Girls, would you get offended if on a first date a guy doesn't pay for you, but only for himself?

So you and a guy decide to go out on a date. It's your first date together and you go out to some place to eat or something like that. He then puts enough money just for himself which then leads for you to pay for yourself. Would you get offended?

  • Yes, I would get offended
    23% (5)0% (0)14% (5)Vote
  • No, I wouldn't get offended
    14% (3)13% (2)14% (5)Vote
  • I would get offended just a little, but not a big deal
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  • I would actually prefer we pay for ourselves
    27% (6)53% (8)38% (14)Vote
  • It depends/other
    13% (3)34% (5)20% (8)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Seriously as a girl, I donĀ“t get how girls get offended because a guy does not pay for dinner (especially on a first date). I mean we want the same jobs, to earn the same salary, basically we want gender equality and then you stick to things like “he has to pay for dinner if he cares about me”?. Why would he have to have more expenses so you can enjoy (or not) a date TOGETHER. Same salary - same bills - same cut on the check.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Yes. I wouldn't be overly offended but I would be somewhat annoyed, it's just bad manners. If HE asked ME out on the date, then he should pay. My policy is whoever asks the other out should pay. If I asked a guy out then I would be willing to pay as well.

    Once the relationship progresses and we get to know each other better then I'm fine with it. For example, I've been with my boyfriend for 4+ years and when we go out, I'll pay for myself or he'll pay for one part of the date (dinner) and I'll pay for another part (the movie or something like that). But why ask someone on a date if you expect them to pay for themselves? That doesn't make any sense to me. And no, like I already said, it's not just because he's a guy, it's because he's the one who asked for the date.

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  • Yes, because the whole idea of inviting someone out

    is pretty much saying that you are treating them.

    When we familiarize ourselves with each other I wouldn't mind paying my own bill.

    But the whole idea of a first date, is to try an get another one.

    Not show that you are cheap.

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  • I probably wouldn't go on a second date. In my dating experience, I've taken the guy paying as a sign that this is, in fact, a date. If he doesn't pay, it's no different from me hanging out with a friend. But I only expect the guy to pay for the first few dates. Once we get into a relationship, I'm more than happy to pay for him or split the bill.

    And because I know guys are gonna ask "What if you're the one who asks him out?" When I ever ask guys out, I pretty much always plan a free date such as a walk in the park. And no, I don't mind if a guy does the same.

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  • I would be thrown off because I'm used to guys paying for me. I don't think I'd be offended though, I probably just wouldn't be interested anymore. I mean if I invited a guy out I'd pay so I expect the same in return.

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    • What if he sticks to free dates where bills are not a concern so he can get to know you? I have done coffee dates with tons of girls over the years from online just to never hear from them again. If those were all dinner dates, I'd be broke.

    • I don't care about the price of the date as long as it was fun and I got to know the other person better. I'm just saying that if you asked me out to dinner I would expect you to pay, but free dates are always welcome. :)

    • QueenTiffanyB87 I think has it right. Regardless of gender, the person who did the asking or arranged the plans should pay.

  • I'd be a little offended, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it. I'd think, "Am I so boring and unattractive that he won't even offer to pay?"

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  • Did he ask me on the date? If he did then id be a bit offended unless we agreed to pay for ourselves before hand. Also I don't keep a lot of money with me, so that'd be another issue.

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  • Well depends how old you are... If your older than 15 probably yeah and I don't think your less than that... Its not offensive but its kind of a turn off, feeling like your not being taken care of... If she wants to pay, insist a little but then finally let her pay

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  • Ha, no. I never go to dinner with anyone without being prepared to pay for my own food, unless they tell me beforehand it's on them.

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  • Nope I usually always pay for myself unless they offer.

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  • I think that on the first date he must pay. If they go on several dates then both can pay some things. For example if they go to the movies the guy pays the tickets and the girl the popcorn. Hope it makes sense

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  • I prefer that we both pay for ourselves... a first date is more just getting to know someone and so it seems a little hurtful to have the guy pay... I mean, what if it goes wrong on the first date? I always tell guys I want to pay and they INSIST that I don't... and sometimes I've let a guy go after the first date.

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  • You ask her out, you pay.

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  • Whoever asks, pays. That's the way I operate. If I asked him out for that particular date, I pay. If he asked, he pays.

    I wouldn't be offended if he asked and only paid for his. But I think it's bad manners, for a date or just a friendly outing.

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    • If a friend asks you to go do something and it will cost money you expect them to pay?

    • I've learned not to expect it because people just don't.

      But before, I did. Any time I've asked friends to do something, I always intended to pay their way as well, unless we specifically talked about splitting. Sometimes they wouldn't let me, but most of the time people did. But never returned the favor. See what I'm saying?

    • "Whoever asks, pays." Agree.

What Guys Said 6

  • If someone is being asked to dinner, you're basically treating them to dinner. So it would throw them off if you took them out, and left them hanging.

    This is why I stick to buying them a cup of coffee so I get to know them first. It keeps gold diggers off my back and keeps the legit girls coming who actually want to know me. Once I find out they are legit, I'm willing to take them to dinner. If the girl is only interested in dinner, a cup of coffee won't interest her and she'll go back to hunting for a guy who is willing to give her a free meal.

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  • Well, I always pay for a first date no matter what.

    I'll tell you this though...it goes a LONG way with me when the woman at least offers to pay for her portion. Even if she knows I won't allow it, it still makes a big impression.

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  • pay your own way.

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  • I think a girl would, but usually she'll want to pay for the next and we eventually just treat each other.

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  • If the person has a problem with that they are after your money

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    • It's funny how girls say whoever asks for the date pay. The guy asks for the date 95% of the time so it's just another way to say the guy pays

    • That's exactly what I was thinking

  • I think whoever asks the other person out should pay if it is the first date. It keeps women from asking out guys just to get a free meal out of them that way.

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