I lost my husband now 4 years ago. Just began dating a man I've known over 9 years. While dating this man I've noticed he does not handle stress well. Although he has really shown me that he is crazy about me in many ways, he is confusing to me whenever he asks for me to back off or give him his space as he tries to meet a deadline with submitting his dissertation towards his Doctorate degree. I have no problem with giving him his space and I've been quite supportive but I guess I don't understand why he calls me up to 5 times a day on most days, but won't see me but maybe once a week sometimes less than that. and we live less than a mile from one another. I also must divuldge the fact that he is a bit older than me and in his late fifties. He is doing things like taking me places, having lunch with me, calling frequently, telling me he loves me, and has a trip planned for the bahamas in two months with me. He says he doesn't want to lose me but that he is just overwhelmed and tired and stressed out.. needs his space.. I have never had to deal with anything or anyone like this and so I'm so confused about this. I wonder if I am being played.. I wonder if he is being selfish and is full of B.S. has someone else he doesn't want to let go of, etc..etc.. He tells me when his dissertation is over we will return to some form of normalcy but I don't understand how he could push me away like this and basically expect for me to hang in here with him. I have needs too! Am I being selfish? Is he being selfish? what should I do besides give him the space he needs? should I let him go? please help, I am so confused about this rightnow.
Most Helpful Guy
"he is confusing to me whenever he asks for me to back off or give him his space"
How is this possibly confusing? Give him his space, like you claim you have no problem doing.
" I don't understand how he could push me away like this and basically expect for me to hang in here with him."
Yeah, crazy that someone in a relationship who thinks their partner loves them, would expect them to support them through a difficult time. Clearly, he's nuts.
Have a life outside the relationship. Give him his space. Enjoy your holiday in the Bahamas.0