Is it obvious that it's over?

okay...so I am going to try to make a long story short... I met this guy a while back at an internship and we started out as friends and then we went on a few dates but then I left to travel for a while and he ended up getting back together with his ex during that time. about a year past and we started writing each other on Facebook again and after a while he asked me out again and I decided to give him a second chance. on our first date...he said he was sorry for everthing that happened with his ex and we started dating regularly after that and have been seeing each other for a couple of months now. I have been very unsure exactly how I felt towards him in the beginning...i always liked him but I wouldn't say that I am in love with him. everything started off great though. we never talked about being exclusive but I thought it was sweet because he really took time to get to know me before he even tried to kiss me. he only kissed me on our fourth date. but then on our dates after that...he would always try to sleep with me. I should probably mention at this point that I don't have a lot of experience with guys and am still a virgin...so I told him I didn't want that yet and he told me that he is a nice guy and understands that. I still felt bad though always telling him he should go or leaving if it got to be too much for me. I know that sex is important to guys and it maybe also hurt his ego when I would tell him to leave...? but yeah...i guess being a virgin and also being a little unsure about how I feel about him...i was maybe a little distanced at times with him. and we have had a few days where we didn't write or see each other but now I have a really weird feeling because I wrote him a cute message and he didn't respond to that and I thought that was weird...so a friend said that I should text him casually and I just asked how's he doing and he answered kind of vague but still asked how I was doing... has this guy completely lost interest and I am just wasting my time? or can I still save this somehow?...is it just his bruised ego because I turned him down so many times?

sorry...i know I said that I would make a long story short but I think you guys needed to know these details.

so yeah...any advice would be appreciated! thanks in advance


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What Guys Said 2

  • i guess, he saw himself getting parked in the friend zone, that can really hurt.

    he probably came to the conclusion that this relationship was getting nowhere and it was time to put a stop to his miserable situation.

    it's a self protection thing that activates when you can't take anymore, and is not to be mistaken with a lack of interest / feelings.

    and by the way, for me sex is part of a relationship that is going on for month. this has nothing to do with casual dating or fwb, it's just normal human behavior for a person your age.

    i'm not saying you have to get intimate after a couple of dates, but at one time you should know what you want.

    my advice, next time, don't play with a guys feelings.

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    • do you think that I could still contact him though and save whatever it is we have or do you think that it sounds like he is too hurt and it probably wouldn't make any sense? like what would you do if you were in his situation and the girl contacted you again?

    • if my guess is right:

      first you should know for yourself what your expectations are.

      unless you both share the same idea of a relationship, contacting him doesn't really lead to a happy end.

      by the way, did he try to get you into bed at the end of every date after the fourth or just from time to time?

    • yeah I guess I need to figure out what it is that I want. thanks for your advice! oh and no not every single time...but on a lot of the dates. he didn't really pressure me though...he just asked if I wanted to take it further.

  • He was only trying to get with you for sex! he isn't interested in a relationship with you at all. Well done for resisting his advances, as soon as you start putting out to him he would be constantly after more or just dump you when you refuse. Avoid him you deserve far better. A guy who is interested in having a serious relationship with you won't keep bugging you for sex.

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