I'm confused about my feelings...

I've been dating this guy for about a month now. Before we started dating, we were just talking and getting to know each other for about a week. He's a sweetheart and I enjoy spending time with him. Basically, this is my first serious relationship. When we first started talking, the thought of him touching me or even kissing me turned me on greatly. However, now that we are dating and are starting to get sexually involved, I'm not turned on anymore. Twice he tried to give me head, and I wasn't "responding" the way I should. I feel really bad. When we fool around, he is more turned on than I am, and I like making him feel that way. I'm scared he will break up with me, and I don't want to break things off with him. At the same time, I'm scared that if we keep trying and nothing is happening, that we might be wasting our time. What should I do? I'm starting to think that the fact that I shut down when I get too close (emotionally) to someone, is affecting this part of my relationship with him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's obvious that there's a problem no doubt rooted in childhood or teenage experiences. I'd go for a professional counselor; it would be worth the money to sort out why you don't respond.

    It's almost certain this'll lead to a break-up if you don't address and face up to the lack of mutual physical attraction.

    Now, I'm not saying for sure you have some kind of psychological problem; maybe you're just inhibited and inexperienced. But a counselor could help with those problems as well.

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