ex fling texts once a month, why when sex is off the table?

We dated for a few months before he started to pull a cold fade, so I broke it off with him and we agreed to remain friends. While we made out a few times we never had sex and I told him I wouldn't either unless I was engaged (I'm a virgin). I heard he started to date another chick very soon after and I haven't heard from him for nearly 6-8 months.

Suddenly, in March, he texted a joke about how we stopped talking as soon as we stopped making out. Since then he would find an excuse to message me roughly once a month, either mentioning he misses me, or wants to hang out, or sees something that reminds him of me.

So my question is this: he knows I am not going to sleep with him so it can't just be a booty call, can it? While he asked to meet up I have been very busy and we haven't seen each other yet since the break up. I am still not sure if I want to see him either. So can anyone help with some insight on his behavior? Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you'd as soon leave him in the past. Because you have not made any effort to meet him I believe your subconscious has already made the decision for you. Let him make his text messages, forget to reply to them and move on.


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What Guys Said 4

  • The short answer is: No.

    The long answer is: We cannot know the intentions of a man who is clearly stupid and has little to no balls to speak of. His lack of dignity is also something frightening to witness and I, as a representative of Mandom, reject him in the name of men of value and culture and wash my hands of him. He is a fool. Do not speak with him. Ever,

  • Maybe, just maybe, sex is not a part of the picture here.

    • So what could it be? That's what I am asking! If he really wanted to be friends then why wait 6-8 months? And if it isn't sex, then what is it?

      One other option I could think of is that maybe he wants to flirt with my friends

  • Well, you said you guys agreed to be friends. However, it seems you clearly don't talk at all. Maybe he wants you to live up to the agreement you made.

    • After 6-8 months of silence? If he really wanted to be friends I figured he would have contacted me sooner.

  • it could be he actually likes you and is trying to re-ignite that fire, accepting the fact he won't get laid by you. Crazy, I know.

    • It is a bizarre concept. I guess I thought if he really missed me he wouldn't have waited so long, right? Would you?

    • It's different for each situation. I still think about girls I talked to like over a year ago. Will I ever text them? No. But that's out of the assumption they don't care/think about me and I don't want to risk that vulnerability of rejection.

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe he feels if he keeps in touch he can have sex with you again or maybe he just wants to be friends. Doesn't really sound like your interested in staying in contact with him. Blow him off.

    • We never had sex and never will (I'm a virgin) hence my confusion.