Girls: how would you feel if you got that text?

so there is this girl I like only as friend and we text and everything but lately I have to initiate the conversation or she doesn't and quite often she leaves in the middle without even saying anything or bye or gtg or ttyl or anything.

so I have decided to send her that text "if you don't want to talk to me or if I am boring you tell me and remove me from Facebook and Skype and I promise I will delete your phone number."

am I too blunt? how would she feel? what would her reaction be?

any suggestion on how to give the same message but more politely.

Updates:
any other suggestion, I would like to hear from more people about that.

ok so I like her as a friend and I am not ready for any relationship at the moment anyway but I kinda of hate how she is always online all the time but rarely text not the way she used to do it all day everyday.

I think I will go with Dollxface answer but if she bitches again I will just send my message and then delete her.
people. she responds fast then suddenly she disappears and never appear again except next month although she is online and doing nothing.

what I want her to do is simply say "gtg bye".

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't be that blunt cause it sounds kinda whiny and mean... No offense. Just say "Hey Sometimes I feel like you don't like talking to me, and id appreciate it if youd let me know I'm bugging or over stepping my place, I like talking to you but don't want to be over bearing or a bother." and Just leave it at that...Or simply don't text her anymore unless she texts you first.

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What Girls Said 17

  • I have had guys say this to me and it just makes things worse. The best thing you can do is respond the way she does, if she leaves in the middle...do the same. This way, NO you are not playing games but pacing yourself to her level. As a girl who has been misunderstood by some guys before, I can tell you, I was either not too interested or the guy seemed too eager. So when I was interested, or could have started liking the guy...I just wasn't given the chance to miss him or to really think about what he meant to me. I honestly think you shouldn't even bring it up, pretend like you didn't notice it.

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  • If you only like her as a friend, what does it even matter? I do this to all my friends too. That doesn't mean I don't like talking to them, but sometimes the conversation dies out so I just stop responding, or sometimes they stop too. If it was a guy I like, I would probably say g2g or something cause I like him, but with friends I know they wouldn't take it personally so I don't even bother. If you say that to her, she's gonna think you like her as more than a friend, so definitely don't do that. Just don't get so offended because everyone does what she's doing. It's nothing personal!

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    • nope. just her. or at least I haven't met that many of her type.

  • I had the same issue with a guy I was dating + other things... I was blunt like you and he literally just lol'd. That already says a bit about him.

    Think it's fine if she does that but then gets back to you later, like she fell asleep or got distracted with something, but not if it's constant and you've to initiate things next time to hear from her again. I know it gets tiring, but I learned sometimes it's best to just ignore them and find someone with similar values to whom you don't even have to explain this kind of thing.

    However, if you wanna try one last time, maybe just say "you know, it's really bothersome when you leave me hanging in the middle of a conversation and just leave without warning..." in a joking tone.

    I'm assuming you're messaging. Isn't texting a bit more like email, people just reply when they have the time to?

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    • nope I am instant messaging on fb.

      i think what I will do is just ignore her. if she initiates things I will be cold like "good." and no how are you back. if she continues talking I will tell her "you are hot and beautiful and I really really love your hair but you have a shrew attitude"

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    • well add me and if I send her something I will let you know :)

    • Haha, I wasn't being literal, but will add you anyway then^^

  • I don't want to sound mean, but it really sounds a bit on the needy/whiny side. If I received such a message, I'd either stop replying for good or even confront him.

    To be honest, if she was truly interested she'd probably reply faster. Happens to me, as well: if a conversation gets clingy, awkward or overbearing in any way, I start to take longer to reply. I don't do it for the sake of being mean, though, it's just that it can get draining/awkward.

    It's probably rude, but please understand it's probably equally bad to force/demand attention.

    Since there's no interest in seeing her as anything more than a friend, it'd be probably best to chalk it off as casual conversation and start taking your time to reply as well.

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    • she replies fast as fast as someone can write.

      the problem is she leaves so suddenly without saying bye or cu or ttyl. that's plain mean even if she wasn't interested. I wouldn't even do that with a stranger.

    • So the only problem is that she fails to say goodbye before leaving? If that's the case, I don't think that's a big deal, and not even remotely a reason to send such a message as the one you've planned. Maybe you could politely tell her somehow that you'd appreciate it if she did, but that'd be it.

  • It sounds too whiny to me. Don't ever send it to her, not even if she decides to not respond again. It'll just make you sound really desperate. If you went with Dollxface's suggestion, let it be from now on. You don't have to be a drama queen to get your point across. If she ends up not responding again, just calmly delete her without saying anything about it. It's way more powerful and yet very subtle, compared to being whiny and telling her that she should just delete you from everything.

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  • If I got that text, would actually feel embarrassed for being mean/cold in not responding (but that is how I am).

    You do not need to say "remove me from Facebook and Skype" since that is her decision. You can say "I get the feeling that you do not enjoy talking to me since you sometimes do not respond. You do not have to talk to me if you do not want to." See if she responds. If she does not then you can stop talking to her and it won't seem abrupt or mean. If she replies and initiates the conversation and continues to do so, then she must have not been trying to ignore you (she could have just gotten pretty busy lately).

    Hopefully that helps.

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  • I think she has obviously been taking you for granted and nobody likes how that feels. If people do that to me, at first you can try to understand them but at some point, I would just rather not put up with it.

