If a girl refuses to date a guy that lacks a college degree, still lives with his parents, does that make her

a gold-digger? does that describe a gold-digging personality of a woman? what do you think? if she won't date a guy that still lives with his parents and doesn't have a college degree

Updates:
keep in mind I'm only 23, I still don't have a college degree yet and still live with my parents, often times I feel under pressure to rush moving out of my parents house and getting my career established, eventhough I still feel a long ways away from that, it worries and stresses me because it means I probably might have to unfortuneately stay single until I get these things out of the way, and that sucks because I'm not getting any younger and neither are women
The fact that I am a guy it pisses me off that I have to have certain priorities in order that way to attract women, it looks and seems boring
Winning the lottery would be an easy short cut to life success but since the odds are against you when it comes to the lottery that goes to show you there is no shortcuts in life

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You say you don't have a college degree. So are you still in college ,working or what ?

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    • just working at the moment at a grocery store

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    • you weren't, not saying you were, but I love your responses so far, liking your mindset

What Girls Said 7

  • It probably means she wants a guy who is motivated and has a future. She's not a fool, she isn't trying to be a future trailer park/section 8 dweller with a loser for a baby daddy.

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  • It doesn't make her a gold digger. It means she is looking for someone with maturity. No offense but it doesn't seem like you have your life completely sorted yet, and many women in their twenties would rather date someone who has. It's good that you know you have stuff to work on, such as getting your career established and moving out of your parents' home. Perhaps your energy is better spent on that right now, than worrying about your dating life.

    23 is young enough that you don't have to worry about the women 'not getting any younger'. You are in no position in life to settle down with a woman right now, so why worry? Most people don't settle down until their 30s (or close to 30) these days due to a focus on education and career development in their early 20s. It's the smart thing to do. Get yourself established so that when you want to settle down, you're not going to be that struggling husband or dad trying to make ends meet.

    You realize that you are not getting any younger, and while this has no impact on your future with women, it does have an effect on your career trajectory. Others have graduated college by 23 and are starting their careers. Since you have not moved out of your parents' home, I assume that you don't have a proper job or career yet - at least not one that allows you to pay rent on your own apartment. This is where your focus should be if you don't want to be constantly rejected by women who prefer men who are more mature - mentally and career-wise.

    Not only is drive and ambition a turn-on for most women (who wants to be stuck with someone who doesn't appear to have goals?), it is also a signal to them that they might actually have a future with you that does not involve struggling financially forever. It makes them sensible, not gold-diggers. I don't mean to imply that you have no ambitions. But a woman needs to see you demonstrate that, even if you haven't achieved any of those goals. I know many women who don't need to date successful men so long as their guy is driven and working towards actually achieving something. If you are perceived as a loser by the general female population due to lacking such traits (whether the perception is fair or not), then you are only going to attract unambitious women who don't have much going for them either. Good luck building a future with such a person.

    On a casual dating level, most American women in their early to mid twenties who don't have religious values that preclude them from having sex are going to expect it at some point. So even if you're not looking for something serious at this point in life, the fact that you live with your parents means that she will feel there is no privacy in your home. No one wants to be in their 20s and still sneaking around like a teenager just because their man doesn't have his own place. In the meantime, your best bet would be to date women in similar positions as yourself - still finding their feet but hopefully, upwardly mobile.

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    • Even if both the guy and girl are not looking for something serious, the way you say it, it sounds like as if it is still far more important for a guy to have his own place then it is for a girl

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    • You said about me getting older that it has no impact on my future with women, why is that? How so? Be specific

    • Well?

  • Uh no, why is having standards being a gold digger? It's like saying that guys that like girls with boobs are a**holes. Most people would expect you to have some sh*t together before you go playing the field. I wouldn't date someone that didn't make as much or more money than me. I grew up struggling financially I'm not going back and I sure as hell am not taking care of a man financially as well as cook and clean and pamper him. I think its a huge turn on at least for me to date someone that is hardworking and ambitious, I doubt anyone would hook themselves to a wagon going nowhere fast. Just sayin.

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    • Men don't intuitively get this. I mean we can't -all- date someone who makes 'as much or more than us'. So for the most part, women do, and men don't think about it. And sometimes when they think about it, they feel used. Just, I think, as women sometimes feel used when they realize their partner wouldn't be dating them if they were significantly less attractive physically. It just is how things work.

    • I understand what you are saying however I think with women its much less superficial. For instance with me, I wouldn't want to date or marry a rich lazy guy. I want to date someone with a strong work ethic that is hardworking it's a sign of great character and a willingness to provide actively. Whereas your hair color or the size of your chest doesn't say much about WHO you are as a person, just that you are fertile.

