I went on a date, and now she won't stop texting me. non stop.

We met online, and she looked pretty in her pics. Of coarse she looks different in real life, they all do lol. When we met up for a date I still had a good time with her, but I don't think she's what I'm looking for when I'd like a long term relationship.

She's a really great woman and all, but I just don't see me being with her... Now she's texting me ALL day and EVERYDAY asking what I'm currently doing. I have absolute no clue how to tell her to "chill out" a little bit.



How can I tell her this without her being hurt?

Updates:
Okay, I did what (mostly) all of you told me to do. I messaged her a polite way to telling her that I'm not interested and she responded.


Me: "Hey Ashley, I think you're a really cool girl and I had fun spending time with you on our date. But I don't see us being together in the future. I apologize if this disappoints you."


13 hours later...


Her: "Why would you message me after our date, if you feel I'm not good enough. If you were uninterested you should have just left me alone."
I never told her she wasn't good enough. I was interested in meeting her, which is precisely the reason why I took her to the next level and go on a date. I didn't know how to tell her that I wasn't interested in her after our date, so I posted this question. The date was 2 days ago...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If she really likes you which she seems to do, there is honestly no way you can tell her without hurting her feelings even if you are nice about it.

    The only option I can think of if you want her to top texting you is to call her and tell her, "You seem like a great woman, but I do not see myself making further romantic plans with you in the future." If she does not answer leave a voice mail.

    Also if you are really tired of her texting you, download one of those fake number apps, and when she text you, tell her that that is your new number from the texting app.

    If she keeps bothering you after that I would just block her

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What Girls Said 16

  • If I were you, I would saying something like this:

    "You know, I'm glad I met a great person like you and had a great time on our date, I really did. But I want to be honest right now to avoid leading you on by saying that I don't think it will work out between us. I hope you understand that I mean this in the nicest way possible."

    That should be good. If a guy said something like that to me, I'd actually appreciate it. Just make sure to be gentle or she might end up going psycho or something lol.

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  • well think about it from her perspective. you were interested in her "personality" from talking to her before meeting up. so she probably thinks you didn't like the way she looks and so changed your mind on her. unfortunately any excuse you come up with is going to seem like an excuse. there is really no nice way to reject her now. sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. you have already said what you feel. I think you should just let her move on now and not contact her anymore.

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  • She'll get over it. She just obviously doesn't know how to take rejection in a graceful way. Don't feel bad you did the right thing.

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  • youre not interested in her wtf does chilling out have to do with it.

    just tell her you're not interested. you're just being insulting at,

    shes not going to throw herself off the brooklyn bridge because you don't want to date her.

    just be an adult and treat her like one. untl then you're effectively wasting both of your time.

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    • it wasn't wasting both of our times if we gave it a shot and tried. Like most things in life, it takes experience and effort. I need her to stop texting me is what "chill out" has to do with it. Get the stick out of your ass and understand what is being asked toulouse

    • you said you're not interested in her NOW. I'm not talking about w/e time you needed to make an assessment. you already know you're not interested so just tell her instead of judging her behavior because you can't be direct.

      what does the past have to do with being honest _now_?

    • I didn't even mention about the past. I'm actually asking HOW to tell her that I'm not interested. Your answer didn't help my question, in fact it hardly made sense. Let alone you were kind of a b***h about it too.

  • Shes obviously irrational and hurt. You did the right thing. All you can do is hope she finds someone who loves her and move on

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  • There's no way to tell her without hurting her feelings a little.

    Just tell her straight, or stop responding to her altogether.

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  • Well, you could give her the one word response "How's it going?" "Good." until she gets it and stops.

    Or not reply at all.

    Or you could always tell her to f*** off the nice way "How's it going?" "Good. Listen, Fanny I don't think we're a good match. We had a good time and all but you see we're completely different people and it's not gonna work out. Sorry"

    Between you and me, was it because of her looks? Not gonna judge.

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    • I don't judge entirely by looks, but I wasn't attracted to her as much as I'd hope and I simply don't have the time for a serious relationship now.

  • well it's done - she sounds immature and insecure. You did the right thing

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  • Don't reply for a couple of hours. When I mean a couple however long until you want to text her again .

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  • Tell her you had a good time but right now you have other things on the go etc..(fill in the blanks) and say maybe you can get together as friends some other time, have lunch but you're not feeling the romantic vibe. If that doesn't work, just fade to black..eventually she'll get the hint..

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  • simple: tell her to stop texting you, tell her you enjoyed yourself but you don't think it will work out. It's better to know right away how someone feels - why do guys always think that lying about something is the best answer? just be honest and polite.

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    • it's because sometimes women don't interpret what we are really trying to say, we'd rather communicate these subject indirectly and see if they get the hint before we "lay down the hammer" on them. It's showing sensitivity to feelings for women we care about. Lets both agree, some women are ego CRAZY

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    • it's because sometimes women don't interpret...

      youre trying to avoid confusion by being confusing?really.

      Option. deliver the SAME message directly and clearly or indirectly. HOW can you possibly think you're being kind by rejecting her indirectly? rejection sucks so why drag it out. what are you afraid of-shell try to chop off your ma parts? .

      No one asked you to be indirect. all it says is you don't value the other persons time. if you did you would be direct and get it over with.

    • toulouse, let's both admit that you would feel butt hurt if a guy you liked told you in a VERY direct way that he's not interested. So when that is the case, you'd want him to be more considerate of your feelings when he tells you things like that... This boundary varies with girls. Some are overrating sensitive, while other could care less. That is why I'm using an indirect route.

  • tell her you are busy. every time.

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  • Lie and tell her we will discuss this on our next date.

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  • You're going to have to deal with being "the bad guy." Just part of it.

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  • How does she look different? Bad different?

    I'm meeting a guy from online and I don't want him to think I look uglier irl lol

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    • post recent, accurate photos of yourself, your normal hairstyle, etc. Your preparing them what to expect when you go on the 1st date. Leave them no surprises.

  • Something like, "Hey Mary how's your week going? Hopefully good. I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed meeting you, you seem like a really greart woman! I wanted to be up front with you and let you know that right now I'd really like to keep meeting and dating other women. Hope all is well and please take care". Boom, done.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Easy dude...EVERYTIME she texts you...tell her 'we can discuss this on our next date". After you tell her that a few times...she'll stop.

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    • Really? I tend to believe men for the most part, say what they mean. So if some guy told me that, that would lead me to believe that there WOULD BE a next date.

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    • I agree. That's pretty cruel. You'd be keeping her hanging and giving her false hope.

      Tell her you're not interested so she can freaking move on.

    • Be honest with her but do it gently as girls are sensitive

  • Dont' get sucked into her emotions. You did the right thing. If she keeps contacting you, just block her #.

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  • yikes. Listen...not telling someone the truth to 'spare their feelings' will never work. It hurts more when people aren't upfront with you.

    Say something like (and dont' text this) "hey, I had a very good time with you on the date. However, I don't think we are compatible - so I appreciate your time, and hope you find someone who is a better match, soon. Thanks!"

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  • dont reply for a really really long time...it'll drive her nuts and she'll assume you're a crappy communicator and she'll get fed up of your 'antics' soon enough.

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  • borderline personality disorder

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