To the ladies who use online dating...

How many emails do you get from guys asking you questions about things in your profile like interests and such and how often do you respond? And what would make you not respond (aside from obvious questions like can you send me a picture of you in a 2 piece, and would you want to get together for some casual sex) Thank you for your feedback! Please try to limit anonymous answers as I have every intention of keeping your answers inside


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, I get way to many E-mails (I'm on J-date)... My online dating profile has over 2,500 E-mails in the mail box! If someone doesn't fit my basics (right age, lives local, attractive, good height, finished school and their profile isn't too weird or dull) I won't even open the message because guys can see if I have and I don't want to waist either of our time... Sometimes I don't even open a message of someone who is my type because I'm dating someone and it's getting close to exclusive... But it's more about if someone seems genuine and isn't trying to hard... If I get a message on a Sunday-Tuesday it usually says something like "Hey, I came across your profile and I just want to say that you are absolutely beautiful and sound like an awesome person, I'm sure you get this a lot. (guy then makes joke about meeting a humors criteria mentioned in my profile). How was your weekend?"

    • So what are some topics of conversation that turns you on to messaging him back, given that he meets all of your criteria?

    • Telling me how cute my dog is usually works as a good icebreaker but it's more of a guys quick whit mixed with charm that keeps my attention (rather than the topic of conversation), that he seems genuine, and interested in finding love but isn't desperate for it & he has his own balanced life & fun.. Someone who will explain to me what their job is & won't just say lawyer, sales, finance... I like getting into details, because it shows that we're genuinely interested in getting to know one another.

    • A lot of guys may initially have intentions of finding love, but attraction can get in the way for them & they say things to soon because their goal become "get laid." While a woman wants to know a guy finds her attractive, she also wants to see signs that he's selective and isn't rushing into things just to get laid. Everyone wants someone who's selective, it makes you realized how special you both are for choosing each other & sets the tone for respect of each others individuality & boundaries.


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What Girls Said 4

  • i used to but not anymore. all online guys that I've talked to want to see naked pics and sex with me... a few were actually interested in my interests, but I had to end it due to the scums who only want to talk about sexual stuff

    • same here, they all just want sex and the men themselves have admitted to me that they don't respect the women on there(pof to be specific)

  • I get so many emails per day and I don't even have a profile pic!

    • lmao I'm not surprised at all! How many do you usually respond to?

  • People don't read nowadays. Especially profiles. People seem to be a lot more interested in other things, aside from getting to know you. Specifically, online "dating".

    • just like girls ignore guys who aren't good looking

    • Yeah I guess some people are like that. Not everyone (me included) because I actually want to get a conversation going, even though after I prove that I have read their profile and craft questions based on what she has in her profile (usually not much) but usually questions about interests, I still get answers that are completely useless and god forbid she asks me any questions even if she previously stated that she wants to meet me. Online dating is really confusing!

  • I wouldn't respond if he's (1) overweight (2) not white (sorry if that offends) (3) lives too far away (4) is less educated than I am. If (3) is the case though, I would usually say it won't work because you live too far away. I also wouldn't respond if he's very not attractive, but I find most men at least somewhat appealing as long as they are at a healthy weight.

    • equality at its finest

    • Show All
    • So you wouldn't date a white guy with brown hair? Because you mentioned you that you prefer white men, I do too, don't get me wrong but hair color does not matter to me

What Guys Said 2

  • Considering they have the luxury of practically guaranteed messages from SOMEONE, they can afford to be picky.

    Me, I answer every single one. Why? because I get on average one response every 20 messages I send with structured and relevant short paragraphs. I very rarely get anyone sending me a message on their own, and even then it's not the most thoughtful. I usually only get "Hi". But I can't afford to be picky, so of course I'm going to answer.

    It's a woman's market, and if they don't like the way you look, there's always someone better they can talk to. -Regardless of how kind you are, how well you can structure a message that is engaging and relevant to them, or how well written your profile is.

    -and for some reason I notice I attract the attention of a lot of fat chicks and girls I don't actually like. (With the ones I don't like I try to get responses by testing new methods of messaging on people I'm not attracted to at all, at random) It seems it's nearly impossible to get the attention of someone I am attracted to, even after all my testing.

    I've found out if you simply type "Why are you here?" as a message, you get more people to talk to you because they feel the need to fulfill such a personal question. Go figure. Maybe they feel insecure when asked that.

  • The dating game is harsh, probably even worse online. Thanks for asking these questions.