    • Well I don't want to get married and start a family

  • While it depends on what stage of life a man is at, and as someone in your boat, it's all about maturity and ambition. If you live in with you parents, then be hustling to work your way to your career. With that said, no I don't thing a woman is a gold-digger for that, she just wants a mature equal. I expect that out of myself, so why wouldn't I expect that out of a man I want to be my equal?

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  • No

    What's wrong with wanting someone who isn't lazy and has a future?

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    • most guys don't care if a girl has a future or has a career or not

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    • Why is it bad for a guy to lack standards like that? how come just being attracted to the woman for her looks only is bad?

    • Who said it was bad?

  • Uh, no. Why would any woman invest her time into some dude that's lazy?

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    • A lot of guys will date a lazy girl

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    • That makes it easy for you girls

    • Yes that is an easy thing for women

  • it doesn't make her a gold digger, if she is educated too it is perfectly reasonable.

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What Guys Said 19

  • NO! Id say that not having a college degree and still living with the parents shows a lack of ambition in life and also makes you seem immature and lazy. Women want a guy who has a future who seems to have a life plan for having a job and being able to be independent and at some point support a family. You could argue that you don't have a college degree because you cannot afford it or that you still live with your parents for the same reason but really it all comes down to effort. You could at least have a job to pay for a degree or an apartment. I know personally I won't sate a girl unless she seems to have a life planned out in front of her and isn't just freeloading that does not make me a gold digger, that makes me smart in my decision for a life partner :P like many people, I would prefer be with someone who will be successful and make money. If this question was a personal question then I suggest you get a job, take out a bank loan for college programs that start in January (there are many). Work hard and get that degree, time to get life started man and the ladies will follow! good luck and hope this helps :)

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    • women don't need to be successful but men do, well just not nearly as much as we do, far more men than women are willing to overlook someone's lack of life success

    • no you're right, infact some men are intimidated by powerful successful women. Women want a man who they feel like can provide and make them feel safe. A man who doesn't even have his own place let alone his post secondary education does not give women the vibe of a provider or a man of power and therefore make them unattractive fairly quick.

      as for the question asker. You need to take baby steps, attend college while living at your parents. Then save up and work on moving out. Get life join

  • No it doesn't. Gold diggers are ones who you'd notice right away if they were wanting money as they'd only want to go to a high end restaurant, want frequent gifts that are expensive, and so on. All expecting you to pay 100% of course.

    Having a degree is just one way a girl measures "success" from a guy but these girls don't realize the fallacy in looking at a degree from a guy. Living with the parents is another. It is hard to move out these days in general and some people move out and things don't work out so they move back home to save money. If a girl cares, she'll understand. The college degree thing I feel is overrated if you don't have a major that's getting you a job. More and more people are catching onto what a scam college is. Plenty of people with Master's are jobless with an expensive piece of paper and no job to pay it off. I only recommend a degree to people who are going into jobs like medical and such. Too many jobs can even backfire on you if you have a degree.

    The problem I find with girls who judge such traits is that a lot of them haven't achieved these things for themselves. My last Girlfriend was an easy example. One of the first things she pointed out about me was that I have my own apartment. She lived with her parents though. Yet she was excited to hear that I have an apartment. If I was judgmental, I could have criticized her for not having her own place but I actually understand situations people end up in. Living with the parents can make things annoying for a person who lives on their own. A person who lives on their own doesn't have to put up with the parents being around, commenting on things, or the family arguments that may go on, or invading people's privacy, sharing bathrooms, and so on.

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    • that's where I feel girls have an advantage

    • Women who are materialistic aren't necessarily happy though.

      Since the feminist movements, there has been a statistical decline reported in women's happiness while men have remained the same more or less. So these girls can be as materialistic and picky as they want. When they go to bed at night, they're sad as hell and very empty.

  • It depends. If you think any woman who cares about a man's financial status is a gold digger, sure, and by that definition, almost all women once they are out of school and working themselves are gold diggers.

    If you think a gold digger is a woman who dates or sleeps with men she's not attracted to in order to reap the financial benefits, then no. Some women fall into that category, most do not, unless under pretty extreme financial duress.

    most women are genuinely more attracted to rich successful men. Even if they can't touch his money. Their instincts want his genes, and maybe resources for his children. A true gold digger wants his bank account for her own spending.

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  • No, it doesn't mean she's a gold-digger. It means she wants a guy who is intelligent and will likely be successful.

