It's simple but difficult

I've been with my man for a little over a year now. I like the guy a lot, no doubt. We aren't the average couple, in fact. You would never think we're a couple. We don't do any of that lovey Dovey bull sh*t. I'm not an attention whore, I don't need someone up my butt 24/7 lol but romance is needed, some romance at least. I get none! It's all about him all the time. So... I met a guy, and we started texting. He knows I have a boyfriend but we continued to text. All day everyday. We hit it off on so many levels. We were so comfortable with each other. After about a month of texting and hanging out like 3 times, I called it off because I felt really bad. I didn't tell my man about him, I just acted like nothing happened. But since then I haven't been able to think about anything but the other guy, or think that there is a guy out there who is even better for me. I mean, come on. I just want a cuddle buddy, someone to hold my hand every now and then and kiss me... Not a stick in the mud. Wtf do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're clearly not happy with your relationship anymore. This is obvious.

    So I recommend giving your guy a chance. Address the problems you have with the relationship. You don't have to tell him about how there's another guy who meshes with you, but I think you should tell him about what's making you unhappy about the relationship, and tell him that it's serious. Tell him what you need. Clearly and concisely. Maybe do it from a position of concern, with a hint of frustration.

    So tell him what's up, and give him the opportunity to work things out. If things don't get better, I would recommend leaving, and finding that guy, with whom you mesh so well, and see about starting something with him, instead. I mean, you can easily just skip all that stuff I said in the beginning, and go right to being with that other guy you talked with, on the phone. You can. I just think it's a little more fair to give your boyfriend a second chance first. But if you don't want to go through that much trouble, I suggest leaving. As I said, you're clearly not happy.

    So that's what I think your best plan is for your situation. Try to work it out, and leave if it doesn't pan out, or just leave if that seems like too much trouble.

    Best of luck with this.

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What Guys Said 6

  • You need to do what makes you happy. If you're miserable with your current boyfriend and feel a better connection with the other guy, then the choice should be obvious. Keep in mind, that you will feel some 'pain' if you break up with your current boyfriend. It's natural but eventually, you'll recover from it. Also, you need to be weary about the other guy not reciprocating your feelings. If that does end up happening, you could end up losing two guys. It's going to tough but that's life. You need to be strong and do what's right.

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  • You talk to your guy about it. No blaming, no complaining, you simply tell him how you feel, and what you WISH he could help you with by doing. Confess your little text-fling. Let him know how things are.

    Then see how things develop. He can't change too much, but at least you're honest with each other.

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  • That's understandable you want affection. I'm surprised he isn't into that.I wouldn't want to stay with someone like that either.

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  • You like him a lot. wow.

    You want more.

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    • I want a guy whose my best friend and still a boyfriend. He's just my best friend lol

  • Communication is key! Aside from that, why do you and many other girls have pics of them lying face up on their beds? I'll never understand that

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  • You're not happy, and you've already gone pretty far down a bad path before stopping.But clearly the fire is still burning inside.

    I think you need to talk to your guy and explain to him that not getting any affection from makes you feel unhappy, that affection is something you need. Tell him that as much as you like him, you can't keep going like this because you need some of it to be truly happy. Be simple, give couple of examples. Let him talk and see if he gets it. If he isn't I'd say it's dead in the water unfortunately.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Break up with your boyfriend since you're clearly not getting your needs met and go out with the other guy.

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    • Like Johnny Depp said: "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

  • You're clearly unhappy in your relationship. Regardless, you need to be responsible and end it before taking things further with this other guy.

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    • I ended it with the other guy because I started to feel really guilty, like I said.

    • Yeah...I got that. But if you were happy in your relationship you wouldn't have strayed to begin with. You need to end it.

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