He told me I could date other guys, but it was a concern?

I went on one date with a guy who is studying behavior al psycology in University. I had previously told him that I was going on a few other dates with different men and if I liked one that then I'd only go on dates with him. Before he knew about this, he had been a little flirty and said he'd call me that night. After he found out He wasn't the only guy I had a date with, he didn't call that night, although he seemed to have no problem with what I had told him. So I met him up for a date, and things went quite well. I found him hard to read, but I could tell he was a really good guy with good intentions, who was looking for a serious relationship by the questions he'd ask and topics etc. He did not flirt with me though, or even make any comments on how I looked. I mentioned he hoped to see me again, once in person, and then once in text message. I let him know I felt the same way. I texted him a few times after that and for the second time, he asked me about the other dates and if I was also going on a second date with another guy. I could tell at this point it seemed to get to him, so I told him I'd stop dating other guys and just focus on him. He told me it didn't bother him, but that is was a concern. And that it meant a lot to him that I'd do that for him.

Why would it be a concern if a girl you only went on one date with is having a second date with another guy too? Is it cause he's worried he will like me, and then I will pick the other guy? Does he feel it's a waste of time to invest himself in a girl unless she's only seeing him? I'm not sure I fully understand, since I only had one date with him so far.

Anyhow, in addition, now that he knows I picked him, why is it that he still doesn't call me on the phone? He will text me and we will have conversations that way, but even when I suggested he should call me sometime, he ignored that text completely. He also doesn't flirt with me at all still. It doesn't feel like he's interested, yet he tells me he is and we have a second date planed. What doyou think could be going on in that head of his? He k ows many guys approach me on the street too, do you think he's being shy? Uninterested? Or like what?

Updates:
Or does he just not feel special to me?

0|0
1|3

Most Helpful Guy

  • place yourself in the shoes a woman who is dating a guy who is also dating multiple women. Now tell us how you would feel about that? I thought of putting time into someone who may not even choose them makes anyone reluctant to show attraction or attention. He felt worried about this and still will until you make it official. He is playing you off like he does not care to get you to show him that you are really into him and he is the only one.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks, that makes a lot of sense! :)

What Guys Said 2

  • "Why would it be a concern if a girl you only went on one date with is having a second date with another guy too?" > "t I could tell he was a really good guy with good intentions, who was looking for a serious relationship"

    "Is it cause he's worried he will like me, and then I will pick the other guy?" > No one can know. No point in guessing.

    "Does he feel it's a waste of time to invest himself in a girl unless she's only seeing him?" > Probably.

    "Anyhow, in addition, now that he knows I picked him, why is it that he still doesn't call me on the phone?" > Some people just dislike phone conversations.

    "He also doesn't flirt with me at all still. It doesn't feel like he's interested, yet he tells me he is and we have a second date planed. What doyou think could be going on in that head of his?" > Just because a person doesn't flirt as you perceive doesn't mean they aren't flirting. The very act of giving you the time of day may be flirting for him. Depending on his culture, upbringing, and mentality he may not ever act as you wish him to.

    "He k ows many guys approach me on the street too, do you think he's being shy? Uninterested? Or like what?" > Unrelated.

    0|0
    0|0
    • He's from the carabbeana that culture flirts trust me

    • Show All
    • How is saying "The other people's answers are better, go with them" power tripp... this is a trap.

    • Lol oops I just misinterpreted your answer! No it's not a trap no worries, I'm not like that

  • First things first: how much do you like this guy? Is he really so much better than the other guys that you're fine not going on a second date with any of them?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Good point, well I don't k ow him well enough to know. Its only been one date so far. But he's serious unlike many of the other guys. He's looking for a girl to be in a long term relationship with, and he isn't just looking for a pretty face unlike many other the others who just focus on looks primarily. So I thought sure, why not.

    • Show All
    • Pof lets you message and reply to people for free. If you know how to makeout which are the real and serious people from who are the scammers or players, than pof is great.

    • Got it. That's why I'd have figured you for eHarmony since from what I gather that tends to attract more serious people.

What Girls Said 1

  • Of course the thought of you dating other men is going to make him a tad uneasy. I'm not saying it's wrong of you to do so, because it most certainly is not, as long as you are honest with all of the individuals involved. I think once a guy meets a girl he is intersted in, he doesn't want to have to compete for her affection, he wants to know that she desires him and him only. So while your statement may have put him on his toes again, knowing there is competition, it may have been a tad of a turnoff at the same time.

    As far as not calling, or not flirting . . . like the other answerer said, that may just not be his way of communicating. You'll have to pay attention for how he shows affection, it may not be what you're used to. Everyone has their own 'style' of loving. I've talked with my guy on more than one occasion about what I desire from him to feel truly loved and be satisfied. We're not on date two though, we're on year 3 and engaged, it's a little different once you've made a commitment to someone. He as well, tells me what he desires and I do my best to keep him happy. You're just not there yet though, far from.

    Don't worry so much about 'figuring him out'. Just enjoy your dates, getting to know him and take your time deciding if this is someone you want to invest yourself with. There's only been one date, not like you have much to lose at this point. Relax and have fun :)

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...