to your room even if they want to continue to talk to you.
Please, don't lose that special relation you have with your bf, try to be more independent of mind and don't let your parents change your mind with what you really like and gain control of you. Don't take them seriously with this kind of stuff and also get the support of you bf.