Why do girls date the a**hole but friend zone the nice guy

I've always wondered this, Why do girls date the a**hole but friend zone the nice guy? Wouldn't you rather date someone who actually cares about you rather than dating you for your good looks and sex?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • they think they can turn the a hole to someone who can be sweet and caring plus have that edgy rough attitude. I know its really stupid but honestly in the end they want everything to be according to them! I like humble kind and gentleman type of guys..a hole thing only lasts upto high school years or maybe beginning of college years! when it comes to settling down with someone I would want him to be the type of guy who describe for friend zone;)

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    • thanks for the best answer:)

What Girls Said 25

  • A lot of self-described "nice guys" think they are entitled to a girl's affections and/or vagina simply because he is nice to her, which in actuality isn't very nice. They also tend to group every guy who is better looking, more assertive, and more charismatic than them as an "a**hole," which also isn't very nice and it isn't often true.

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  • There's more to it than being 'nice'. You have to have chemistry, common interests, common life goals/ambitions. These things matter. You could be as handsome and 'nice' and 'good at sex' as possible, but if you don't have that true connection, it won't work. Usually when you hear a girl go, "All the good ones are taken", that's USUALLY what they are talking about. And I don't know about the rest of you ladies, but I don't look at a guy and say, 'WOW! He's a total D-Bag! I *SO* want to date him!' And self proclaimed nice guys aren't always as 'nice' as they think they are. (I'm not saying you yourself are or aren't nice, because I don't know you personally.) In most of my experiences, when I turn down someone, I usually get, "But...I'm such a NICE guy!" or, "Oh I see, it's because I'm a 'nice guy', isn't it?". That is not handling things the way you are supposed to. That is not only an attempt at compromising the girl's character, but a cheap cop out to make yourself seem like the 'better person' out of retaliation. And it happens no matter how kindly the girl lets you down, no matter how sincerely apologetic she is and not wanting to hurt your feelings. I'm not saying there aren't girls out there who are only focused on shallow things, but do NOT let yourself fall into the trap of being in that 'nice guy' mindset. Obviously, if you really ARE a nice guy, people WILL notice. The RIGHT people, anyways. You will find her. Just be patient (easier said than done) and don't let yourself become jaded and bitter, which is how 'nice guy' comes across these days.

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  • cuz they shallow, they don't know the value of an amazing personality...

    or their just trying to hurt themselves=/

    id never date someone purely for looks. personality is way more important. their inner beauty will have an effect on their outer beauty for sure

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  • I would never friend zone a guy only because he's "nice". If I'm friend zoning a guy its because he's either unattractive, boring, negative, lack sex appeal,etc. Being "nice" is a great quality. don't you think the guys you refer to as a**holes are "nice" in the beginning to the girl? Do you think she friend zone him for being nice. NOPE. she becomes FLATTERED by his kindness and she doesn't friend zone him. That's because she already likes him or something about him. so him being nice doesn't negatively hurt his chances. in the meantime you have a guy that's either unattractive, has no confident, boring, zero sexual attraction, etc and he's being nice...that's not gonna make her like him. I'm not saying all nice guys are unattractive. I'm just saying if a girl friend zone a guy its not solely because he's nice. I've dated jerks who were sweet and nice in the beginning and in the beginning I liked them a lot.

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  • There's no such thing as friend zone as in a place you find yourself, you were always going to be there. There are guys girls are physically attracted to and guys they aren't. If any guy has a decent personality they can be friends. If they have a spark they can also be more. If they're dating/f***ing someone who they wouldn't be friends with then they are just satisfying the physical, nothing more and that's cool. A girls gotta have fun, no hearts broken, everyone's happy.

    Why do guys always want to call themselves nice guys and the guys getting some a**holes? I'm sure many a**holes think they're nice too. Just a general observation I've made on GAG. I've never heard the two terms used together so much.

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  • Friend zone guys NEVER take initiative! They just sit at the side lines, and I do NOT date guys that live life like that. Friends are one thing but a partner is a totally diff thing.

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  • Just because you're nice to a girl you're attracted to doesn't mean you're boyfriend material.

