So I have been talking to this single mother for about one month.

So I have been talking to this single mother for about one month.

I'm a big make a list person so this should make it easier to follow:

We both hit it off great, one date a kiss at the end.

We talked all day every day for about a week and a half after the date.

She stated a couple times that she is very busy over the summer with work. We made more dates but she could never find a sitter, so we had to cancel them.

I asked her how she felt about me and she replied that she is interested in pursuing things, she agree that we have a connection, but her exact words "if you find someone that's better for you go for it".

I haven't heard from this young lady in a week and a half. Could she be really that busy, could she be blowing me off, could she be seeking other men and doesn't have the heart to tell me things won't work out?

We are both 26?

What do you think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with the other girls as possibilites. I think you need to flat out tell her that you're confused about the direction this is taking and need some clarity. Ask her if she's ready to make it official (if you're ready...at least you would know where you stand.

    I'm not sure how I feel about wizeguy2350's response. It's like he just finished reading She's Not That Into You, or something. Some of what he said may be true, but there are no absolutes.

    How she really feels probably depends a little on where she is in life. I'm a single mom and yes it can really be that difficult to find a sitter! When I started to think about dating for the first time after I had my child it seemed like a daunting task and an impossible mission. Especially without a good support system. And raising a child or children while managing a job or work can make time fly.

    What I'm saying is that its entirely possible she has no intent and is unaware she's blowing you off. On the other had, if her kid(s) are a little older, she's been back in the dating game for awhile then something could be up.

    If things clear up and you plan a second date, ask her if she'd be comfortable doing a picnic-play-date. She may not be ready for that, but it would give her the sense that you respect her as a mom and are ready to commit.

    Oh and if you do confront her about your concerns you could try asking her what its like to manage a social life as a single parent. What dating has been like. Is it hard on her, are people pretty understanding of it. She may just not be comfortable opening up to you about that part of her life, until she see's that your interested. Ask her who she goes to for help, etc. Get to know the situation so she feels comfortable talking to you about and so there's no more misunderstanding.

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    • Well here is the thing, I did clear there air.. this is what she said . "I am still interested in dating you, I feel a connection with you. but if you find something better" that was two weeks ago I have talked to her once since then . When I asked her out again , she said could not find a sitter, but she said she wanted to reschedule. That same week I texted her once and called twice, no response.

      I have a considerable amount of dating experience, this doesn't feel right, not like a normal

    • That's where I think it could be a confidence issue. She may feel that you have a lot going for you to be putting up with a single mom. She may just be insecure that she's a parent with a lot of drama that you might not be ready for. She knows it takes a lot of work to date a single parent, and you may want to keep your options open to something more simple. But if your gut is telling you something its a good idea to listen. Tell her you like her, but your just not convinced she feels the same.

    • Well If I ever get the opportunity...what do you think...lay low for a bit then send a text?..or do you think she will eventually call me back? After she thinks things through

What Girls Said 3

  • I think she feels you deserve more then what she can offer right now. Unless you make it clear you don't plan on leaving anytime soon and that you really like. her she is going to keep you at a distence.

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  • I think she might feel bad about you having to deal with cancelled dates, and all that jazz because she has a kid.

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  • I would say that she feels guilty about diminishing your freedom if your relationship would get really serious since she has kids. If you really do like her show her that you are willing to be in a serious relationship even if she has kids.

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    • I have a considerable amount of dating experience, this doesn't feel right, not like a normal , hey I'm not interested in you anymore. Plus I'm pretty sure she would tell me that she is no longer interested

What Guys Said 2

  • In my experience, single parents tend to prefer dating other single parents. It's not always that way, but it usually is, since they have far more in common.

    Let's take a look at what you have written here:

    "We both hit it off great, one date a kiss at the end."

    That's a good sign.

    "We talked all day every day for about a week and a half after the date."

    That's a big mistake. Don't do that again! If you talk to her too much, she'll end up feeling emotionally "smothered." You want her to be really excited to see you on each date. Next time, disappear in between dates. Save the phone and texting for arranging dates, at least in the early stages. Take things slow, and give her plenty of space.

    "She stated a couple of times that she is very busy over the summer with work."

    Excuses, excuses... if she's really feeling it for you, she'll always make room for you in her schedule.

    "She could never find a sitter, so we had to cancel."

    One of two things is true here... either she's using her kid(s) as an excuse not to see you, or she's doing a terrible job of organizing her life. Either way, it's not good. Canceled dates should not be tolerated, especially in the early stages. The first time she canceled a date with you, you should have tossed her phone number in the trash and moved on.

    "She agreed that we have a connection, but her exact words were, 'If you find someone that's better for you go for it.'"

    That's the kiss of death right there. Game over. A woman who was really interested in you wouldn't jeopardize her chances with you by telling you it's okay to date other women.

    "I haven't heard from this young lady in a week and a half."

    In all fairness, communication is a two-way street. What was stopping you from contacting her? Even if you did, though, I don't think she would be very receptive. Based on what you wrote, she's probably not interested in you. My advice would be to move on.

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  • Chances are she was telling you goodbye when she suggested you look for someone else.

    A single mom is going to look for commitment fast. If she gets the idea you aren't into that, she will cut you off pretty quickly. You can't really blame her. She's not likely going to settle for any kind of casual or undefined 'dating' arrangement as a chidless girl her age might.

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    • Hmm could be, but she controlled the pace of the dating. I don't think it was me being non committal. In fact I asked her to go out with me three times leading up to the last time I asked.

    • If she got the vibes that you just wanted to have fun..well, that's not likely the agenda that's going to appeal to a single mom!

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