Am I over analysing things and thinking the worst?

i have been dating this guy for 7 months, we get on great when we are together. I spend the weekends over his house. I don't see him during the week because we live an hour away from each other and we both work full time. I meet him on a dating site. he was my first and I gave up my v card to him. he hardly ever calls or texts. I always call him after work. he sometimes doesn't pick up. he's got an ex whose had his child but insists she's nothing to him and she was a mistake while he was drunk. I know he wants to see the kid but the ex makes up excuses as to not meet up. she knows about me, I have spoken to her. he's still on the dating site and adds girls on his Facebook. I was made to delete my dating account and all the guys on my Facebook. and phone. he even wanted my password which I gave him after a huge fight.. it wasn't that I'm hiding stuff, cause I'm not, its more about trust. he says he wants to marry me, he's got me on his phone as wife when I call. he's spoken to my mum telling her how much he loves me. he hardly ever tells me he does. is he playing me? I love the guy so much and I can't see my life without him.. my birthday was last sat, he told me I would get my present this weekend.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The guy sounds like an a**hole, and not even the cool, james dean, devil may care kind of a**hole, who at least would be a sh*t ton of fun, whisk you away to exotic places, and treats you like a rockstar.

    Any person who controls you in a relationship, is not a great match, it means they have trust issues, generally what will happen is some cheating will go on on his side, because he thinks that your are having a bit on the side, if he's controlling I would imagine he would then try and blame you, and if your soft you may take the blame unjustly.

    controlling guys are also great manipulators of situations, which means they say the right things to the right people at the right time.

    I know he popped your cherry, but in the grand scale of things he is one of many who will be with you throughout your life (or not many, but you get my drift)

    So my advice is to get some distance take a break, stop being there at his whim, and see if he actually wants to play the game properly, that involves a bit of chasing, some romance, and getting rid of his past demons.

    I know this kind of guy, because I was this type of a**hole for 3 years of my life. Now I'm just a devil may care tpe of guy :)

    good luck


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 7

  • Trust your gut feeling. If you suspect that something fishy going on, it is probably true. The fact that he still has his account open in that dating site would annoy me. If he keeps adding more girls on Facebook, it is a true sign that he is doing "something." I think he is still trying to keep his options open. Some men love their women but don't say it. But actions are louder than words. So do you feel loved? If not, you are probably the main wife, with bunch of other co-wifes..

    • i think your right, I called him like 20 times tonight and he finally picked up. he was cranky cause I went to lunch with a friend on Wednesday after work. he thinks it was a male. I tried calling him while I was with her but he never picked up so he could talk to her. he said he messaged me saying to call him, I didn't get the message but we spoke on Wednesday night and he was fine. I have proof it was a female I was meeting because I messaged her on Facebook , lucky I did.. i

    • You do not have to prove anything to him what are you 12? Is he your mom or dad? I hate seeing girls in such a situation its messy, saddening and just hurtful. No human being deserves to be treated that way. I say this because I was a victim to such a guy except mines was super nice most of the time and he spoiled me rotten, yet he was controlling and manipulated me. I stayed because I thought I wouldn't find another guy like him and he dumped me 2weeks after he begged me bk & that hurt more

  • OMG honey what have you gotten yourself into

    Don't worry it happens to the best of us

    First of all an hour away is not far my ex and I lived 3 hrs away I worked full time he was a med student and we saw each other 3-4 times a week. Sleeping over at weekends is convenient to him not you. He is using him. Him barely calling is a clear indication of this. if you care about someone yo would check on them.

    He is a controlling person leave before you get brutally hurt, the fact that you were a virgin, he preys on your innocence.

    Pretty soon he will do you wrong and says its your fault.

    He has no respect for you the fact that he says he wants to marry you are mind games. run too many red flags it won't end well with you, save yourself an intense heartache

    You think you love him you don't know better

  • No you're definitely not suffering from analysis paralysis.

    he sounds flakey.

    your instincts are telling you something and

    your body is feeling discomfort as you observe this man.

    What a control freak.

  • when a relationship does not have trust it will not work out. but you also need to make sure you talk to your boyfriend so he understands how you are feeling. my boyfriend always questions me about my guy friends, and he claims he trusts me. but when ever I ask about his dirl friends he kinda gets defensive and that worries me. ask him about why he is still on the dating sight and in a way that doesn't sound non trustworthy ask about all the girls he adds on Facebook

  • no, you really arent

  • no, you aren't he is just being an a**hole

  • hes bad, you aren't over thinking it, I would get away from him.