Should I wait for him to initiate contact?

I was on a date with a guy at a rave when I met this really attractive guy. He was really cute and I would've danced with him but I was with a different guy at the time. Anyway, we have the same circle of acquaintances and I knew some friends of his so when I got home I added him on Facebook. Then a random night afterward I started a chat with him to see if he was going to go to another rave I was going to but he wasn't and we didn't talk for a while. He would like pictures of me and friends that I'd post up, though.

Then one night he randomly messaged me because he saw that I visited his university campus and told me that I should've told him and that we could've chilled together. So I said the next time I visit I'd let him know and then he continued a conversation with me by asking a few questions about me and then that ended. Then I went to his campus again to visit friends and drink so I let him know that I was coming by. He asked for my number and gave me his so I could text him when I was free to hang out with him. And when I texted him he didn't reply until hours later saying that he fell asleep after a long day at work but asked me if I was down to drink with him but I already had other plans. However, when my plans were over, we were still texting each other and he invited me to his dorm to drink and hookah. I had to decline since it was already past 1am and my ride home was leaving.

And basically, this kept happening where we'd almost hang out and it doesn't happen because he'd be busy with school/work or I wouldn't have time for him. The last time we talked was about a week or so ago where he out of the blue texted me and asked if I were still around or if I went home for summer. I said that I was still in the area and if he were still around also and he said yeah.

Do I wait for him to initiate contact again? I mean, I know we don't owe each other anything at all so there isn't really anything to wait for technically. But I'm just testing the waters, like I'd love to get to know him better and actually spend time with him to see if there's any sparks because it seems as though we have a lot of similar interests. I've been told that if I want to see if a guy is actually into me, I should never initiate contact, that I should wait if he'll care enough to. But can I text him or just never talk to him until he talks to me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • NO!

    This is exactly how I met my current girlfriend. We met at a party and then we talked on Facebook for a while and then we tried to hang out a few times but I kept being busy - so the pretenses were about the same. I didn't keep trying to talk to her, however, because I was worried I was wasting my time trying to get with a girl like her. If she hadn't talked to me more and told me how she felt then we wouldn't be dating because I had never imagined she'd like me.

    I think it's dumb that people think that girls should wait for the guy to always make the first, or next, move. He may just be shy and if you really like him you may just have to put in a little more effort than just waiting for him to do it all. Talking to girls is intimidating.

    Also, when a girl talks to a guy it helps with the boy's confidence A LOT, and it may give him the boost or reassurance he needed to really get the relationship started.

    Chat him up.

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What Guys Said 8

  • He's initiated contact several times now, so it's your turn! He wants to know if you care about him..so show him you do!

    He sounds like he has a lot of other priorities, though, so don't get your hopes up too high!

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  • just text him...that stuff you heard is bullsh*t because the guy might be thinking the same thing. Stop with the silly mind games and just text him.

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  • "I've been told that if I want to see if a guy is actually into me, I should never initiate contact, that I should wait if he'll care enough to" is the most incorrect statement in all of existence.

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  • yes, that way he can know you are interested in him back in return

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  • Americans and mind games! Do you like him? Yes. Would you feel bad if you lose contact? Most likely. Then you have nothing to lose! There is no shame in liking someone that fast.

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  • It is common courtesy to initiate contact roughly as many times as he initiates it when you're both interested.

    Go for it.

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  • yes you should

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  • girls only care about looks . I hate being ugly

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What Girls Said 6

  • If you want to text him, I say go for it. But I think you should change your expectations. If this has happened multiple times where you try to hang out but for some reason it doesn't work, it means he isn't interested in more than a hook up or something casual.

    If he really liked you, he would have pushed some plans out of the way and made time for you. If he doesn't make time until late at night when he's finally free, you aren't a priority, just a booty call. But if you're okay with that, all the power to ya! Just go over and spend the night or something ;)

    If you choose not to initiate, he may do it himself eventually, but only when he gets bored and wants something to do. Guys suck lol, sometimes you gotta lower your expectations and just roll with it and have fun. Otherwise if you don't want that then forget it. Whatever you're comfortable with!

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  • I would let him initiate the contact.

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  • no don't wait!

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  • Initiate contact if you want to speak with him. If you don't text when you are interested, you'd be playing games and playing games is childish.

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  • no, just do it. text him

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  • text him

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