Can women ever really be unable to get a date?

I've seen some questions on here from women saying they can't get a boyfriend or never get any attention off men. I don't see how this is even possible. Every girl I know will get hit on at least a few times every night out and occasionally during the day too, even if they aren't attractive. I don't see how a woman could be unable to get a date unless she never leaves the house.

Hell even without leaving the house she can use online dating. From experimenting I know that even obese women get more messages than average looking men. On a forum I post on some guys crossed a woman's face with a pigs using photoshop and made a profile for her, needless to say she still got messages from men looking to date or sleep with her.

Can women really be unable to get a date in the same way men are?

Could any woman hit on 250 guys online and another 50 in person over a 2 week period and not get a single date? (this is what I did to try and get a date 2-3 weeks ago, obviously I hit on girls not men)

Updates:
I notice how all the women saying they really can't get dates have ignored the last part of the text above... have any of you ever been rejected 300 times in 2 weeks? If not I really don't see how you are unable to get a date, you just haven't tried yet.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, I think any woman is capable of getting a date, there just unbelievably picky. No wonder their single.

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    • Great answer!

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    • men are picky too .. why shouldn't women be ?

    • this is a ridiculous answer

What Girls Said 24

  • It's not about being able to get a date... We girls have more trouble getting a guy who meets our standards. I'm sure we could get a date we tried, but the hard part is getting a date with the right guy for us.

    Like my best friend, for instance. She's beautiful - thin, large chest, pretty face, blond - and she's also smart, funny, educated, and sweet. She could get a date if that's all she wanted. But she doesn't want to date just any guy she can get. She wants a guy who's religious and doesn't drink or curse or want sex. See the dilemma? It's about quality not quantity.

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    • BA for you :)

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    • I second that BA nomination

    • But surely if you can get a date, then you shouldn't complain about not being able to get a date... As its not true lol

  • Some women really can't get a date at all, but when most women say they can't get a date, they usually means that they can't get a date with they type of guy she wants. She might be a good woman with good morals and a great personality. She wants to find her other half that has the same morals and qualities. She doesn't have to date someone who she thinks might not be her type of guy.

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    • I agree she doesn't have to date someone who isn't her type. However she needs to recognise that her not getting a date is a symptom of her type being too selective, not because men are at fault.

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    • Mantobee, all you do is say girls want good looking guys but I have not seen you say anything that makes sense and related to the the question. I don't know what women you've met who want perfect looking guys and won't settle for less even if they are average but I've seen plenty of girls who looked better than their boyfriends. The guys usually have a good personality and confident even if he's average or ugly. They didn't whine all the time when things didn't go their way either.

    • Also, take into consideration for example men who prefer a certain type of girl. For example blondes. He can't say that he can't get a date if he only prefers to date just blondes. If he does not expand his dating pool, because I rarely see natural blondes. My point is you can't expect to catch more fish in a smaller pond

  • "On a forum I post on some guys crossed a woman's face with a pigs using photoshop and made a profile for her, needless to say she still got messages from men looking to date or sleep with her."

    But that's not what most women are looking for. Men that will even hit on a pig? wtf? who wants to be with a guy like that.

    The problem is not in not being able to get attention from guys, but rather in not getting attention from the right guys. I get hit on by all the wrong guys: old creepers, stupid flashy guys, hell even a homeless man hit on me once. Do I want to date any of them? Not in a million years.

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    • That isn't being unable to get a date then. That is not being able to get a date who meets your standards. Its not the same thing.

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    • have you tried? And what's average and below average for you? I just can't seem to grasp this below average-average-above average concept. I didn't grow up giving scores to other people's looks so I don't really know. I mean, I know good looking, other than that, I'd usually just say "I don't like his eyes" or "he's too skinny" or "he doesn't look strong".

      If you go for an early 20s obese girl, I'm sure you'd get a date.

    • 'Have you tried?' - As it says in my question, I was rejected 300 times over a 2 week period.

  • It means she can't find a guy actually worth her time who she likes and who likes her for more then the fact that she is a female. There is a difference between dating and getting hit on. For example- Iam 16 and work at an arena as an usher. That arena can hold up to 10,000 patrons. Some of the shows will bring drunken horny guys between 5 and 55 years older then me asking me if I get a break or what time I get off work. It can also bring hot guys my age or a little older who I would be interested in but who won't be interested in me. See the difference?

