Should I date someone who is hooking up with somebody else ?

So I went on a first date with a guy, and during the date he initiated two phone calls first to see if his friends wanted to get drunk later..wtf ?!..turns out in his circle of friends there is a girl who he has already had drunk sex with, and even posted pictures of him and her waking up in a bed drunk on instagram, and I am assuming they still have sex. He was out with his friends and of course she was there but this time he was talking on the phone with me for about three hours telling me how he wants me take me seriously and blah blah blah lol, our second date is this weekend, but am I unsure if I want to continue to date him ? Just the thought of him having drunk sex with a friend who he still hanging out with bothers me! Am I over exaggerating? What should I do ?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't even know you, but I'm going to go ahead and assume you are a very smart, beautiful woman, inside and out and at least, deserve the world.

    With that said, higher your standards, and hold on to them as tightly as you can. Run from this guy. He could not give you even close of what I think you deserve, based on what you just described of him.

    a) Initiating phone calls on a FIRST date, with a women - is rude and disrespectful.

    b) The topics that arose in these phone conversations, in front of you, nonetheless - was very dumb of him. Do you honestly want to associate with a man who engages in drunk sex, and publicly exploits the act, more specifically, publicly exploits the girl? Does any of this tell you anything of his values and morals and how maybe he may not have any?

    I think you deserve a guy who treats you like you are the only person in the room, full attention. Makes you feel alive and inspired. Instead out wasting time slowly deteriorating parts of his brain and other organs, he would be 100% invested in getting to know you on a much deeper level, so he can someday truly appreciate your presence by embracing the wonderful person that you are.

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    • This ! ^^^^^^^ OMG..I can't believe I am actually contemplating on whether I should I lower standards..this just made think deeply lol, Thank you very much, and I already know from your response, you too are a woman with experience, who is obviously smart, beautiful and knows her worth, :)

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    • Definitely did, I feel like I just got a reality check lol, I truly appreciate it, thank you isn't even a good enough word right now lol but take care :)

    • And by the way, I would not give him any more of your energy. Completely ignore any future texts/phone calls he reaches out to you. You don't have enough invested in him that you owe any explanation. So ignore him, and be strong. If you cross paths in public, just say something very vague like "I'm just busy, got a lot going on' and walk away.

What Guys Said 1

  • You shouldn't enter this water. It would entail a lot of drama

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What Girls Said 4

  • That's trashy of him to have that friend around. It disturbs me a bit. Quite the turn off I'd be a bit creeped out too. Since he's talking about wanting to take things seriously he needs to put more effort into it. Go on the second date with him and talk to him. And ask him what's up with this friend. Be direct and be direct early. A second date is not too much wasted time. But if it doesn't feel right walk away.

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  • Personally if I were you, would give it a try. I'd question him about it, and tell him my issues about how I feel about him having drunk sex with that girl lol. I'd also be the one to want to hang out with his group of friends once in a while just to see how the girl acts around him. Good luck tho :)

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    • Thanks girl ! But how would you get him to invite you to hang out with him and his friends ?

    • No problem, and Well in my last relationship, he was actually the one who wanted his friends to get to know me, and we went from there.

      But If I were to ask, I'd be like "I just want your friends to get to know me, since we're dating now and everything" and if he lets you, then you're good! If he doesn't I'd kind of question that.. Lol

    • Thank you ! :)

  • sure, go ahead, seems like a brilliant idea

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  • well dating is more serious than hooking up, so why would you want to be with a guy that is still having sex and does thing you don't like

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