I love my boyfriend, but I like someone else..

I first started dating my boyfriend in the 8th grade, and now I'm going to be a junior in high school. We dated for one year and 9 months, then I broke up with him last summer after constanly fighting, and I had met someone on a cruise that I got feelings for. During the time that we broke up, he literally went into depression. People hated me because of him, and the condition he was in. Keep in mind that he lives 60 min away from me, so I see him about once a weekend or every other. We started dating again in April. And its just like this second time go around, my feelings are no where near as strong. When I'm with him everything is okay, but when I'm not I feel like I don't want to be dating him. I've just never met a guy that has cared, cried, and loved me as much as he does. But recently at a church camp, I met a guy. We were just friends at first, but it has grown more that that. I'm starting to get feelings for him. I'm only 16, but I just really need help. Also this school year is going to be really hard for me and the boyfriend. I'm in nhs, track, I have a job, and I'm taking 4 college classes. He is playing football, basketball, and baseball this year. I just don't know what to do. I just can't see me hurting him again like last time...and I don't really want to see him with anyone else. I don't KNOW, please help me :(


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, it is never a good decision to go on dating someone because you're scared of hurting them. Trust me, the longer you hold on to this relationship, the more you're hurting him. Once he finds out that you're feelings are slowly disappearing, he'll feel worst. Feelings can change, that's why you're liking another guy. You don't want to lose him because you're a hundred percent sure that you'll receive the same connection with the new guy. Second of all, think about your future. From all the things that you listed up there, I can tell that you have no room in your schedule for a relationship with a guy who's very sensitive. Take some times off and rethink about whether or not this is a good idea.

    I can tell you from experience that I had to make the same hard decision 2 years ago (I'm also an upcoming Junior). I broke up with the guy I dated back in middle school when we started high school. Not because I didn't like/love him anymore. It was simply because I was moving to a new school (only about 20 min away), but my schedule was hectic. We tried long distance, and that didn't work out at all. I knew that it was my responsibility to settle it with him before we hurt each other even more. He reacted the same way your boyfriend did. I did felt bad. I did felt like I was being unfair to him. In general, I was feeling like I made the biggest mistakes. Why? Because we hung out in the same group of friends. After our break up my friends started treating me differently because they thought I was being cruel to him. So I gave it second try. Second time didn't work out either. I was right. Our schedule were way too complex to work things out. It was hard, trust me. There wasn't a day that I didn't miss him, but I knew he appreciated what I did.

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    • Once he finds out that your feelings are slowly disappearing, he'll feel worst.*

      You don't want to lose him because you're a not hundred percent sure that you'll receive the same connection with the new guy.*

What Guys Said 1

  • Lol age <18. In any relationship there will be times where your temptation is tested, and as a good person it is your job not to fall into temptation. Trust, connection, and communication are generally the most important aspects of a relationship. However, you of course have to ask yourself who is the best suited person for you, and no one can really make that decision for you. You have to decide what's best for yourself and deal with the consequences, though at your age relationships don't mean all that much.

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