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    • If you refuse every guy who hits on you, its hardly fair to come online and say you can't get a date. Not being able to date the people you want isn't the same as being completely unable to get a date. If a guy came here and ranted because he can't date Cheryl Cole and only average women he doesn't want hit on him I doubt he would get much sympathy.

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    • It doesn't prove that women only care about looks. It proves that like many guys, they have their own standards and vision of what they want in a relationship

    • Never said I couldn't get a date. You can tell a difference if a guy is actually interested in yoy raher then other stuff, not to mention I will never, ever date some stranger who hit on me while he was drunj while I was working.

  • it is possible. I am unable to get a date. not all women get hit on at least a few times every night out, not for me.

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  • Women can get dates, they just do not want to date someone who they find unattractive. Sometimes I think SOME women go on one date and really do not really give a guy a chance even though they find them physically attractive, the reason why I say this is because I know women who will go on one date and act like they are getting married on the date and this will scare their date off and she will not get a second date. Also I think women who are clingy and act desperate can scare some guys away, some guys do like this but I think if the guy is use to getting attention from women then this will be a major turn off. So I do not think the issue for women is not being able to get a date, but being able to keep a guy's interest long enough so that he wants to be in a relationship with her. Men have standards too as well so if the women expects to get asked out and he is not her type he may want sex but definitely not a relationship.

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    • If I would point out any problem that I notice in women generally, its that some are a bad gauge of their own attractiveness. One thing that guys who aren't that attractive don't do often is act as if they are God's gift to man. However, I do often see a lot of really unattractive women look down on perfectly fine guys for no good reason. But at the end of the day, I think women generally give men more chances to make up for deficiencies in the looks department. Men can be unforgiving

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    • them attractive. she has admitted that she does not think she looks good enough to get the certain type of guy she likes in real life but she sure does act like she is a 10

    • btw she has NEVER had a boyfriend even though she has been approached by men before

  • Well here in Australia it has become quite hard to get a guy to ask out a girl, unless they are both drunk and she is willing to hook up that night...it's sad

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    • signs that girls should ask out too

    • @mantobee I would also like to say something that I missed in my answer, not only are some women afraid of rejection if they do ask out guys, but what is a good time to ask out a guy? I mean I asked out a guy BIG MISTAKE and he said he does not even know me yet we hit it off REALLY well, actually so well that people who I did not even know thought he was my boyfriend. My best friend thought he was fliritng with me in a way that he liked me and she is pretty blunt

    • @mantobee I knew this guy for over 2 months as well

  • yes. due to body language or facial expression personality

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  • its not that a girl never gets hit on but what kind of guys hit on her, most girls have a type of guy they would like to date in mind and they not going to just date a guy cause he's male and they want a boyfriend.

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  • Yes it is hard for some girls, I know a girl she was so ugly and had even worst personality when we tell them that girl is looking for them they would leave college and tell now I never seen a guy hitting on her or asking her out

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  • Yes

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    • Explain.

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    • As I've said to many other answers my profile and messages aren't the issue. I used the same profile and messages with someone else's pictures and did fine. The issue is I am too ugly for women to be attracted to.

    • Well looks like you found a gem because I wouldn't date you solely on your personality because looks wise to me you're attractive

  • Yes. I'm sure ugly and obese girls Don't get hit on as much as average and pretty girls lmao.

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    • I'm sure they don't. They still get more options than even average men though.

    • @QA I know a girl who I am friends with she is pretty but has always been obese eversince I knew her, however she always had a boyfriend even if she got dumped. But it was not because she got hit on it person it was because she was meeting these guys online at mocospace so I do agree that big big women still can get a man because she is obese and they obviously had to message her online

  • Yes its possible not to get asked out or get a date example me

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    • do you only want good looking guys ?

    • If that's you in your pictures its so blatant that you are lying. You'd get hit on easily if you went out or created a profile for online dating.

