Am I expecting too much from men?

Be honest please. I just have an immensley hard time finding a boyfriend. I don't think it's because ugly or bitchy, I don't really know. I go to college full time and model part time, which is unfortunatley a very superficial industry that makes dating a bit hard

Well anyways, what I want in a guy

-having a reasonable amount of ambition, like having a decent job and if they're still in college knowing what they want a bit and not spending 8 years on their undergraduates.

- being reasonably attractive. I know it's very subjective but I really think I'm very accepting. Based on looks I'd date most guys I know. The only thing I really can't stand is him being overweight

- for the future someone who is not afraid of commitment. Obviously I don't a family in the next few years, but I do want it someday and I'm not afraid to say that. I'm not looking for sex only

- can take charge sometimes. I think in many ways I'd prefer a more traditional relationship, so a man who takes charge of a situation sometimes is hot.

Is it too much? I honestly don't think it's anything I couldn't fullfill myself.

I recently joined a (free) online dating site and while I did get messages I wouldn't consider dating a lot of them because they're in their mid 20s or even around 30 and have no idea what they're doing in their lives. Often unemployed or still in college. I hate that, but they often say that women tend to exceed men in that area (statistically) so is that all I can hope for?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I thought your list would be longer than I expected...lol Isn't that pretty typical of what any woman wants in any man? So no...I don't think you're asking for too much.

    I fit into 2.5-ish outta 4 categories...lol attractiveness is subjective and commitment still scares me just a weeee bit. :P I got the career, ambition, assertiveness down. Started my career at 22ish and been with the same for almost 5 years. If it wasn't for being assertive...I would've been chewed up in the corporate environment already lol

    So...don't lose hope! But chances are you'll never find us because with us ambitious guys...we're sorta glued to our careers and jobs. :P

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What Guys Said 8

  • I think that young people, in general, don't really want or aren't ready for commitment. I've just graduated with a degree in Electronic engineering, and we had so few females studying engineering that, for the most part, we didn't know how to talk to girls. Finding someone who has, at this age, dated enough to know exactly what they want in a long term relationship is hard. I say give it time. Its great that you know what you want, but we're still only young.

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    • I'm actually studying engineering too. And I don't know even though there are tons of guys I still don't really know how to talk to them either

    • I'm sure there are loads of intelligent, hard working engineer guys that find you attractive but don't have the courage to say it. How often do you try to get to know them?

  • Nah that's not expecting a lot from a guy, it's just that a lot of guys in their early 20's aren't worried about settling down with one girl, they are usually living solo and doing their own thing. I figure most would calm down by the late 20s figure out thier lives, get a stable job, and start searching for something more real.

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    • I wouldn't mind dating someone older though if everything ws right. That's the thing though I can forgive a guy who is 21 that he's not really sure where is life is heading, the same is not so forgivable at 25

    • Yea I gotcha, I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to date someone who knows what he wants. I'd want the same thing. I'm just saying the younger the guy usually the less likely he is to have a set plan. Try dating a guy in his late 20s or something then. Or just be patient and wait, you're only 20, lol.

  • I don't think your expecting too much from A MAN because it seems like you do a lot yourself. you should look for someone with similar ambition levels as you, don't expect ALL MEN to be as ambitious as you or else you are expecting too much from men. I'm guessing I'm similar age to you ~19, so I can tell you that most guys I know (our age) arnt really take charge kind of people, I'm pretty sure that comes with a little more time. good luck I think your doin just fine :D

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    • Ok ya, I meant A man, but I can't even seem to find one . I know most guys around my aga (I'm 20) aren't that mature or ambitious, but I don't mind dating older people, Like up to 10 years older than me

    • yeah tbh youd probably need to date older or just try to have fun rather than looking for a relationship

  • Wanting a man who takes proper care of himself, and has ambition is not unreasonable. A large part of the problem you're finding is due to the bad economy. And men are at the forefront, taking the worst of it. It's leaving a lot of potential prospects look rather grim. Also combined with the quagmire of social issues that come from growing up poor, and/or broken families is making things even worse.

    This doesn't solve your problem, and I wouldn't cut men to much slack, as a moocher will drain you dry. But I think this is what's causing the problems you're seeing.

    I hope I wrote everything in an understandable way. I often have a hard time phrasing what I want to say correctly.

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    • It was very understandable. It's just so frustrting. I've never had a boyfriend , so never kissed anyone or had sex either and I don't want to do that with someone I can't see myself staying with.

  • too bad we haven't met I have no issues with models:)

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  • no I don't think so

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  • I doubt you'll find many 'stable' men in your age range(18-24). The norm just isn't like it used to be, not many people graduate high school go straight to college and graduate at 21-22 then work the same job till they retire. It just doesn't happen like it did with our grandparents.

    That being said, I would focus on hanging around highly technical/scientific colleges. I went to a University that had mostly engineering degrees and was full of other nice guys who knew exactly what they were doing with their lives. Eat lunch around these places, shop, coffee etc. You'll run into plenty of us motivated, employed guys there.

    Speaking of which, all us guys with real careers are MUCH more likely to be seen out at lunch than in the afternoon.

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    • Actually I'm majoring in mechanical engineering and I go to mainly engineering/science college, but I feel guys in my class, even though they're nice, are not really on my maturity level (not to sound arrogant) and I barley have any contact. I just don't rellt know how to talk to them and I guess they don't know how to talk to me either

    • I also don't mind seeing someone older than me, like up to 30

    • My degree is in engineering too, and many of my classmates were involved in serious research and internships with Fortune 500 companies. The majority were pretty mature. I do agree that males in that culture may be a little shy and avoid contact with women, that doesn't mean we wouldn't open up after a little conversation.

      And I don't know your age, but I'm 27 now and have really only had success with younger women. Perhaps a ~22 yo woman and 25-30 yo men are about on the same maturity level

  • I don't think it's too much but you will have to prepare yourself to be disppointed because a lot of men don't fullfill your requirments there days

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What Girls Said 4

  • No

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  • calm down.

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  • i don't think that is too much!

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  • no I thing the list is not big nor complicated.

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