Would you guys ever date a girl who self harms?

i really like this guy and we were playing 20 questions while texting and he asked if I have ever self harmed, so I said yes and after that he hasn't talked to me much... he's been ignoring me. I think I scared him off with the fact that I self harm. I want to be with him so badly but I don't know if he can accept that fact about me...


0|0
5|5

Most Helpful Girl

  • il tell you a little bout myself to answer your question:)

    i used to self harm, about 3 years ago, I had 2 best friends who were both guys, and both happened to like me which I didn't know... and they knew that I was self harming. one of them got sick of it tho and he broke off our friendship. [similar to the guy in your case I guess, but less obvious]

    a year after id stopped I was fortunate enough to have someone love me, and I told him everything bout myself. he accepted me even knowing that I went through self harm and wev been together for a year and a half now.

    basically, it does depend on the guy and how well they can cope with it. a man will support u, look after you and trust that you won't go back to it- and even if you do he will still have your back. a guy whos a wuss about it though isn't emotionally strong himself and wouldn't b able to handle it as well. as long as uv tried to get over it or have done so already, he should admire you for having gone through such a time and gotten out on top=] hope this helps x

    0|0
    0|0
    • i have been trying to stop, I'm now a month clean of cutting

    • Show All
    • that's exactly my situation... wow that's so weird. one best friend is jealous of the other because I like the other so the best friend that's like a brother to me is trying to help out as much as he can.

      you really helped me, since I'm anonymous I'll go and add you as a friend :)

    • it is weird hey lol. I can totally relate.

      im glad I can help hun, looking forward to chatting with u:)

What Guys Said 5

  • That would be something very difficult for me to accept. If she were in the process of stopping or had given it up before we first met, I would still be concerned, but not quite as much.

    See, when someone self-harms, that means that there are deep issues that they are dealing with and have either not received or not sought the appropriate help. Someone who gets into a relationship with that person would worry about two things: 1) Becoming that person's therapist and 2) watching someone they care deeply about destroying his or her self and feeling helpless to do anything about it (especially if the appropriate help has either not worked or not been pursued).

    If you are dealing with things this heavy, you need to first acknowledge that you need help. Then you need to find that help. Not just for the sake of a relationship, but for the sake of your own health and well-being. If you have no reason to love and care for yourself, how can you expect to love and care for someone else?

    I hope things get better for you and that you get your guy. Thoughts and prayers :-)

    1|0
    0|0
    • i have been a month clean of cutting. I'm truly trying to stop, I tried telling him that but he still isn't answering.

    • Show All
    • How long have you been cutting? And why did you start? Did he now know what you were going through?

    • since January, because of a close family memeber dying and because I was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disease (yeah I know I'm such trophy girl), and yes he knows all of this

  • not if she was still doing it

    0|0
    1|0
  • I'm currently dating a girl who still self harms. I'm crazy about this girl & I won't let her inner demons scare me away. Yeah she has issues, but what kind of guy would I be if I let her face them alone?

    2|0
    0|0
  • No I wouldn't. It would scare me off, literally.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Would I date a girl that use to self harm? Yes.

    Would I date a girl that still self harms? No.

    I understand everyone has issues that they need to work through, and I can overlook her past to some extent, but I am not going to watch the woman I love hurt herself, or worry that every time we get into a fight that she might hurt herself. In order to be happy and content in my relationship, I need my woman to be safe and happy.

    0|0
    0|0
    • i have been a month clean of cutting. I'm truly trying to stop, I tried telling him that but he still isn't answering

    • I don't mean to sound cold, but attempting to stop isn't good enough for me. I would need to know that the girl has stopped completely. I hope you are successful and stop hurting yourself.

What Girls Said 4

  • i wouldn't date a guy who does

    0|0
    1|0
  • that was an overshare!

    0|0
    1|0
  • they might be iffy but if they like the girl then they would try and help her.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you self harm you are unstable and that makes people uncomfortable

    0|2
    1|0
Loading...