Been together 6 years married 2 years and now wants break

I have been with my wife since I was 16 and she 15. I love her to death. We also have a two year old together.Ill be honest I have cheated on her about 3 years ago. But I have come to realize she's all I want, our problems started about a month ago. she accused me of cheating and to not fight I ignored her. She got mad and said its over and deamnded I leave. I said no that I wasn't cheating annd that she is taking this too far. Well now I'm sleeping on the couch sad as hell that I might lose her. One night I pick up her phone and read her messages. I see she talks to 3 guys from her job but one she talks with the most. it wasn't normal conversation it was oh yeah carino(like honey in Spanish ) and other sweets names she used to call me,. when I asked her about it she flipped out and said he's a friend from work.That she talks to him like that as a joke. We argued and she confessed that she's been talking to him and texting him.That she turned to him instead of me when her grandpa died. She has only been at the job for about 4 months and made close friends with guys real fast. AS for me I've been treating her well. She works full time and I part time. When I get out of work I cook and clean the house while taking care of our son. I just feel like she has been cheating. hould I feel this way? She said she stopped texting hi, like that but my curosity lead me to read again and this guy is textingg her sexaully like saying he's having dreams about her on top. She lol and says that sounds like fun. I need help please I'm so sad


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She might not physically be cheating right now but emotionally she is relying on someone else. This may be cos there's something lacking in your relationship. The best thing to do would be to sitdown with her and talk. Ask her why she feels emotionally distant, what can you do to help, what does she want. Be ready for some criticism too, you may think in your eyes you are doing everything right but the recipient may not have ypur same view and your view doesn't translate the same way to her. Also, if your wife is accusing you of cheating, don't ignore her...that's not beneficial and extremely damaging to the relationship.

    Does she know about your cheating from 3 years ago? If she does, perhaps that trust you lost has always played on her mind and now that this other guy is gicing her attention, it may in some way remind her of what you did in the past.

    Also, some guys are like that, as in they talk sexually to women. Clearly the guy has no respect for the fact she's a married woman and just may be enjoying the attemtion cos somethings lacking in your relationship...of course it's wrong that sje's doing that. When you address your issues with each other may be you could mention that she shouldn't turn elsewhere and you can help by listening to her when she has concerns. From what you said, it sounds like she doesn't feel close and is simp

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    • Simply getting some emotional support and attention. I've never been in a relationship for that long but I'm assuming that it can get easy to take each other for granted. Make her feel appreciated, ignoring her no matter how incorrect she is won't help you guys grow.

What Girls Said 8

  • It appears as if you're both losing the connection. This is one problem with being in a rel. with someone at a young age til now that you are just so attached. This can be really tough, but I don't understand how she seems to be in a different reality knowing that you already have a family. I suggest you mention this to your parents too. If they know your situation well. Also try to get a one on one convo with her about everything, what's going on, what does she thinks about your family, and what made her think you're cheating. Cause it can also be on your actions. For me it sounds like she doesn't trust you anymore. Tell her everything you feel about her, how you've been treating her, make her feel guilty on even making you sleep on the couch. That's way too much if all you did was be nice to her.

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  • Okay well I hate to say it but these problems most likely wouldn't even have come up had you been faithful and not cheated : /

    Seeing as you two are each others' first loves, you're MARRIED, and you have a child together it is a HUGE puncture to the relationship for you to cheat on her at this point. She may always feel like she needs to be suspicious because once you do something like that once, it's easy to do it a second time and now she knows that you are capable of cheating on her just like that. Sorry dude, but it's a huge blow to a woman's confidence to be cheated on. She's probably thinking "What was it I did to make him cheat? Or didn't do? Does she have something I don't?" it just really makes it hard to trust someone who cheats on you because ideally your husband is supposed to respect your bond and love so much that he would excercise some self control.

    However, the way she talks to that guy is innaprorpriate. Point blank. Usually when someone says they want a break, they mean they want time to date, f***, and/or flirt with another person without having to feel guilty about cheating. Yes, you should feel like she's cheating because it SOUNDS like she's cheating. In the least, emotionally cheating. Men and women should not be investing themselves a lot emotionally into members of the opposite sex when they are married. It's not approrpiate at all and it usually strengthens the connection that leads to physically cheating.

    Another thing is, you guys got married when you were kids. So naturally, the adult versions of yourself are going to be curious about other people. It's really not smart to get married so young because you're going to evolve and outgrow yourself. Your desires and personality will shift. That's when you also outgrow former love interests. So this may just be her being curious. I think you guys need marriage counseling.

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  • I feel that this is a lesson for you, sorry to say that. You cheated on her 3 years ago and now it bounce back to you. What you are feeling now is what she could feel if 3 years ago she discovered your affairs. You may need to talk things out with her and calmly

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  • you cheated on her, now she's cheating on you. Either work it out or break up..

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  • Unfortunately, it seems like karma came back around to bite you. Regardless, it doesn't give her the right to do what she's doing. This relationship is toxic. If you're both willing to work it out and go through tough times to be together, then therapy is an absolute must.

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  • I feel like people aren't really formed to who they'll be... can I ask the reason you married so young? You're probably different people now... with different goals/directions in life. You've grown up... Is it even legal to marry that young?

    I feel like this is a relationship that should have ended a long time ago. You cheated on her... which is bad... but she STAYED with you... which was also bad... it was like you thought you could work out out after that... when really, no one can. She's an idiot for staying... it's a really sad situation now that you have a child involved too.

    I think you need to end it. You overcame what you did and got passed it... she may or may not have... but you need to focus on the present... it's not working. I think that this is bigger than what happened years ago (cheating). I think that you've grown older and grown apart. You married young, it's understandable. If she isn't willing to cooperate, then you should let her go. Give her a piece of her own medicine. It's going to be a long road ahead of you... but it sounds like you got past what happened and that she clearly isn't that committed to you. It's unfair to you. You could try couples therapy, but if that doesn't work, it might be time for a divorce... you want to be happy in life... you may have to leave her and start over.

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  • You cheated on her. Now you can feel the pain

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  • you guys got married so young

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What Guys Said 4

  • First off, don't ignore her. Instead, communicate with her and acknowledge the pain that your transgressions caused her. In addition to taking ownership of your actions, acknowledge the fact that you have given her reason to be insecure and bitter, and now seek to make things right again between you two. That, in and of itself will help the healing process for her.

    Secondly, treating her right, alone, will not suffice to change her resentment and trust issues. You need to bond with her again; for example, spend one on one time with her, reestablish the friendship you once shared, and drop any behavior that will cause her to doubt you again, to turn the tide in you favor.

    Lastly, give her the attention she needs from YOU. Studies have proven that that many women cheat because there is an absence of attention, affection and excitement in their lives. With that said, do the things you initially did to win her over.

    Good Luck,

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  • Yes, it sounds like she wants out of your relationship, so she exaggerates her reaction to your cheating 3 years ago to justify what SHE is probably doing now.

    A lot of people have to justify themselves by being overly critical when they want to break up for their OWN reasons!

    I think you should take her advice; sooner or later it will become obvious she is cheating, and that will be a worse situation than what you have now.

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  • This is not about her, this is about you. You need to man up a little and ditch her. The problem is that you won't and you will learn the hard way down the road. Good luck and keep us posted.

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  • Yup she's been cheating. Time to call a lawyer.

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