I'm 23 never been kissed.
Somethings about me:
I'm average looking and a 10-15 lbs overweight looking.
I'm active and go to the gym but I have a medical condition so I'm always going to be above average and I can accept that.
I'm an outgoing person in general and with my friends, I'm loyal, funny and caring and sweet.
I tried so hard throughout college to get dates, I joined a lot student groups and other extra curricular stuff and the most I ever did was make guy friends and now at least I can make guy friends more easily and don't turn super red talking to any guy.
I tried online dating. Didn't have a picture up and msged guys I wanted to talk to. 70% or more stop replying to me after I sent them a few pics but a few other guys kept talking to me. Over the course of a year because I created an account last year on pof too. I had about 4 dates all first dates with different guys. 2 of them were jerks though a lot. And now I'm talking to a few guys via text and most of them eventually stop talking or put no effort in. They will text but then not know how to continue a proper convo. Like yesterday I talked to this guy on the phone who was long distance but back home in my city for a while but studies somewhere else. He called me after I asked him if he wanted to talk he would text and I figured maybe he doesn't like texting but he does text me first. Anyways after 10 min of talking to him and his phone has a bad connection he hung up. Then I texted him and he said he wanted to talk on text/a message app. I did and he asked what I was looking for and I said dating and he said he was looking for "whatever the hell happens really".
After that he never replied and even though I asked him if he was looking for something pretty casual. I thought it was pretty rude he just stopped replying so I told him to delete my number. The next morning he says No he's not looking for that and he fell asleep because he had work the next morning. Anyway, he seems flakey so enough with that and these other online dating guys. I deleted the rest of them that were being weird.
I've tried to look pretty and get noticed and get asked out by decent guys or even lowered my standards to ANY GUY.
A guy friend I made online from last year who claims he's a life coach and he knows all my problems and how I suck at dating because I've ranted to him a lot.
I told him I've read a book, YouTubed all that to figure out how to date and I can't get dates. Get rejected when I approach in real life and then in online once they meet me they are super jerks and have no interest.
He told me maybe the reason I don't get dates is because I need to update my look. I sent him a recent picture which was for my linkedin profile lol And he said I look like plane jane. Which is really weird because I'm wearing foundation, powder, blush and mascara and clearly lipstick in the picture. He said my hair looks plain, but its just normal and straightened. I don't know what to do!
Most Helpful Guy
A lot of guys on online dating send out messages to 20 or more girls, hoping to get a couple back. So when they are talking to you, they are likely talking to several girls. At that point they aren't really into you yet. If another girl shows more interest you will be placed on the back burner. It is just the way it works. You shouldn't take it personally.
About guys not putting much effort into a texting relationship. Guys don't normally text or call someone just to say "hello". We tend to only communicate like that when we feel it is necessary. So I think it is normal that most of these guys wouldn't be too quick to keep something like that going. It just goes against our nature. It is much better to talk to a man in real life, if you want to keep him engaged in the conversation.
I am sure a lot of guys would love to date you, but unfortunately a lot of us are hopeless at approaching or talking to women. There are a lot of really sweet guys that are desperate, just because they just never developed the ability to talk to women. So trust me when I say that there are a lot of guys that would jump at the chance to date you. If anything I think your biggest hurdle right now is your lack of understanding of how men communicate.0