    I usually friend zone guys do to lack of sexual attraction. He's either not my type or acts like my little brother like in a goofy little kid way.

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  • two reasons that I usually notice

    1- nice guy not as attracting (physically)

    2- he has no game is not fun to be around with

    3- is too much a girl

    okay so its three reasons

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  • Blah blah blah, same old story. I'm dating a nice guy. A genuine nice guy. Assholes are a**holes, I won't even be friendly to them (because I'm not exactly a nice girl). Don't complain, just find a better girl. Maybe this guy is a real sweetheart on the inside, or at least an animal in bed.

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  • we have different definitions of nice guys.

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  • To me that's because the nice guy is also shy and feels intimidated, so deep down he is not acting natural and has a hidden part of him that is waiting for a release.

    The stud on the other hand might be an a**hole, but at least he is genuine about it & we know that if we get attached too much : we're the one to blame.

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  • If you like a girl one thing you should never do is treat her like you treat a friend it will turn her off do the opposite you can be nice to her but put some mystery .

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  • For me personally I hate to say this but its not that women want to date an a**hole, it just usuallly turns out that guys that are more attractive are a**holes because they know they can get a lot of women.

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  • I want the nice guy but I want him to have a badass side of good qualities like protection, and a man's man, a jack of all trades, plus willing to kill spiders.

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  • Cus girls are stupid and like that kind of stuff. They love the thrill that those guys bring. But that's some girls and not all. Remember that...

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  • Girls prefer bad boys

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  • Oh, what an original question. Lol This isn't getting old at all. :P

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  • Women are like that at younger age, and so are guys. Why do younger men like women who are more provacative? Same reason, when you're young you don't care and wanna have fun. I should know I'm 16 haha

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  • cause their stupid

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  • Most guys in the friend zone always put blame on the fact that they are "nice". Yeah, lets forget about looks or personality. You are in the friend zone because you are "nice".



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  • because they don't know any better or because the nice guy doesn't really understand he has to act like a man too, respect us but take mattersinto his own hands

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  • Nice guys tend to be more on the shy side. Some girls might like the nice guy but they don't really do anything to show the girl that they like her. Jerky guys do. So when jerky guys give attention to girls they like that. Also once the girl realizes that the guy isn't that great they usually think that they can change the guy or that the guy loves her so much that he would change for her. Most girls would rather date a guy that cares about her.

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  • not every guy that says he's a nice guy is actually a nice guy.

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  • Nice guys are boring

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  • No attraction or chemistry to nice guys.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Girls don't date buttholes. Girls date awesome men who actually do things.

    Girls don't friend zone nice guys. Girls friend zone p******. They already have one; they don't want two.

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  • Pretty much the color of money.it's the same regardless of the guy, and the a*holes tend to have more of it than the nice guys. It's not more complicated than that.

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  • Seriously even though I hate the way that is but this topic has been beaten to death way too many times!

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  • that really pisses me off

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  • Because girls (Keyword: GIRLS!) are weird dude.

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  • Let me also add Do you really expect any female users on here to answer truthfully? You have a better chance of the following.

    1) Winning the powerball over and over again

    2) Robing a bank and getting away with it

    3) Swimming the English channel and living to tell about it

    4) Finding Big Foot

    5) Finding a long lost treasure

    I can go on.

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  • Wow some hostile answers on here. Here's what I think (but its only my opinion)..

    There is obviously a difference between nice guys and a**holes but my friend it depends on the girl and what she thinks of a particular guy, not what he thinks he is. She might think he's a nice guy but he could be an idiot and treat her like crap. All you can do is be yourself (which could be a bummer if you are in fact an a**hole) haha, and let the girl think what she wants. I think being a nice guy is being friendly and do your best to treat women right and after that let em think what they want. Any decent girl will be able to sort the a holes from the nice guys anyway...best of luck!

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  • Most of the guys who fall under the "bad boy" category are very confident. Most of the guys who fall under the "nice guy" category are timid; they can't stand up for themselves. Women are more attracted to the confident guys who know what they want and go for it.

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