    • nope not lying and no I try liking all different guys and they don't like me

  • Yep

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  • Internet dating isn't like real life dating...who the hell gets hit on over 300 times in your age group in real life?! Besides when online dating people tend to try hit above their league cos they don't face direct rejection, their egos can less damaged. While online dating, people write way too much on their profiles (half of it is exaggerated anyway) so they don't give people a change to discover them.Also whining about why you get rejected is not gonna improve your chances. You need to change your approach or whatever ypu've written on your profile. Women judge a lot by what a man wrote and men by how good the pics are. Try tweaking some stuff or better ask a woman on the site how you can improve your approach or profile. Preferably someone that rejected you cos I'm sure they'll know why. And be ready for criticism and changes.

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    • On a side note. You don't even seem to like women, you sound like you resent them. And maybe that comes across? Bad vibes.

    • Not at all. I love women. They just hate me.

      My profile and messages worked fine when I used someone else's pictures.

      As for aiming too high... I messaged about 90% of the active women on the site who were near where I live so I wasn't only going for supermodels.

  • Umm I have never gotten a date. I'm physically fit, leave my house pretty much everyday unless I'm bedridden. I can't get a boyfriend or male attention from guys my age, so there's at least one woman who is unable to get a date.

    Guys aren't as desperate as you think. They have options, and the guys that don't have options at least THINK they have options.

    I don't do online dating though and never will even if that means that I won't get a date any other way.

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    • Then you aren't unable to get a date. You are just unwilling to do what you need to do to get a date. I don't believe that a physically fit woman could go out to bars and clubs and just be ignored by every guy. All you would have to do is smile at someone and they'd be there in a shot, you probably wouldn't even have to do that. Online would be even easier.

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    • I used the same profile and messages with someone else's pictures and had plenty of success. How could my looks not be the issue?

    • If you used pics of a guy who looks like a male model then yeah of course you'd have more success. People who are incredibly good looking can get away with a lot more than the rest of us can. The same applies to both girls and guys. It has nothing to do with what you're implying.

  • When I was overweight, even overweight men rejected me.

    I didn't get asked out until I was 24, only AFTER I'd lost over 100 pounds.

    So yes, some woman have trouble dating too, of course. It's impossible for many.

    Even now, I never get approached by men. All of the boyfriends I've had only became that way because I made all the moves. It's just the way it is for some people, regardless of gender.

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    • Well I'm not overweight and overweight women reject me. If I lose 100 pounds I'd only weigh 55 pounds so that isn't much of a viable option, unless I cut my limbs off.

      Did you have to approach over 300 to get one date though?

      Furthermore I seem to remember you saying before that you don't frequent bars or clubs (where most people try to meet partners), if you went to those and used online dating you would have plenty of men chase you.

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    • Nobody compliments me in person so I doubt that is the reason lol

    • Okay.

  • My friend is gorgeous, quirky and really funny...she's 25 and any er had a boyfriend! She liked one guy for ages but he never did anything. It happens even to attractive girls like my friend. She's not flirty so maybe that's her hang up

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  • There are some girls who get no attention from guys.it happens

    think of super obese women, do you think guys regularly approach them? What, if any, options would a woman who is like 275 lbs have?

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    • at least a fat girl can lose the weight . We can't lose an ugly face

    • I'd agree she probably never gets asked out in person. However on online dating she has more options than average or even above average men. Even a woman with severe health problems like you said has more options than me or other below average looking men.

    • im going to die alone :/

  • Women will forever have more options than men. That's just life. That being said we don't always want them. When a woman says she can't find a date, it means she can't find a guy that she wants and that's perfectly fine. Just because men are willing to choose any woman, doesn't mean women should lower themselves like men do. Men have no standards at all when it comes to sex and dating. They just want her to be pretty. And call women shallow. Irony at its finest.

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    • Do you know or meet every guy on earth? No so stop generalizing. Women are shallow there's no way you would date a homeless guy no matter how nice looking he was/is.

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    • As for Ragazza, you can't remove answers just because you have a hunch the person isn't who they say they are. One needs proof, not theories.

    • Whatever. Gogo is a chump

  • understand this, getting laid is not a problem for most women, if we all wanted to just have one night stands and don't care who it's with, our lives would easy. But finding a man who respects us and actually like us IS very difficult. girls might get big numbers but most of those guys hitting on us are just trying their luck, they don't actually particularly care about us,



    Also I find most men have this way of when they speak about "women" getting what they want, they only mean the hot ones they want to date, not the average, plain ones who are basically invisible to them and barely counted as female.

