Would you date someone who selfharms or has insomnia..?

give reasons please...i want to know if a selfharmer has a chance at dating and being loved.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First off, Insomnia is not a big deal. I have it. I've battled with it on and off my whole life. I've had many relationships with many people, and I've even dated a few fellow insomniacs as well. It's manageable. It's a little awkward sometimes, for one or both parties, but it's something that can be dealt with pretty easily. Most of the time, it can be a complete non-issue. So don't worry about that.

    The bigger issue is self-harm.

    Self harm is a huge turn off, but it's something I can deal with. I've dealt with girlfriends who have done it in the past, and it was pretty sad a lot of the time. Though whenever one would try to blame it on me, I would hit the bricks because screw that crazy, manipulative crap; I have NOTHING to do with someone else harming themselves. It's self harm. SELF.

    But yes, I've dated girls who self harm. They would have to be willing to give it up, and try like hell to not do it, ever, EVER again. (Yes, I'll be paying attention.) It's a nasty habit, as well as dangerous, and it frequently can get disgusting. I can deal with scars, but it's a horrible thing to do. As I said, it's dangerous, and one of my exgirlfriends almost died. So as stated, she would need to stop doing it. Either completely, or she'd need to be making a VERY solid effort to quit.

    I'm not unsympathetic. I'm really not. However, since I already dated one who nearly died, I think I have sufficient reason to not want to go through that. I mean really; Who want's their significant other to accidentally kill themselves? Who wants to see someone they care about hurt themselves, over and over again, until they almost die.

    So yeah, with self harm, you're not completely unable to find someone who will date you, but it hurts your chances, and when they find out (and they will find out) you might drive them away. So seriously, I would recommend seeking help. This is not me being a jerk telling you "get help, you freak" this is me telling you with genuine concern, seek serious, psychiatric, and psychological help, and work hard to break that nasty habit, as soon as possible.

    Honestly, I think the insomnia will be harder to fix, but I also think it's the least of your concerns. In the mean time, best of luck with you on the insomnia, the self harm, and getting a date. I seriously hope things look up for you soon.

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What Guys Said 6

  • well insomnia I can't really get mad about as long as she doesn't try and keep me up all hours of the night (although I bet we wouldn't be getting any sleep anyway XP)

    self harming is a little different I have dated girls who were cutters (that's what I'm imagining your talking about) and I would mind it cause I would want to see somebody I cared about hurting themselves but id be understanding I used to punch myself in the face whenever I got angry I mean we all have ways of coping I'm not gonna get angry about your way its more sad than anything but again hopefully if we like each other she wouldn't need to anymore X{P

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  • the insomnia is something I wouldn't know until I dealt with it.

    as for the self-harming. I've dated a cutter once. the issue wasn't the cutting it was what was behind the cutting, the insecurity, mental issues, etc. I loved that girl but that girl didn't love herself and thus was really incapable of truly loving someone else. So I'd have to say I probably couldnt' date the person. However, I would be their close friend and try and be there for them and help them in anyway I could

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  • Insomnia is a total non issue for me. Self harming is a deal breaker for me. It would be too painful for me to watch a loved one hurt themselves like that. She needs to work past her issues and stop hurting herself, then I would be willing to give her a chance.

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  • I would on the premise that she would eventually stop self harming though. And insomnia probably wouldn't be an issue.

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  • This will probably be pretty similar to some of the posts below...

    Insomnia - I haven't had to deal with that, but I think it would be manageable (though difficult if your are both in school or have jobs)

    Self harm - once you are comfortable with him (please forgive me if this question was not from your point of view), let him know about it and tell him why. I dated a girl who attempted suicide (not while we were dating, thankfully) before - she told me about it once she was comfortable, and that did not change my love for her; the only thing it changed was the depth of understanding I had with her. The guy you date may be able to help - just by being there for you to talk to and to comfort you in times of distress - I would search for such a guy.

    Best of luck!

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  • No I personally wouldn't. I think relationships are challenging enough without having to deal with that too. But of course selfharmers have a chance. But rather than worrying about getting a relationship, first you need to improve your mental health.

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What Girls Said 3

  • insomnia- yes

    self harm- no at first because he needs help.

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  • not really, it will only add drama and I already have too much of it

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  • I woulndt care about the insomnia but I woulndt date someone who self harms I would help him and thing about a relationship later on.

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