give reasons please...i want to know if a selfharmer has a chance at dating and being loved.
Most Helpful Guy
First off, Insomnia is not a big deal. I have it. I've battled with it on and off my whole life. I've had many relationships with many people, and I've even dated a few fellow insomniacs as well. It's manageable. It's a little awkward sometimes, for one or both parties, but it's something that can be dealt with pretty easily. Most of the time, it can be a complete non-issue. So don't worry about that.
The bigger issue is self-harm.
Self harm is a huge turn off, but it's something I can deal with. I've dealt with girlfriends who have done it in the past, and it was pretty sad a lot of the time. Though whenever one would try to blame it on me, I would hit the bricks because screw that crazy, manipulative crap; I have NOTHING to do with someone else harming themselves. It's self harm. SELF.
But yes, I've dated girls who self harm. They would have to be willing to give it up, and try like hell to not do it, ever, EVER again. (Yes, I'll be paying attention.) It's a nasty habit, as well as dangerous, and it frequently can get disgusting. I can deal with scars, but it's a horrible thing to do. As I said, it's dangerous, and one of my exgirlfriends almost died. So as stated, she would need to stop doing it. Either completely, or she'd need to be making a VERY solid effort to quit.
I'm not unsympathetic. I'm really not. However, since I already dated one who nearly died, I think I have sufficient reason to not want to go through that. I mean really; Who want's their significant other to accidentally kill themselves? Who wants to see someone they care about hurt themselves, over and over again, until they almost die.
So yeah, with self harm, you're not completely unable to find someone who will date you, but it hurts your chances, and when they find out (and they will find out) you might drive them away. So seriously, I would recommend seeking help. This is not me being a jerk telling you "get help, you freak" this is me telling you with genuine concern, seek serious, psychiatric, and psychological help, and work hard to break that nasty habit, as soon as possible.
Honestly, I think the insomnia will be harder to fix, but I also think it's the least of your concerns. In the mean time, best of luck with you on the insomnia, the self harm, and getting a date. I seriously hope things look up for you soon.4