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    • I agree with her ^

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    • is this the same answerer as above? I know that people can answer twice or so I heard

    • no I only answered this Question once...

  • Yeah that's possible.

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  • I am,... cause I won't get outta the house..

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  • Women can get dates online, but most unattractive women never get asked out in real-life. Plus the online dates don't work when the men see what they really look like. For instance, I never got asked out in real-life, not once. And I'm not even ugly, just a bit overweight. I'd probably get some offers if I lost the weight. But my point is that some women are completely unable to get dates.

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    • and guys who aren't good looking like me can't either . At least you can lose the weight

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    • To the question asker: They can get dates, but they don't get called back. Guys aren't that rude to run away during the date, but they won't try to arrange another.

    • Very unattractive women can still get dates then, that's a step further than me.

What Guys Said 16

  • I really find it hard to believe a woman who says she can't get a date. That date being a great one, is a different story..but the opportunity to get it in the first place is always there.

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  • It's impossible for any girl to say "I don't get hit on."

    It is reasonable, though, to say, "I don't think I like any of these guys asking me out."

    Fortunately, I talked to my date today about something like this and three things came up:

    When I was a needy, boring, neurotic guy, ANY girl who would just talk to me will be put on a pedestal. But not so any longer when I finally got control of my life and had loads of self-confidence. Men, especially great guys, are very visual. "We see, We like, We chase." So, ANY girl who really takes care of her hair, skin and clothes will never be unnoticed, even if she looks nothing like Aphrodite.The appearance you put up gives us an idea of the kind of woman you might be on the inside.

    Secondly. Women who do not smile are not attractive, even if they're gorgeous. Smiling, for a woman, denotes a very receptive personality, respectful and honest dispositions, and you will be most likely be hit on more times than one who pouts or just maintains a blank face.

    Thirdly, how do you interact with your environment? Your friends? Strangers? A whole lot of things are observed by smart men before they ask you out. A guy wanting to get into your pants will not care if you disrespect those around you or lie about every fact recorded in history.

    Like men, women also need to get their own lives together if they can ever realize their dreams of being swept off their feet by a quality man. As for being obese, I don't see how one can be obese if they watch what and how much they eat and sleep. And I haven't seen a totally ugly girl, ever.

    I adore women, a lot, and many times the girls who really turned me on are those who were very clean, smelled good, had very strong boundaries concerning friends, relationships and sex, yet were very outgoing and less suspicious of guys wanting to just sleep with them. And I won't hesitate to do what is necessary to show that I want such a woman by me.

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  • yes when she died

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  • actually, when most women SAY they can't get a date, is because they don't ever make the first move. they still expect men to be either mind readers, or men to make all the moves. wake up women and welcome to the 21 century! women have equal rights as men...time to earn em, git off yer butts and go after the man you want!

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  • When women say they can't get a date, what they mean is that no man that meets their standards has asked them out. It really means that they haven't gotten a date, not that they can't.

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  • I really don't think looks are the be and end all when it comes to relationships. Obviously I'm not delusional and I understand looks do play a massive part but there's so many reasons why some people are single, could be out of choice or they could have a major flaw I.e. they have commitment issues or they struggle with keeping a conversation flowing. So to answer yeah I think it is hard for some people to get a date including women.

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  • A women can get a date in 5 minutes if she was desperate. That is why women can be picky because there is always a surplus of guys throwing themselvs at them. Yeah a lot of the guys might not be ideal to look at or be with but can you imagine what it feels like getting up every morning knowing that no matter how bad things get there will always be someone out there?

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  • As long as she's at least average a looking, most girls can get a date fairly easily. Typically the only reason a guy will outright reject a girl is if she is overweight, or just very unattractive. On occasion there are other reason a guy might choose not to date a girl, such as potential drama, work problems, etc. But all things aside, if a girl is relatively attractive, most guys will rarely turn her down for a date. That's just the reality. Guys are not wired to be picky.

