My boyfriend and my kids, what do you recommend?

So here is the deal... I have two kids, I'm divorced and been dating for over a year now. My kids love my boyfriend and they like to spend time with him rather than their daddy. When he met me he knew I came as a package and he said it was fine. I've seen my kids and boyfriend interact and they get along great. He watches them for me when I'm at work (he volunteers to watch them), he works around the house, he takes care of my needs and the kids. he's a great guy but recently I noticed a change in him. (he's been unemployed for more than 6 months) He snaps for everything, he's been yelling at my kids, last night he spanked my little boy (that made me very upset and he noticed later he was apologizing to him and to me), he stays with us once or twice a week, he has a temper, he's always criticizing the way I disipline my kids saying their not bad kids but lack disipline, when my daugher tells him she wants him to be in our house all the time he avoids the question, there were times when I told him kids wanted to spend more time with him and wanted him in the house he just replied saying you know I can't, I don't think he wants to get married or movie in any time soon, he's always telling them he loves them and my kids to him... last night I saw a text message between him and his brother where he was talking bad about my kids saying he can't take this kids anywhere Because of who they act, accusing my kids of him not being able to make it to places, just saying bad things about them. I also read another text from him to a friend saying my kids are the reason why he doesn't hang out with him Because he needs to watch them for me, that they are out of control... honestly, reading those text and the way he's been acting really hurt me. I love the guy but my kids are my two most valuable possesions and no man will ever be more important than them. I think it's time to let him go, what do you guys think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • maybe he doesn't feel like a man anymore and he really doesn't have to deal with your kids even if he said he did, he was not the one who made them, let him be free

    i´ve always thought if you have kids you are the one responsible for them, not your new partners or parents

    and kids are not possesions

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What Guys Said 1

  • Unless you can talk to him and find out about this sudden change I say leave him. He shouldn't be disciplining your kids, let alone putting a physical hand on them. I don't know your kids obviously so I can't say how they act. All I know is that they are yours to raise how you see fit and outside of offering an opinion, he has no real say. So I'd say call it quits, especially since he doesn't seem to want to become more like a family.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's probably because he doesn't feel good about himself being unemployed and depressed.

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  • its not because of you, its because of his job, try to be supportive.

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  • well I have seen this happen it must be that he feels like a failure so he leashes out.

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