    I don't think you have to get angry about it, just find some way to express yourself so you get the point across. Plus it's better to find people who seek you out and make you feel appreciated, so I would kinda put her on the back burner at this point.

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  • Some people just don't want to text or talk over the internet ALL DAY!

    Are you being a typical man and sending vague things or messages with just a few words? I know a lot of guys who do this and they constantly send things that are hard to reply to. It's draining to sit there and constantly think of things to say to keep a meaningless conversation flowing.

    If anyone said that to me I'd think they are incredibly whiny and lame. I'd stop talking to you even if I enjoyed it before.

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    • no I wasn't and I would send you the messages but that would just be invading her privacy.

    • She doesn't want to talk to you then... you can't force her to do it! Find someone else who enjoys texting as much as you do!

  • I personally would feel like that someone is annoying and desperate because telling me to delete you is like you trying to win my attention by force or kinda threat or a guity trap.If you want to get her attention stop texting her first she will definitely see that and wonder why the attention has stopped,she will initiate the contact.However,if she doesn't text first then its a sign she is not interested in talking and is probably annoyed by you...learnt this the hard way-:(

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  • Honestly, I would just stop talking to her. There's no point getting worked up about someone who doesn't seem to care about the situation. I think being blunt is a good thing. It just seems that she lost interest in talking. I mean, I rarely say bye to anyone when I'm chatting with them online. If I lose interest in the conversation, I'm just going to ignore it and forget about it soon after. And I understand if others do the same to me. nbd

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  • I would think he is immature and kind of controllling. we are friends but I don't need to do everything how he wants me to.

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  • yeah I think that's too blunt

    you can tell her that you may think that you bother her but don't go so far as to telling her to remove you from Facebook and Skype, it makes you sound kind of oversensitive

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  • I think that I would get really mad, its too blunt, Just stop talking to her.

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  • Maybe she doesn't feel like texting. What if SMS didn't exist? Would you call her every second of every day? Would you get upset if she didn't? Honestly, that sounds a bit clingy, especially if you ARE just friends. Give her a break.

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    • please. I am not talking about texting. I am talking about we are talking right now then she I send the message and she doesn't reply. I understand that she has to leave but at least say good bye that's simply being polite.

  • I think you are overreacting, she will ask herself what's wrong with you. (like what would make you so mad)

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  • I usually leave conversations in the middle. Not because I'm not interested, but because I'm not in mood to talk. That happens with everybody, even with my mom and best friend, so basically I don't think I should apologize for not saying "bye". Second, we girls love when guys talk to us first. We are dying, waiting for your text, but if you want her to feel "safe" just tell her: something like, "Feel free to message me whenever you want :)" and if she does, she is interested.

    I will definitely be like wtf. Do whatever you want and maybe "ignore" you for a couple of days. I think it's just me. I usually ignore people when I'm confused, because if I get that text, I would be confused. Anyway, that is how I would react

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  • I don't think you need to get that serious or specific with it.

    Just saying, "Hey, why have you been so distant lately?" is sufficient and gets the point across without making you come off as a "me me me" whiner, you know? And the conversation can go from there. It isn't as much of an accusation either. Accusations sometimes shut people down and make them put their defenses up and you'll never get an answer out of someone when they're like that.

    I understand your frustration though. I have this problem with several of my friends as well. I simply don't initiate with them anymore. Consequently, I go weeks without hearing from them sometimes. Some people are just like that, I don't get it either...

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What Guys Said 3

  • Honestly, people multitask when they text. I can get a text and not get back to it later a lot. I only text back and forth in actual situations. You're probably expecting her to text you in a full blown conversation and that can be very annoying for people.

    If she's texting you back like 24 hours later and you can't remember the text then sure I can understand the nuisance but take her "abrupt disappearances" as a lack of interest in you and merely keep her as a friendly peer. Burning bridges is not really good. You never know, she could have a friend you'd want to meet but since you got all annoyed at her she would never introduce her to you.

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  • Stop texting her. (But stay friendly in person.)

    It sounds like you were the friend that she didn't think she would have feelings for and then suddenly she is afraid because she feels something but you aren't her Mr. McDreamy. The only way to handle this is to move on and stop initiating any texting. It may be a jerk move, but it doesn't mean stop being her friend.

    Other advice:

    Don't text buddy dude. You've got to be direct. Talk in person and talk on the phone. Texts are too easy to ignore etc. Would you send an email to ask a girl out on a date? NO.

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  • I've got the exact same problem. I'm so sick of the dishonesty in women - they SHOULD be able to reply since they're such great "communicators." (bullsh*t)

    BUT, as we keep seeing, and as evidenced by these flaky bitches, we just have to leave the silence at that. You and I (and all other men) just have to tolerate this crap, and if this bitch tries to contact you again, either LEAVE HER HANGING with no response or reply with just a "f*** you." But you DON'T ask "why didn't you respond" - I guess that's "desperate" or "clingy" which is such bullsh*t...

    How is wanting an answer desperate?

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    • I think I will give her the "seen and no reply" next time she texts. anyway I did not ask why didn't you respond. I simply stated in an politer manner that she is a bitches that I won't put up with.

    • Yeah it's f***ing obnoxious.

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