Is it really better to have more in common with someone you want to date?

I mean I've dated girls who I have a lot in common with and girls I've had nothing in common with and for me it was much the same.

People always say having a lot in common is a good thing, personally I feel it could be actually quite boring, I mean my interests are games, music, films/television etc... and I know most of them inside out, can someone really have a conversation with me about something I pretty much know everything about? It'd either go that they have conflicting thoughts or they'd completely agree and it'd not go very deep.

Whereas dating someone with interests I know nothing about, if someone talks to me about something I know nothing about or had no interest in it could actually be interesting to hear about their views and so on. Again they could have interests that bore you to tears...

As I said, I don't really discriminate over peoples interests... I'm quite open minds. But do you think it's better to have a lot in common, a bit in common, or do you not care and just go for whoever takes your fancy?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends on attitude. If you're both willing to share and get into what the others' doing you're in for lots of fun. Things won't get boring easily because one's knowledge and interests may be a whole new world for the other. The downside would be that each one needs patience and an open mind to try it and there may be some interests/activities the other dislikes. It can require lots of energy too, and depending on the occasion he/she might not be willing to dive in.

    On the other hand, having interests in common guarantees an easy way to share an activity both parties enjoy, and makes it easy to have stuff to talk about. (might backfire if someone seems to know all about it like you mention though).

    I'd say balance is the best. That way you can share and dive into new stuff but if it gets tiring/awkward/not enjoyable you can always go back to what you both like.

    I think every couple is like that, anyway. In most cases there will be some interests in common and some that will be new for the other.

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What Girls Said 9

  • You don't have to have a lot in common. Your mutual trivia are meaningless. What does matter however, is if you have the same value. People who don't have the same values end up arguing in extremely unhappy relationships or divorce. Values are the motives for why you do things, what you value. You may not have things in common, but you may have the same values. For example, your girl could like video games and you could like sports because you both value competition. But you could also have some things in common, which have different values behind them that you don't both have. So maybe something to think about?

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  • I think it's good to have a bit in common. But I disagree with you , I think if you have a lot in common the convo will be deeper than if you have nothing in common. Just Cause I feel like I'd just agree with the person more if we have nothing in common.

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  • We should ultimately share common values and what similar things but we shouldn't be a mirroring image of each other

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  • I think certain common interests are important. Maybe like religion, political stance,ect. The little similarities don't matter too much.

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  • I think it is important to have some things in common but that doesn't mean you can't have a good relationship with someone that has little in common with you. I personally think people get a long better with someone that they have mutual interests in but on the other hand oppsites attract.

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  • I think common interest start a relationship well but different interest balance the relationship and keep it on its toes, but if you want to end a relationship, all these things are canceled out

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  • yes it is much better, because then you enjoy the other person more.

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  • No not really

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  • I don't think you need to have a lot in common, but you should be open to new experiences. If you meet a girl who's also into games and films, then you can watch movies and play games together. But if you meet a girl who is really into nature and hiking, that's fine, as long as she is willing to watch a film with you and you are willing to go on a hike with her.

    Similar interests makes it easier to connect in the beginning because you have something to do and talk about, but having different interests can be really cool because you can share these interests with each other.

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What Guys Said 3

  • well I think having a lot in common doesn't necessarily mean that they can't offer anything new. my girlfriend and I have similar interests but I still find that I can learn plenty from her as we have different life and daily experiences.

    I do agree that some differences are good I think to make things interesting. But having someone who enjoys similar music, past times, movies, etc I just don't know how that's a bad thing.

    even if we have similar interests, lets say music, it doesn't mean that they can introduce to something new or lend a new perspective

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  • I think the best is a mix. You want to be able to enjoy some main things together - like hiking, traveling, whatever - but also have separate interests so that you can educate each other. If the interests are too similar, then I'd imagine your lives meld in an overwhelming way, while if they're totally different, then there's no common ground.

    Personally, I just go for whoever takes my fancy. I like discovering common and separate interests about a person as I get to know them better (goes for friends, too). If things don't pan out, then I stop escalating.

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  • I think you need common ground but you also need enough differences to keep it interesting

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