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  • No it doesn't make her a gold digger. You can have a college degree and have your own place and be broke. A gold digger goes after money, I would say a woman going after a man with a college degree that doesn't live with his parents is just looking for someone who's established, and may be ready to settle down. There's nothing wrong with living with your parents at 23, or at any other age depending on why. Don't rush out to get your own place, sure it sounds like a lot of fun, and it can be, but it's also very expensive. There are tons of women who don't give a rats booty about college, or where you live, they just wanna have fun.

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    • Yeah I don't want to put my dating life and sex life on hold while working on other areas in life like this

  • Would you like women to continually see you as a loser with no potential?

    Get off your ass, get a job or go to school to get a job and quit being a waste of space.

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    • I am currently employed at a grocery store

    • Good start at least. Not bad. But you can do better, and you should really look to making more money somehow or finding a career you can really enjoy and make a decent living off of.

    • Yeah the hardest part is finding something I would enjoy doing

  • makes me hate the cards I was dealt with for being a guy

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  • It would depend on why he's living with his parents and what he's doing for a living. If he's a deadbeat who is constantly broke, it's understandable that she wouldn't want to date him.

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  • Trust me man, I am in a similar predicament where I got my life started a bit later. I am envious that others seem more independent and that women seem to search for it. Keep at it. Make sure you are at least moving forward towards a goal of some kind.

    To quote Vegeta: "First the money, then the bitches".

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  • Depends. Does this lady have a degree?

    If not then probably. Or she's looking for someone to take care of her.

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    • Even women who have a college degree expect the guy to have a college degree

  • to me yes it does

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  • I don't think so, but blame evolution and biology

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  • "A gold digger is a girl who purposely wants a guy for money related things in my book."

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  • Nobody is obligated to date anybody, in any circumstance. So why does the exception of the person being dependent change things?

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  • women want somebody better than themselves so they can use his resources etc. Its how they will always be unfortunately. Nothing is more shallow than women

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    • funny how they all mention its maturity. It's just their code word to mean money so they don't sound like a gold digger which 99% of women are

  • Not necessarily unless she was in a similar position. I always say that the bear minimum you should be open to dating is someone on your level. I'm in college right now and many of my female colleagues will not date me because I don't have a car yet they take the Metro to school or mall etc. Many girls I know believe that once they have experienced certain luxuries (a car, a man with an apartment/house, 5 star treatment) they can never "downgrade" and every guy from hereon in must be at a certain level or higher. It is like woman who demand their exhusbands maintain their level of living after a divorce.

    People in generally need to stop having lists upon lists of things they want and actually look at the core of relationships which is compatibility. The kind of compatibility that comes from getting to know someones traits and character and not the material possessions you seem

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    • Yea women won't grow out of that laundry list syndrome they got. It's all about what they can brag to their friends on what they have. There's more logical ways to go about it.

      Like I won't date a drink living at home drinking beer all day while going out partying. But I'd date a girl who was working and looking to move out and just needed to figure things out. There's a big difference.

  • First off you're still young. Don't worry about finding a girl that already wants to settle down. No, it doesn't make her a gold digger. Gold digger's tie a person worth entirely to your wealth. When said wealth is gone or they find someone with more...your worth is nothing. What you're describing is a different phenomenon.

    Hate to say it buddy. Unless you're unbelievably good looking your financial stability, ambition, drive determines your value to most women. Obviously for us guys, we usually don't give a sh*t about any of that when picking a partner. Guys are similar in how we focus too much on physical attraction and less on the quality of the person.

    Once I got my Engineering degree I suddenly became more interesting to women my age. I actually avoid telling people what I do until I know them better.

    Don't let it get to you man, and don't let it make you bitter. It's just the way things are.

    Just keep an eye out for that girl that see's what direction your heading and recognizes your potential. That's someone that's worth keeping.

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    • I'm not looking to settle down anytime soon or get married I just want a relationship but with no marriage potential

    • perfect, you're gonna have to date younger girls. As close to 18 as you can stand lol. Girls that age are usually easily impressed and don't care about that yet.

    • Yeah if only more women didn't want to have kids

  • she's just like every other girl and they want somebody better than them in practically every way. Nothing new here

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    • Right. So in this hypothetical all these women are uneducated and unemployed, right? So if a chick with a doctorate degree says "gee ya know I just feel like I'd be more compatible with someone with at least a bachelors", clearly she's just a worthless broad who is trying to get someone WAY out of her league.

    • She would only go for a guy who had a degree higher than hers

  • No, but I mean most people strive for a college degree and not living at their parents house after a certain age. Unfortunately, due to the bad state of the economy and lack of jobs, some people don't have a choice. Many opt out of going to college and take part-time work instead, or go to a trade-school of sorts. I think people should be understanding and respectful of individual situations, but in all-reality, many aren't.

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