    I also have a real life experience with this phenomenon. Even within my own family. I have a sister that is only 2 years younger than me. So for all intent and purposes we are the same age. I'm easily what you would consider the more successful. I'm far smarter, college educated, mature, have money, don't really have any emotional baggage or serious health problems, I'm sociable and outgoing. Basically I'm just an all around normal guy. My sister on the other hand doesn't have a lot going for her except for her looks. She's not super smart, she's on the 8yr plan to get out of college, she has lots of health problems as well as serious emotional baggage, she has a lot of very strange habits, she's obsessive over her looks. Basically my sister is not what I would consider your star citizen. However, since she is relatively attractive, she has not been single for more than a few mouths in the last 6 or so years. I on the other hand struggle to get dates. Again, it boils down to the fact that guys aren't as picky as girls.

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  • Dude, throwing a pity party about having a hard time getting a date never solved anything.

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    • There is no way to solve me not being able to get a date.

      This isn't meant to solve anything. Its meant to encourage discussion on the differences in dating for men and women.

  • I think everyone as a whole has gotten rejected in some point of our lives. Anyone who says they have never been rejected is out of touch with reality.

    That said, I honestly don't know if "obese or overweight women" get approached, messaged on dating sites etc. Maybe that have, maybe not. Who knows? But I am pretty sure average and above average ones have many options. They can afford to be picky. Way,way,way back in the day women were more open minded with men. Even average or below average men had no problems getting dates

    In the modern days, being that they are more independant, you'll notice now the pressure is on men to look good and be weight healthy. I do think men are more pressured to look good. Notice many older women sleeping with younger men.

    Guys it sucks, I hear you. But we do have to look good in this day and age to get a date. Deal with it.

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    • Deal with it?

      Okay I'll go back in time and try and make a different one of my father's sperm fertilize the egg in my mothers womb. I can't change the problems with my appearance. Its genetic.

  • Having a vagina = always able to get a date/mate.

    When girls say they can't get a date, they're only thinking of the guys that they want.

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    • fancykat1 - "when most women say they can't get a date, they usually means that they can't get a date with they type of guy she wants."

      Exactly.

  • I've seen it, but on a smaller scale. Every now and then I am relax at a two-story Barnes and Noble and I will see an attractive woman walk in on a Saturday night. I sorta go into creep-mode and look up at her from my book while I'm seated in a good vantage point. I've seen her stand next to guys, walk in their way or other extremely passive things just to get their attention, and I see her walk out disappointed like 20 minutes later.

    Maybe a bookstore isn't the best place to go if you're looking for a date. Though it's easy to weed out the guys who are only cruising for p**** at that place, they stick out like a sore thumb LOL. I guess I'll just say they can get a date, but their approach is wrong. Which holds true for like 99% of guys too.

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    • 99% of guys have the wrong approach because they don't look like this. link

      Going to a bookstore for 20 minutes and not getting hit on doesn't mean you are unable to get a date. I could spend 20 years in a bookstore and not get a date. Do you think those women wouldn't get hit on in a bar or club, how about online?

  • No , even if she is obese she can get dates

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    • This is true incase in point my friends brother Girlfriend she's huge.

    • yet girls want perfect face and body to date a guy

  • LOL I know right? Women and girls can and know they can get a date faster then any guy can get a date. Women have no idea how lucky they are when it comes to dating or getting a date. And not only that but most not all of these women love to play the gender card. A women can us her sex appeal to grab guys attention, if a guy did the same thing, he looks creepy and desperate.

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    • You can take a woman and a guy off the street, put the woman in a room with 100 different men and I bet all of them will talk to her. You now take the guy put him in a room with 100 different women and I bet not one of them will approach, unless he looked like Brad Pitt.

  • They can get a date just not the guy they want

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    • This they all seem to want good looking supermodel type guys.

    • then they call us shallow and all they want is perfect face and body

    • @Mantobee agreed if a woman was put in a room with an average looking guy and a supermodel type who do you think she'll pick? Take away his personality and over traits.

  • I totally agree with you on this. I certainly feel that its impossible for any woman to not get asked out at all, even if she's really bad looking. When these girls post that they never get dates, its not like they never get asked out. Obviously guys would have asked them out, but then would simply have rejected them. Women these days have pretty high standards. They expect to be asked out by guys who have looks to the level of Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, so when average looking guys ask them out, they reject them. Then they post questions here, stating they never get dates.

    If a woman posts that she never gets dates, then its perfectly possible due to the reasons I mentioned above. But if she actually says that she never gets asked out, then you can be pretty sure that she's lying through her teeth.

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