Being a good listener...A good or bad trait for a guy who wants to date a girl?

Is being a good listener a good or bad trait for a guy who has a romantic interest in a particular girl? I thought being a good listener was a good quality to have, but then I came across a few articles that said that being a good listener can/will put you in the friend zone.

What are your thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you need to be a smart listener. By that I mean, as a guy, you need to always be paying attention to what she does, as well has what she says, and how she says it. You have to listen for the right reasons. Reason one...to decipher whether what she is saying shows she has high or low interest level in you . Most girls won't mention all their problems to a guy they like. If you notice she's telling you all her bad news...problems etc, and asking you for advice...you need to realize, you are becoming one of her other gf's/shrinks, which should tip you off about her interest in you.

    If you are tuning her out when she says cheese pizza is the only pizza she likes, you're going to look like a moron 3 weeks later when you order a supreme for her. This makes you look bad on many different levels. You just gave her a red flag.

    So...to recap. You need to listen when your angel is talking. If you notice she's telling you all her negative problems and complaining...you need to understand those are red flags, and you shouldn't be spending time with girls who do that.

    If this angel is telling you useful happy, information about herself, or family...your ears better perk up...and you better be taking notes!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Of course being a good listener is a good trait. Couples need to be friends AS WELL AS lovers (or whatever), you have to be able to talk to each other, listen to each other, etc.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Why do many people think it's bad being put into the friend zone? I think it's bad in general to expect anything out of a relationship, somehow your always going to find some reason to be disappointed at. PLUS, friend zone is quite nice if you really do like the company of the girl you're with; friendship should be enough. But in my opinion, you're thinking too much. Yes of course a good listener is a good trait for someone who wants to pursue a girl! it's a good trait in general, just don't be that kind of person who makes that trait the ONLY thing that stands out! girls like interesting guys! talk about yourself as well! Being a good listener can never be a problem. THe problem is, your friend zoned because what most guys fail to realize is that they ONLY listen. Give your opinion on the matter, ask her why she thinks that way, what made her think that way. Be confident, be interesting, listen to her ofcourse but also share your opinions and add some compliments ;) that should do the trick!

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  • Girls hate guys who talk to much) Of course you MUST be a listener, if you want a girl liked you (happily it is easy to learn motirex.com/.../ ). But also don't forget to be attentive, responsive I would say. Don't boast about yourself, ask more about her.

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  • Well women do talk, a lot.

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