Girls are not shallow at all, personality is the most important thing!

I was trying out online dating and as expected, only a part of the girls I contacted replied to me. I was polite, there was nothing douchy about my profile but still some conversations just died, I never heard of those girls again.

Recently I took and uploaded much better profile picture. It's real, not edited but way more appealing than the previous ones.

And what happened? Suddenly a bunch of girls who ignored me for about a month contacted me again, each of them got their own story why they've been so busy and everything!

Yeah, right... tell me more!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sexual attraction is the first thing that everyone looks for.

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    • So why girls keep saying all the time that personality is the most important and that looks maybe later as a bonus? On this very website nearly ever girl has told that.

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    • Idk women need to quit lying that looks don't matter

    • You heard the lady. F***hypocrisy!

What Girls Said 3

  • Looks are all people have for first impressions. Attraction gets them interested in the first place, but personality is what makes them stay. Looks are especially important in online dating because that's most all people have to go on until you meet.

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    • My previous picture weren't bad at all, in fact they were very good but they were not awesome! The new one is awesome though! And it made me feel like an object - threw away like a trash at first but then seeked later and lied to - a part of me feels flattered but another part of me feels very offended.

  • This site has so much hate on girls.

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  • Why do you blame them for liking you better when you put on a more appealing photo when you would do the same It is in human nature, finding somebody who you are more attracted to. Also, in all fairness you are not showing the two photos.

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    • Because I would at least expect them to tell where they're going before they're gone for a month or something, I felt like a discarded piece of trash and now they come back only because of a new picture, guess right now I understand how plenty of girls feel like!

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    • Cool beans

    • Dude chill. Yes now you know that looks came first. I've never heard personality first looks later. It really is looks first, personality later, while personality is a huge part in actually dating someone it's not the initial factor. If you're gonna curse out some random person on the Internet maybe your real personality isn't that great.

What Guys Said 10

  • And this offends you why? They've complimented you on your appearance but you seek a reason to see the negative in it. The conversations dwindled and died but they must have retained something otherwise they would have never looked at your profile and noticed an updated photo.

    I see only the positive side.

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    • It offends me because, the first - they abruptly disappeared without saying anything yet still being online after, the second - their excuses were not very plausible, nobody is that busy so they can't afford 10 minutes to write a reply, the third - I felt like a discarded piece of trash and I felt objectified! If I would be looking just for a hook-up it wouldn't matter but I'm not!

    • I think you're focusing on a self-destructive path with no good outcome.

      Acknowledge what is and then just let it go. You're not doing yourself any favors and this line of thinking brings you no closer to achieving the relationship you want. Why waste the only moment you will ever be given on fostering hate. You would achieve far more by nurturing the good in yourself and moving forward.

  • It's a farce. The online company uses men to pose as women to return messages to you so that you pay more money to the company. Once you do that, the "women" lose interest or become more involved in other activities. While you are wasting your time and money, these online dating services thrive. Sure, there are some real people there, but the odds are still against you in obtaining that special person or finding that hottie for sex.

    Take it from me, I wasted lots of time and money on those online dating sites. NEVER AGAIN! If you are unconvinced, then good luck.

    Think about it: how many times have we heard any given woman say, "you're a great guy and some lucky woman will be happy to have you, but...you're not for me"? Way too often. I'm sure men have said the same to women, but not with such frequency. I've never done it and never will because it doesn't make sense to me.

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  • Can't blame them for being human. Initial attraction is important for both genders and, unless we're mind readers or people are completely transparent, the first thing we notice about someone is his/her physical appearance. Let's keep it real here.

    The difference is that most of us guys maintain appearance as something very important over time whereas most girls pile up personality, status, and other factors on top of appearance, so appearance no longer seems to matter to them. That is why they claim they're not shallow and that personality is more important, which for the most part isn't that hard to understand.

    If it makes you feel any better, you did a good thing by making yourself appear more attractive. Your goal now is to be able to keep them interested because looks will only get you so far.

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  • The same happened to me, except kind of in a different order. I was talking to this girl from zoosk, just having normal conversations, and she asked me for a pic from my crappy camera phone, and if you have ever taken a pic of yourself with a crappy camera phone and bad lighting, you know you will come out looking nothing like you.

    So she stopped replying to my texts, and then just completely started ignoring me lol. But her loss, I'm attractive sweet and kind, I don't want someone like her.

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    • Honestly, I think that women only say the whole '' Personality is the MOST important thing.'' To protect their image so they don't look stuck up/snobbish. I'm sure this doesn't apply to every women either, just some of the women that say that line.

  • Both women and men put great emphasis on appearance. The only difference is guys admit it.

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  • I see. Though I would agre with the girl, sexual attraction is important.

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  • Whoever said women are not after attractive men? I don't see what your issue is. Welcome to life...get over it and move on.

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  • Woman just say stuff about the personality stuff just so they look better and appear to not be shallow

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  • Women used to put more value on other things such as power, status, money etc. so looks of men didn't matter as much. Of course good looking guys still got laid tons, but it was less so compared to nowadays as women are very independent and can provide for themselves. This frees them up to pursue the most attractive mate so do your best to work on your looks but personality is still super important. I've known guys who are great with women but don't have great looks, others who look good but don't get as many girls cause they don't have as much game.

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  • Personality is never the most important thing. Personality IS VERY IMPORTANT. But it's nowhere near to being the most important thing, not for girls, not for guys, not for anyone.

    The most important thing is sexual attraction. Without it, nothing else happens. Sexual attraction is the prerequisite. If the attraction isn't there, you don't CARE if they have a great personality or not. Now, does that mean that having a sh*tty personality isn't a deal breaker? Of course it is, or can be. But lack of sexual attraction is always a deal-breaker. Always.

    I don't care how much people try to deny it, attraction is the pure driving force behind relationships. Once the attraction dies, the only things that can keep a relationship together are fear and loyalty. Some people stay in relationships because they're afraid they can't do any better, and others stay in them because they feel loyalty to their partner or duty to the relationship. Without one of those two things though, it's just over.

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