Would you date someone if you know your family wouldn't like them?

I come from a fairly large and extremely close knit family. I love my family and in no way want to live life without them. However internally I'm very different from my family members. My beliefs about everything such as religion, race, sexual orientation, and life in general can sometimes be in stark contrast with most of theirs, but when it comes to my relationship with my family these things don't matter. I tend to keep my beliefs to myself to avoid upsetting or loosing the people I love the most. When I'm single this isn't a problem, but when I date it is. I tend to date people who fit me and my personality but contrast with what my family would want whether that be in appearance, mannerism, beliefs, whatever. They say that they would accept anyone I choose because they love me but my last ex proved that was a lie. I love my family but the people they want me to date just aren't appealing to me. I haven't dated anyone in over a year because I don't want to have to go through choosing between a significant other and my family again. I've avoided a lot of potentially amazing relationships with very attractive people all because in the back of my head I see my family being judgmental and not liking them. But I'm starting to get really lonely and I'm tired of coming up with excuses about why I'm not dating anyone. It's also frustrating because whenever I do start to get into a relationship I remember the way my ex was treated and I become nervous and ruin things. I just don't know what to do. Please don't tell me to follow my heart because they might be "the one" and other cliches like that. I understand some people like to believe that but it doesn't help my situation and it only makes things more stressful.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly mate, I'm kinda in the same boat. My family is all white nothing else no one has branched out of white. My dad's side (not true blood) is Scottish, My mom's side is Dutch and Russian (and a lot of others). Both are European. I don't hate white girls but I get sick of the way they are sometimes. I want to date Asian girls (true not Asian American), just my style. But! My family will not approve on either side. Both say racist things. Some things are really racist. I love them but seriously. My parents are fine with Asian. My grandparents will not hear of it, so I have never thought to bring a Asian girl home (I need a girlfriend never had one...) but I am so scared of what might happen when I bring her to meet the rest of my family when I want to introduce my girl friend to my family. I've gotten over that, yes I am still scared but I will have to tell them that I love her and that they have to deal with it. Honestly it's a hard thing to do but you love who you love.

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